Today, my husband came home, threw me over his shoulder, and carried me to the bedroom. Furious, I shrieked to be put down and demanded an explanation. He said, "I thought you wanted us to be more spontaneous…" Apparently, that means he should treat me like a sex toy. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, as I was about to have sex with my husband, I said I wanted to "spice things up." Apparently, our ideas weren't the same. He yanked my nipples as hard as he could and said, "Yeah, you like that?" FML
Today, I was arguing with my husband and he screamed at me to the point of tears. He asked, “Why are you crying? Last night we had rough sex where I spanked you, threw you around in bed, called you names, and you enjoyed that shit.” FML
Today, I found out my husband is a cuck. After explaining that I'm not exactly satisfied in the bedroom, we were thinking of ideas to spice things up. I suggested buying a few toys he could use on me. He immediately got mad, because he wanted me to find other men to screw instead. FML
Today, my husband got upset that I'm not willing to explore weird kinks with him. I had a wild phase when I was younger, and he didn't, so he thinks it's unfair that I got to experiment and he didn't. Sorry you don't know what you like, but I'm not your sex toy. FML
Today, as soon as I got home, my husband said he was hungry and that I needed to cook. I flipped my shit and yelled at him for a good half hour. Later, he pulled out his phone and showed me videos of me doing the exact thing to him, asking him to do things the second he walked in the door. FML
Today, I told my husband that I'm tired of feeling like his "blow-up doll". His response was to honk my boob and make squeaking noises. FML
Today, my boyfriend thought it would be romantic to pick me up, throw me over his shoulder and take me to the bedroom. Little did he know that he literally threw me over his shoulder, and I face-planted on the ground. FML
Today, my husband got jealous of my new vibrator. I got the vibrator to "spice things up" between us, because he hasn't touched me in months. FML
Today, I had a chat with my husband, and I convinced him to try being more spontaneous to spice up our sex life. This evening, he burst into our bedroom with an eyepatch on, and "seductively" growled, "I'm gonna slay your pussy, wench." FML
Today, a "friend" mentioned that my husband was "yummy", then asked if she could "have a turn" with him. I left and went home, outraged. When I told my husband, he couldn't conceal his stupid horny grin, and immediately tried to initiate sex. Pig. FML
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Top comments
mr.DiddyEpsteen 4
see why he is confused? you should create a format of exactly what you want him to do thats spontaneous so he can follow that witch defeats the purpose.
FluffythePink 23
"I demand spontaneous in this relationship!" *Husband is spontaneous* "No! Not like that! I can't believe you tried to be spontaneous!" 🤦
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Comments (6)
mr.DiddyEpsteen 4
see why he is confused? you should create a format of exactly what you want him to do thats spontaneous so he can follow that witch defeats the purpose.
FluffythePink 23
"I demand spontaneous in this relationship!" *Husband is spontaneous* "No! Not like that! I can't believe you tried to be spontaneous!" 🤦
Charlie Given 28
I feel sorry for your husband he must be miserable dealing with you!
d j mom 9
wow you're a frigid icy b***h. so you really don't want sex at all, you just want him to think you do and get pissed when he tries. don't be surprised when he starts looking for it elsewhere. most women would have loved their husbands to have fun like that. FHL
easybree 10
um wow I would love this lmao
TomeDr 25
You need to have a serious conversation about the difference between romance and foreplay. Might want to work in the definition of “consensual” as well.