Today, at work, I met a new client for the first time. Apparently he thought it would be a good idea to get drunk beforehand and spend the whole appointment telling me about his 9-inch "drill bit." I have to try and find this guy a job. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I had a job interview with a man that I got drunk with at a bar on Saturday night. He spent an hour telling me things I did that I don't even remember. FML
Today, I overheard my boss talking about me on the phone. Turns out he was drunk off his ass when he gave the go-ahead to hire me, and he's now searching for any excuse to legally fire me. FML
Today, my boss sent me to a meeting with a client I've never met to do some damage control and renegotiate his contract. For two hours, he alternated between threatening to sue us, and making vulgar comments about raping me in his office. FML
Today, I had to have a word with my boss about how him coming into work drunk is probably not a very good idea. FML
Today, a customer bought several drill bits. When I asked him, "Do you want a bag for your bits?" he just stared at me uncomfortably, apparently thinking I was trying to come onto him. FML
Today, I showed up to my new job early, hoping to impress my new boss. When he arrived, he walked by me and muttered, "Fucking tryhard." FML
Today, I met one of my company's big clients. The second he stepped into my office, the room filled with a stink like a thousand dirty jockstraps piled inside a filthy gas station bathroom. After he left, I commented on it to my boss. I was told that I would be meeting him at least three times a week. FML
Today, I started training as a bartender. My very first client told me how his wife is sleeping with her sister's husband. He then told me that all the women he knows only want sex, and asked me why "we" were like that. He could be my dad. FML
Today, I started my job as a driving instructor. My first client showed up piss drunk. FML
Today, my new boss asked me to handle a very difficult client, warning me that, "He's kind of a dick." My accidental response? "That's fine, I'm great at handling dicks." FML
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Top comments
Jimster1712 0
Hmm, 9 inch drill bits, that must be hard to find in your local hardware store, interesting conversation you had there.
Blueglasscup 18
Male prostitute?
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Comments (112)
leadman1989 16
Nine inch drill bit? Makes sense because he's a tool!
teh_uber_muffin 3
Win.
leadman1989 16
I was shocked, shocked I tells ya, when I saw nobody said this. I guess I'm just "delightfully tacky, yet unrefined". :)
Avanel 0
Is his name Taylor?
pixelebrate 0
Wow interesting convo OP. Did you tell him his new job is a stripper?
VickLynx 6
Isn't there a job as a ''drill bit''?
Enslaved 38
I wanna **** you like an animal I wanna feel you from the inside I wanna **** you like an animal My whole existence is flawed You get me closer to God! Am I the only one singing "Nine Inch Nails-Closer" after reading this FML?
ThreeSheetsGone 12
Yes. Yes you are.
mattsan1992 0
Yes you are
mattsan1992 0
God dammit number 50
leadman1989 16
Not anymore, lol, but for some strange reason I'm sining sober. XP Either way this guy was a huge dick for doing what he did.
GardeningHoes 0
This post made me think I was going to be sexually assaulted
HappyPickles 11
Well, getting drunk for an interview and talking about drill bits the whole time makes him sound like a tool - so you could try getting him a job as a builder. But personally, I would send him along to try out as a male stripper - if he really has a 9 inch dong, he should do fine - but if he was ... "stretching the truth" ... as so many braggart guys do, then I'm sure the interviewers will take him down a couple of notches.
Enigmax2514 7
How about A construction worker? His drill will most certainly be useful.... Oh wait.....
coatnaynay 4
Perhaps in the **** business?
tjamurphy 5
.
GoneClubbin 9
Give him a job as the local male prostitute
techweed 12
Drillbit Taylor is only 9-in tall?? Weird!!!