Today, my husband came home with a bunch of realistic-looking wigs for women. When I asked them what they were for, he said he wanted to spice up our sex life with them. When I told him I refused to wear a wig, he said in a very serious tone that I wasn't going to be the one wearing them, he was. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I had a chat with my husband, and I convinced him to try being more spontaneous to spice up our sex life. This evening, he burst into our bedroom with an eyepatch on, and "seductively" growled, "I'm gonna slay your pussy, wench." FML
Today, I found out my husband is a cuck. After explaining that I'm not exactly satisfied in the bedroom, we were thinking of ideas to spice things up. I suggested buying a few toys he could use on me. He immediately got mad, because he wanted me to find other men to screw instead. FML
Today, my girlfriend tried to get me to wear curly wig, so I could pretend to be Harry Styles in bed. FML
Today, as I was about to have sex with my husband, I said I wanted to "spice things up." Apparently, our ideas weren't the same. He yanked my nipples as hard as he could and said, "Yeah, you like that?" FML
Today, my boyfriend tried to make me wear a fake mustache during sex. He said it "turns him on." FML
Today, my husband's version of roleplaying was pretending that he actually wanted to have sex with me. FML
Today, my boyfriend asked me to 'spice things up in the bedroom'. When I asked how, he said I could try wearing a paper bag over my head. FML
Today, I asked my wife how we could spice up our sex life. She wants me to dress up and talk like Joe Exotic. No, she wasn’t kidding. FML
Today, my husband came home, threw me over his shoulder, and carried me to the bedroom. Furious, I shrieked to be put down and demanded an explanation. He said, "I thought you wanted us to be more spontaneous…" Apparently, that means he should treat me like a sex toy. FML
Today, I found one of those realistic, expensive sex dolls in my boyfriend's cupboard. I asked why on earth he had that and apparently it’s for all those filthy, violent sexual things he likes to do, but knows most women would never even agree to try. Um, WHAT? FML
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Top comments
Pleonasm 36
Tell him he has Toupée extra for that. I hope he doesn't try to give it a little wig-gle in there.
Myo_fml 20
15: I do believe that I am going to need years of therapy after reading that.
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Comments (99)
DanielleinDC 34
Maybe he wants to get in touch with his feminine side. As long as he sticks to wigs, you should be okay.
justjimmy89 5
interesting.. how many wigs was it? it's only weird if it was more than 3 haha
redreynard 14
I voted YDI because you seem kinda prudish. I don't get why you would have refused to wear a wig, that seems like a pretty tame sexual fantasy on your husband's part. As for the other half of the FML, at least your husband refuses to let a good hairpiece go to waste.
lilhellian 27
The wig wasn't for her.. The husband apparently wishes he was a tranny, girl, or just your average drag queen..
allisaurusrex 7
But the wife said she refused to wear the wig regardless. Nothing wrong with a man wanting to feel feminine, but personally I think it would have been better of her husband to talk to OP prior to bringing home the wigs. After all he just wasted a bunch of money on wigs, since it doesn't sound like OP is okay with it. :c
lilhellian 27
I never said it was wrong..
redreynard 14
I know it wasn't for her. She flat out refused before she knew otherwise. I'm just saying that maybe she should be more open-minded and be pleased that her husband is obviously so comfortable with her. Although, given that she wasn't even willing to do the dress-up thing herself, I doubt she'll go for this.
panda_lou 11
Shooting down new ideas before you even give them a try. . . Yeah I have no idea why your husband is bored with your sex life. . .
gnashpotatoes 4
Kinkey
loserman67 36
He just wants to have some fun, nothing wrong with that. You should only worry if he pulls out a merkin.
RedPillSucks 33
OP didn't say the wigs were for the head. And damn you for forcing me to google merkin. :-)
anitadoody 7
Oh come on, it's just a wig, not a latex priest robe with a giant strap-on and high-heels with pink stockings! Stop whining and open up a little bit, it may be more fun than you've ever imagined, OP!
1dvs_bstd 41
What's wrong wig him?
challan 19
Pretend he's in an 80's rock band and go with it. He's your husband. Have sex wearing a bunny costume while he wears a wolf get up. Who cares? Try anything and everything. The fact that you wouldn't even put on a wig says that you are a selfish lover. No wonder he's looking to explore.
TheDrifter 24
It seems the world has an abundance of women who believe that being physically present and doing their best starfish impression should be enough to keep their husbands sexual creativity satisfied.
klutz44 28
Before trying new things in the bedroom, I think partners should talk about it. If my husband came home and said, "you're going to wear this during sex", it would be a huge turn off. If he asked me if I would be cool with it before buying a wig...I would probably be cool with it. Surprises can be fun, but not when they come with orders that I'm expected to obey.
poccocurantes 7
That's wigged out.