Birthday, Break-ups and Love: Treat yourself

Treat yourself

By birthday bash - this FML is from back in 2010 but it's good stuff - France

Today, it was my girlfriend's birthday. She decided that her "gift to herself" would be to leave the loser who has been holding her back for two years. Hello, my name is Ben, and I'm that loser. FML

agreeclassic 34 226

vote type 1 5 248

Back to school
Is that it, have we really enjoyed the holidays? It's time to find the best back-to-school struggles. More…

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Today, I found out that my boyfriend of two years has a beautiful daughter. That's cool, except she's one year old. FML

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Today, I discovered that my ex-girlfriend, who I dated for 6 years, is getting engaged to my friend. The very same "friend" who's been encouraging me to break up with her for the past year. FML

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Sounds promising

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Today, I poured my heart out to my girlfriend of two years expressing my feelings for her. She responded with, "I'm going to bed." FML

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Friends

By justfriends - this FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me. It's OK, though, she says we can still go on the vacation I planned next month for our 3 year anniversary, just "as friends." The tickets are non-refundable. FML

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Been there, done that

By hlewrn - this FML is from back in 2016 but it's good stuff - United States - Centreville

Today, I broke up with my girlfriend for another girl. This other girl helped me break up with her so we could date. After it was all done, she promptly rejected me and in front of everyone, saying how much of a douche I was for leaving my girlfriend for another girl. FML

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So creepy

By anonymous - this FML is from back in 2013 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, my crazy ex-girlfriend legally changed her last name to mine. I'm getting married in a week. FML

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Insult to injury

By Anonymous - this FML is from back in 2010 but it's good stuff - Canada

Today, my girlfriend of 3 years left me for a guy whose favorite color is camouflage. FML

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We were on a break!

By Anonymous - this FML is from back in 2019 but it's good stuff

Today, my ex of 5 years got engaged after 5 months of us "taking a break." FML

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Turnaround

By grrrr - this FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I broke up with my boyfriend. Feeling bad, I texted him a few hours later apologizing. He said it was fine and that he went ahead and picked up a girl from the mall. FML

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Scary!

By Anonymous - this FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - United Kingdom

Today, my boyfriend dumped me, all because he's scared of my mother. FML

agreeclassic 34 249

vote type 1 5 891

fullyhalfempty 0

Monday 4 January 2010 9:10

You're a winner to me, Ben.

carlablob 0

Friday 17 June 2011 7:25

wat

Comments

PantherFang 2

Tuesday 3 November 2015 5:40

The best revenge is success.

puckmaster889 14

Thursday 28 January 2016 17:37

Hi loser im dad

Addiction333 14

Sunday 21 February 2016 19:53

Was her name Emily

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Keywords

Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Kids Parenting Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Intimacy Suspicious Sex Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

Top

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me because I cancelled our date tonight. I cancelled because I had a seizure and was taken to the hospital. FML

agreeclassic 63 059

vote type 1 3 675

Today, I begged the people at my new job not to call my current boss for a reference because he is a vindictive dog shite. They called him for a reference, he tanked me, they believed him and withdrew my job offer. My boss also sacked me for disloyalty, thus proving he’s a vindictive dog shite. FML

agreeclassic 415

vote type 1 98

Today, less than a day after my cranky downstairs neighbor passed away, I woke up to banging sounds against his apartment ceiling, like the ones he used to make whenever I walked around during the night. I'm shitting myself in fear. FML

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vote type 1 4 638

Today, my fiancé and I were having sex. I've been secretly taking Welsh lessons as a surprise for him, so when I was getting close, I whispered the Welsh for "Don't stop." He pulled out and accused me of cheating on him with his best friend. He won't believe anything else. FML

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vote type 1 4 727

Today, a creepy man on the subway said he liked my eyeballs. It was the best compliment I've received in months. FML

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Today, my mom has fibromyalgia. Besides chronic pain, another common symptom of this is frequent brain fog. I realized just how bad it can be today when she asked ME, with complete seriousness, "How old am I?" I thought I'd misheard, but nope - that's exactly what she said. This is more of an FML for her, but… FML

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vote type 1 82

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