Today, I got so drunk that I decided it was a good idea to get naked and jump on a trampoline in the back of a neighbour’s garden. Said neighbour is a police officer. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I heard someone try to get into my back garden. I ran to the front door, opened it, and shouted at whoever it was. I then saw a police officer appear, following the person who'd jumped my fence. I then realised I wasn't wearing any trousers. I'd shouted at the police half naked. FML
Today, I walked into the kitchen to eat some breakfast. I got a full visual of my drunk neighbor dancing naked in my backyard. FML
Today, I got so drunk that I tasered myself in the balls as a joke, fell down my friend's porch stairs and rolled out into the street. FML
Today, I had to be bailed out of the local police station while hungover. I don’t remember any of it but I got so drunk yesterday I apparently went and took a shit on my cheating ex wife’s grave in front of witnesses, and was arrested while trying to stumble my way home. FML
Today, I lost my house keys while staggering home drunk, so I decided to climb through an opened window and promptly went to bed. Twenty minutes later the police wake me up while attempting to search my place. The neighbors thought I was a burglar and called the cops. FML
Today, I went to a party. Although I wasn't drinking, I was still afraid the cops would bust me. Halfway through the party, the cops showed up. I tried to hop a fence, ripping my pants and cutting my leg in the meantime. It wasn't until was on the ground that I found out there was a gate. FML
Today, I went to a party that my friends were throwing. I had a great time and got blackout drunk. I woke up to videos from my girlfriend from last night. At some point I'd managed to take off my shorts and boxers and spent the rest of the party naked from the waist down. FML
Today, my drunken father decided to walk my quiet street naked. FML
Today, I caught my elderly neighbour skinny-dipping in my pool. FML
Today, I had to run to put the trash out for the garbage truck, only I was so hungover, I forgot I was only wearing an open dressing gown and no underwear. A few neighbours and passing cars got to see me swinging in the breeze. FML
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Top comments
EverestMelting 23
Haha you deserved that one. Maybe you should stop getting wasted? There's a thought.
ripresno 10
This is why alcohol is bad, kids
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Comments (81)
EverestMelting 23
Haha you deserved that one. Maybe you should stop getting wasted? There's a thought.
FrostHeart 36
It would have been better if OP had said his age, so we could know wether he was streaking, and underage drinking, or just streaking.
emilyjgraham 34
Although I should have read the whole thing before judging, I instantly decided they deserved it simply because of the beginning.
IAmJad 18
Maybe it was New Year's Eve? How do you know that he always gets wasted?
Catkam623 27
What if he's underage
Werken247 14
What if he is a she? See the name...
PrimeEvilTahir 24
Or maybe this is actually Peter Griffin and his neighbor is Joe!
ripresno 10
This is why alcohol is bad, kids
ICastillo 25
No. This is why you drink responsible and handle your alcohol kids..
lonx805 1
Your picture is my wallpaper ! Small world !(;
itsharkley 8
You heard that alcohol is bad when you were a kid, but you drink it now anyways. Teach them like equals.
cgchamp89 7
Alcohol brings out the best in all of us! And it frequently makes my job entertaining
amillionbucks 5
Luckily he wasn't home, right?
botanistjessica 24
Pretty sure if he wasn't home there would be no FML. It would just be an IASD (I am so dumb).
Hiimhaileypotter 53
I think the FML is that he was...
Hiimhaileypotter 53
Sorry 21, I didn't see that you had commented before I did.
heliraptor 13
Look on the bright side. At last you weren't chewing on electrical cords.
nycwrestler 17
Why reference a completely different fml?
heliraptor 13
Why not?
windfuelsfire 10
So many questions, no real answers, leaves only place for individual expressions
etchsanity1 11
Oh 19 I see what you did there "plug in"
shorty6823 28
Cops like a good story to share while eating their donuts.
poccocurantes 7
User name Amber. Makings of a good doughnut story.
kingbrizo 24
haha that comment man, that made my day right there. that's perfect && needs to be idolized in all future FMLs about cops
rattusrattus 19
Some things are great together - e.g. cookie dough, chocolate chips, and vanilla ice cream. However this is more like carrots, cheese, and semi-skimmed milk. Tasty individually, and sometimes can combine nicely if you only pick two, but together they are an unholy disaster formed from a six-year-old's misunderstanding of what 'salad dressing' actually is.
emilyjgraham 34
I think that's the longest way of saying "alcohol and nakedness do not mix well"! It made me chuckle. :)
ICastillo 25
Hey trampolines are fun anytime. Especially when naked and drunk. I do that all the time. If the neighbor was fun they would have joined in.
gc327072 31
~Totally! Nothing like doing a backflip whilst helicoptering.~
Dwrulesalot 5
Jumping on a trampoline drunk is fun as hell. I don't know whose trampoline it was, but that didn't make it any less fun.
anitadoody 7
That's stupid, you know?
howdeedoo 22
I know
DingoCJ 15
It's not that stupid he did it, but it's f***ing stupid he got caught doing it.
CharresBarkrey 16
63 - If you feel the need to censor yourself on a site in which it is not required, how about just not curse at all? You clearly have an issue with it and censoring it makes you look ******* stupid.
Cbizzlez 10
Could've been worse, he could've walked out and tazed your bare drunk ass
kevsandy303 12
I think he was enjoying the show ;)
SuperDanielNL 23
Lay low for a while, if he doesn't confront you, you dodged a bullet. If shit hits the fan, there isn't much you can do.