Today, I was about to lose my virginity to my girlfriend. Unfortunately, she started fake-moaning like a pornstar before I even entered her, totally killing the mood and my boner. She swore she hadn't moaned, accused me of not finding her attractive enough, and angrily left. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was all set to lose my virginity to my girlfriend. I was ecstatic, until she threatened to "beat the fuck" out of me if I didn't make it good for her. The actual sex was 30 seconds of me being given death glares, causing me to lose my boner, and have to leave in shame. FML
Today, as I was about to lose my virginity to my girlfriend, she started doing stupidly fake moaning, which then went really high-pitched like a little girl's, killing my hard-on. She says she thought that because I'm Japanese-American, I'd only be able to come if she copied "those Japanese pornstars". FML
Today, while going down on my girlfriend, she stopped moaning and told me to stop because she couldn't fake it anymore. FML
Today, I was finally all set to lose my virginity. My girlfriend pushed me onto the bed and pulled off my underwear. She then made a face as if she'd just sucked on a lemon, and got up and left without a word. I haven't heard from her since. FML
Today, I lost my virginity to the girl of my dreams. I could tell she really enjoyed it, because she muttered, "Well, that was disappointing." afterwards, then got dressed, said she'd made a huge mistake, and asked me not to call her again. Yep, total stud. FML
Today, I was about to lose my virginity. I couldn't get it up. FML
Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend. Its was pretty good and heavy and she was moaning nicely. Then her moans got softer and softer and then nothing. She fell asleep. FML
Today, I lost my virginity. In the middle of it, he just gave up and said he wasn't in the mood anymore. Then I had to listen about his past failed relationships for over an hour. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I were going to get intimate, so I masturbated before leaving my place, hoping it would help me last longer than usual. 10 minutes in, she shoved me off and started screaming at me, convinced that I've been cheating on her and practising with someone else. FML
Today, as my girlfriend and I were making love, and she started to moan and groan. All of a sudden, she stopped and said, "I'm lying, you suck at this." FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
alex_622 22
Sorry OP. Maybe she wasn't worth it then
RedCityScapes 5
She denied moaning? You both have ears- that was a dumb excuse. She may have been embarrassed, but that was an overreaction on her part.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (107)
angiespook 18
Denying it was a dumb move, but moaning before the fact is totally possible. You're turned on, that's what happens. The thought is probably enough to make her moan because she's attracted to you.
ThePols 11
When you grow up and look back on this, you'll realize how stupid you were. Girls don't just moan when you put it in them. She was probably really worked up and filled with anticipation that when you got close she couldn't keep it in. Then denied it cause you made her feel embarrassed about it. Now she'll be self conscious about moaning for a very long time. Congrats, not only did you ruin that sex for her but maybe sex with others. Stop being so sensitive.
BeepBeepSwerve 9
boo ******* hoo, and how do you know he isn't mature??? maybe he just finds moaning before actual sex a turn off? jeez leave OP alone, seems people on here seem to enjoy blaming the males for everything
limabeans101029 21
Oh don't turn this into a "blaming males" issue, because it really isn't. It wasn't OP's fault that he got turned off by the moaning, but he didn't have to accuse her of faking it.
otecasacid 22
if you don't find moaning attractive i question your masculinity.
THEDARKLORDOFALL 17
Damn. If it were me I'd go ahead anyway and make those moans real but that's some shit. Your life sucks
amifaiyaz 12
I can feel for her - women don't only get aroused by penetration and first times can be pretty nerve racking. She was probably just getting really into it and let herself go for a second?
NachoYoda 15
Wat
lilushi 8
Sounds like she's not really ready. Been there.
jonoLFC 6
Wait for marriage bro.
Wafflestomper 22
Never look a gift horse in the ******.
fucktheops 3
lmao..