Today, at work, I met a new client for the first time. Apparently he thought it would be a good idea to get drunk beforehand and spend the whole appointment telling me about his 9-inch "drill bit." I have to try and find this guy a job. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I had a job interview with a man that I got drunk with at a bar on Saturday night. He spent an hour telling me things I did that I don't even remember. FML
Today, I overheard my boss talking about me on the phone. Turns out he was drunk off his ass when he gave the go-ahead to hire me, and he's now searching for any excuse to legally fire me. FML
Today, my boss sent me to a meeting with a client I've never met to do some damage control and renegotiate his contract. For two hours, he alternated between threatening to sue us, and making vulgar comments about raping me in his office. FML
Today, I had to have a word with my boss about how him coming into work drunk is probably not a very good idea. FML
Today, a customer bought several drill bits. When I asked him, "Do you want a bag for your bits?" he just stared at me uncomfortably, apparently thinking I was trying to come onto him. FML
Today, I showed up to my new job early, hoping to impress my new boss. When he arrived, he walked by me and muttered, "Fucking tryhard." FML
Today, I met one of my company's big clients. The second he stepped into my office, the room filled with a stink like a thousand dirty jockstraps piled inside a filthy gas station bathroom. After he left, I commented on it to my boss. I was told that I would be meeting him at least three times a week. FML
Today, I started training as a bartender. My very first client told me how his wife is sleeping with her sister's husband. He then told me that all the women he knows only want sex, and asked me why "we" were like that. He could be my dad. FML
Today, I started my job as a driving instructor. My first client showed up piss drunk. FML
Today, my new boss asked me to handle a very difficult client, warning me that, "He's kind of a dick." My accidental response? "That's fine, I'm great at handling dicks." FML
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Top comments
Jimster1712 0
Hmm, 9 inch drill bits, that must be hard to find in your local hardware store, interesting conversation you had there.
Blueglasscup 18
Male prostitute?
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Comments (112)
sakforduc 0
Why's everyone saying that it's impossible to have a 9 incher. I know for a fact it is. I just don't got around advertising it. This being an exception of course. Anyway he's an idiot for even bringing it up. I always say that I'm smaller then I actually am. Makes for a good surprise :)
RyanMacVey 17
coz yer such a modest guy...
ThreeSheetsGone 12
I got three inches at 90 miles an hour. Bitches love it.
mynewaccount 8
What a character.
Kollito_fml 8
and boom goes the dynamite
TalkinSmack 6
Is the hardware store hiring? Lmfao
perdix 31
He ought to be out there makin' hole. As Sarah Palin says, "Drill, baby, drill." She probably talking about ANWR, but I like to think it's a come-on. She's a GILF!
man_in_black08 28
Hmm u need can give him a ********.. :p
jlp549 5
Should of asked him for proof.
womblebat 2
Perhaps he'd enjoy a career in ****?
nite66 21
**** star lol
athos1237 4
Actually you don't. Put his ass at the bottom of the applicants pile and forget about him. If he can't show up sober or discussing appropriate business topics then "no job for him"