Today, as I was leaving the office, I heard my very cute coworker behind me say "Hey gorgeous, where are you off to?" I turned around with a smile and said "About to hit up happy hour." He was on the phone with his wife. I'm calling in sick tomorrow. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my husband got on a business call, but he was not using his usual booming, baritone voice. Instead, he was soft and sweet and began with, "Hey, how have you been?" and quickly went into his office. Curious, I listened outside his door. It was a female co-worker. The work talk was waaaay too fun and familiar. FML
Today, my co-worker handed me the phone and said it was my boyfriend calling, so I answered "Hello, Love!" It was my boss. FML
Today, at work, my phone rang. My intern answered it and told me it was a coworker who'd just left. I picked up and said "What's up bitch? What are you going to complain about now?!" It was actually my boss. FML
Today, my boss phoned me and asked me why I wasn't at work. I was in the staff room. I'd said hello to her as I came in the door. FML
Today, I went to a social event with a very attractive male co-worker. Things were going awesome, we were flirting and really hitting it off. Then his 'wife' called. FML
Today, I got up early and really put some extra effort into my appearance to catch the eye of a cute guy at work. I walked in and the woman who sits at the desk beside me looks over and says, "Wow, are you sick? You're not looking too good." FML
Today, I went to my boyfriend's work to surprise him. When I got there, I called him on his phone to tell him to turn around. I saw him look at his phone. His co-worker next to him asked who that was. He replied, "Just this fat chick I know." FML
Today, my cute coworker begged me to cover his shift tomorrow, and told me that he wanted to take me to dinner to make up for it. I was very excited because I've been crushing on him for a long time. I later overheard him tell his friend that he didn't plan on showing up for our dinner. FML
Today, I called out of work, making an elaborate claim my wife was sick, and that I HAD to stay home to take care of her, because I have never played hooky from work before. That afternoon, at a minor league hockey game as I'm buying a hotdog with my wife, my boss from behind me asked, "How's the fam?" FML
Today, I accidentally said, "Bye, love you," to a co-worker as I clocked out. Before I made it home, I had six missed calls and a long text from my co-worker professing her love to me. FML
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Top comments
Jimboom 12
Noo, he obviously picked up the phone and pretended to be speaking to his wife... heck he probably made up the wife thing to because he was embarrassed. Cause you know, everyone must think you are as good looking as you obviously do. :-P
tpea 1
This seems to happen to me a lot. :$
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Comments (105)
tpea 1
This seems to happen to me a lot. :$
sheribb 5
hahahaha poor you!!!
Mauskau 36
WTF is happy hour?!
aholeguy 0
cheaper drinks = happy hour
nond2nv 4
YDI for knowing he was married and thinking he would talk to someone besides his wife like that.
BethiiGeex 0
38..how did she know it was his wife? maybe she SAW him on the PHONE and thought it was his wife.
cantfightfate 0
yeah that's embarressing. I hate when I respond to people who weren't talking to me in the first place. damn you bluetooths!!
MissErikaHart 0
41, if the man is married his ring is usually a dead giveaway so I agree with 38, that she prob knew and shouldn't be trying to talk to sum1 like that
BethiiGeex 0
not all couples wear there rings.
Brittneyyyy 7
I worked at a store and people would always come through my line on their bluetooths and it always took me a minute to realize it. People who use bluetooths always look crazy like they're talking to themselves. This FML is totally something that would happen to me though :/
TheIrishJaneDoe 9
Beth, your proposal is possible, but not probable. People don't typically make the jump from "sweet talk on the phone" to "wife" without some other evidence; I'd think guessing that he was speaking to a girlfriend or significant other is more likely, in that case. Maybe she didn't know he was married beforehand, though. OP could've overheard some reference to, say, picking up the kids, after she'd embarrassed herself. That would give her reason to think he was speaking to his wife, and still excuse her misunderstanding as innocent rather than conniving.
Mylees 0
did someone ask what happy hour is? lol. oh my lord. I'm surprised how little some people know
UnluckyDom 0
28 ..,
hahafylop 4
71 - I know right? I'm not even old enough to drink and even I know what happy hour is. :D
hawaiiroots808 0
haha me too (:
briannak91 0
loser..
todo350 0
i live in sydney, been to newcastle plenty of times D: small world...
Thawn 0
I live an hour from newy. been there heaps also. I ain't a creeper though
briannak91 0
hmmmkk
qwerty8788 4
second
Timmo_fml 2
Fail. Twat.
LTFlames 0
XD u fail
jakii_ 0
you were close
z620 0
your third but you said second, therefore you lose. Go to hell.
brey_fml 0
lol :b
Jimboom 12
Noo, he obviously picked up the phone and pretended to be speaking to his wife... heck he probably made up the wife thing to because he was embarrassed. Cause you know, everyone must think you are as good looking as you obviously do. :-P
Smyth 3
it's times like those where you just run. as fast as you can. no, don't look back keep running.
Currentlyonfire 4
I'm sure you would know all about that buddy.
icanspellgud 0
45- you, sir, win.
deafeningsilence 8
56- your picture is amazing<3
yanayo 0
lol
sculp91 0
loo
Smeagol648 0
lol your profile picture
alexbeathalo2 4
#5 your an idiot
testosticor 4
maybe you shouldn't call him an idiot when sarcasm flies over your head. :)
Igor_g5 0
Agreed.
Igor_g5 0
my agreed was for 22
Trollz4daLULZ 2
...OR when you confuse "your" and "you're". It's not rocket science, you tardling.
TheIrishJaneDoe 9
Hehe, tardling.
mintcar 10
You shouldn't skip work because of your fail.
smile031008 0
hahaha should hav look behind