Today, at work, I met a new client for the first time. Apparently he thought it would be a good idea to get drunk beforehand and spend the whole appointment telling me about his 9-inch "drill bit." I have to try and find this guy a job. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I had a job interview with a man that I got drunk with at a bar on Saturday night. He spent an hour telling me things I did that I don't even remember. FML
Today, I overheard my boss talking about me on the phone. Turns out he was drunk off his ass when he gave the go-ahead to hire me, and he's now searching for any excuse to legally fire me. FML
Today, my boss sent me to a meeting with a client I've never met to do some damage control and renegotiate his contract. For two hours, he alternated between threatening to sue us, and making vulgar comments about raping me in his office. FML
Today, I had to have a word with my boss about how him coming into work drunk is probably not a very good idea. FML
Today, a customer bought several drill bits. When I asked him, "Do you want a bag for your bits?" he just stared at me uncomfortably, apparently thinking I was trying to come onto him. FML
Today, I showed up to my new job early, hoping to impress my new boss. When he arrived, he walked by me and muttered, "Fucking tryhard." FML
Today, I met one of my company's big clients. The second he stepped into my office, the room filled with a stink like a thousand dirty jockstraps piled inside a filthy gas station bathroom. After he left, I commented on it to my boss. I was told that I would be meeting him at least three times a week. FML
Today, I started training as a bartender. My very first client told me how his wife is sleeping with her sister's husband. He then told me that all the women he knows only want sex, and asked me why "we" were like that. He could be my dad. FML
Today, I started my job as a driving instructor. My first client showed up piss drunk. FML
Today, my new boss asked me to handle a very difficult client, warning me that, "He's kind of a dick." My accidental response? "That's fine, I'm great at handling dicks." FML
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Top comments
Jimster1712 0
Hmm, 9 inch drill bits, that must be hard to find in your local hardware store, interesting conversation you had there.
Blueglasscup 18
Male prostitute?
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Comments (112)
YdoIhaveAchode 4
You shoulda let him drill you
Dodie__fml 2
Accept the invitation... ;)
Madiluvsyuh98 2
Hes lying he dont have a 9 inch
fatraptorjesus13 9
just cause your boyfriend has a 3 inch one doesn't mean no bigger ones exist
Madiluvsyuh98 2
Thats kind of impossible...
tylersign 11
Uh, no. Neither of those are impossible. Thanks for playing.
ShyAnn29 15
Hey my first was 9 inches, so yes they do exist!
EnEl_Infierno 15
Haha, n not so Shy their are we Ann. :P
ShyAnn29 15
62, I guess not! Lol ;)
Jaxx66 21
Lol it's not impossible. I knew a guy who had one. He tried doing something with me is why I know. The size scared me o.o so I turned him down xD.
Madiluvsyuh98 2
46- i mean 3 inchers unless theyre on a kid
zojieeu 6
So how big is your boyfriends dong?
Madiluvsyuh98 2
6.7
ThatOneCanadian 0
how do you know? did you check?
HomeAl0ne 20
I guess I could make mine be 9" if I tried real hard, but I'm not folding it in half for anybody.
Madiluvsyuh98 2
84- duh what else would you think?
Omgpwned1234 0
FML, where ****** can brag about their bf's penis sizes but not have any grammar/spelling skills.
Omgpwned1234 0
FML, where ****** can brag about their bf's penis sizes but not have any grammar/spelling skills.
Nikki_ASW 0
83 You're fourteen, stop trying to be so cool over the internet. You're just embarrassing yourself.
Madiluvsyuh98 2
Im not trying to be cool?? Dont flatter yourself
Nikki_ASW 0
Clearly you are, so please just stop.
mominzed 19
Why don't you employ him at your home as a home-help. He seems to be a handyman. And of course, he'll bring his own tools.
capt_awesome1 11
stripper/ prostitute ?
ThatOneCanadian 0
hardware store! i never find those 9 inch drill bits when i need them
RebekahBrooke 9
I really hope you can get outta that one... :/
rein 8
with such qualifications, I predict it would take a long while to find a job for him. you have a hard task at hand op. good luck!
skinthesnakes 6
find him a job as a drillbit
rattusrattus 19
Carpentry. They will be pleased that he can provide his own drillbit.