Today, I was about to lose my virginity to my girlfriend. Unfortunately, she started fake-moaning like a pornstar before I even entered her, totally killing the mood and my boner. She swore she hadn't moaned, accused me of not finding her attractive enough, and angrily left. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was all set to lose my virginity to my girlfriend. I was ecstatic, until she threatened to "beat the fuck" out of me if I didn't make it good for her. The actual sex was 30 seconds of me being given death glares, causing me to lose my boner, and have to leave in shame. FML
Today, as I was about to lose my virginity to my girlfriend, she started doing stupidly fake moaning, which then went really high-pitched like a little girl's, killing my hard-on. She says she thought that because I'm Japanese-American, I'd only be able to come if she copied "those Japanese pornstars". FML
Today, while going down on my girlfriend, she stopped moaning and told me to stop because she couldn't fake it anymore. FML
Today, I was finally all set to lose my virginity. My girlfriend pushed me onto the bed and pulled off my underwear. She then made a face as if she'd just sucked on a lemon, and got up and left without a word. I haven't heard from her since. FML
Today, I lost my virginity to the girl of my dreams. I could tell she really enjoyed it, because she muttered, "Well, that was disappointing." afterwards, then got dressed, said she'd made a huge mistake, and asked me not to call her again. Yep, total stud. FML
Today, I was about to lose my virginity. I couldn't get it up. FML
Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend. Its was pretty good and heavy and she was moaning nicely. Then her moans got softer and softer and then nothing. She fell asleep. FML
Today, I lost my virginity. In the middle of it, he just gave up and said he wasn't in the mood anymore. Then I had to listen about his past failed relationships for over an hour. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I were going to get intimate, so I masturbated before leaving my place, hoping it would help me last longer than usual. 10 minutes in, she shoved me off and started screaming at me, convinced that I've been cheating on her and practising with someone else. FML
Today, as my girlfriend and I were making love, and she started to moan and groan. All of a sudden, she stopped and said, "I'm lying, you suck at this." FML
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Top comments
alex_622 22
Sorry OP. Maybe she wasn't worth it then
RedCityScapes 5
She denied moaning? You both have ears- that was a dumb excuse. She may have been embarrassed, but that was an overreaction on her part.
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Comments (107)
shesashootinstar 6
You do know that females can ****** without being touched at all right? She might not have realized she was moaning at all. I'd be pissed if I were her too.
more4me 27
bitches be crazy.
mister_icicle 17
Great job, Don Juan. Next time, take it as a compliment.
HeartYou101 31
I cringed when I read this
graphicstyle7 17
If you're a virgin, how do you know if it's "fake" or not? Stop watching **** online and do the real thing a few times. You have a long way to go to be emotionally mature enough to be with someone anyway. If someone is moaning and you think it's fake, slow down, have a gentle talk, start again. Maybe she was worried about not being good enough.
interesting33 37
Maybe she was moaning because of the foreplay?
granCanyon 12
Maybe she was very aroused. Vaginal sex is not the only way to make a girl have an ******. Actually many women won't achieve an ****** with just penetration. You don't even know if she was faking. Some people can make weird noises during intercourse. You are probably both young and this must have been very awkward for her too. I think you handled it very badly. Even if she was faking then you don't know why she did it. Maybe she was scared that she's not good enough or that she's doing something wrong. If her noises were so distracting you could have started kissing her.
DarkStorm2Bad 14
Am I the only one who read it like this?: "I was finally about to bone my girlfriend, but then she moaned in a way that killed my mood; she told me she never moaned an' that I don't find her sexy enough, an' then said there was no way."
amisenho 11
Not until you mentioned it. Now I have to read it in that voice forever and ever and ever. Thanks!
muah97 12
Home made **** gone wrong
poisongirl708 11
That probably means that she wasn't worth it to begin with.