Today, working as a nurse, I asked a 61-year-old patient if he did any physical activity. His reply was, "Well, I do masturbate a lot". He then went on to describe the various techniques he uses. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my husband and I were fooling around in the shower. For some reason, I thought it'd be a good idea to grab his man meat and show him how to wash someone at a nursing home. He said he'd never be turned on by a nurse again. I'm a nurse. FML
Today, I visited my sick grandpa for a few hours in the hospital. His roommate, also an elderly man, wouldn't stop masturbating. FML
Today, I went to the Doctors and the nurse asked if I was married, in which I responded "yes". Then she asked if I was sexually active... "no". FML
Today, I went to the doctor for my yearly checkup. After getting my blood-pressure taken, my finger pricked, etc, the doctor began to ask me some questions. When asked if I was sexually active, I responded "Yes". The doctor started laughing. FML
Today, I had to feed an elderly man in the care home in which I work while he was whacking off. Our work policy states that I have to pretend not to notice. FML
Today, my parents sent me to the hospital because they thought I had diabetes. One of the symptoms is that you a pee a lot. The only reason I go to the bathroom so often is so I can masturbate. FML
Today, I volunteered at a nursing home. I approached a lonely, old man who had a type of nervous tick. I went over to speak to him, and not even four sentences into our conversation he says, "I'd really like to make love to you." What I thought was a tick was actually him stroking himself. FML
Today, I asked my husband, of only a year, why we don't have sex anymore. He said it's because he masturbates. When I asked how often he did it, he replied "Every day that we don't have sex..." FML
Today, I went to the doctor because I broke my wrist. My mom told the nurse that I broke it while masturbating. FML
Today, I walked in on my wife masturbating. Naturally, I asked her if she needed some help. She replied, "Nah, I've got this." FML
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Top comments
RouletteRed 6
He's builing up those arms! =D
iAmScrubs 19
Wait for him to demonstrate the interpretive dance masturbation.
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Comments (89)
makenaaa 0
If you're a nurse, then isn't that normal to hear?
pinkredneck30 2
Classic!
Pufferfish78 5
I'd use gloves when touching his sheets!
ReynieRockets 1
can i have some techniques?
cypher83 0
As a fellow medical field employee. I feel your pain.
KaelaKhaotic 5
Did you get turned on?
andre5006 2
I only know one technique you mind sharing?
ngarcia333 0
Really??? Try doing it with two rocks! That's the best for me
Raheemdplayer 7
Ugh, and if that was me, my brains would immediately have dirty images in my head that would haunt me the whole day. FYL
crw817 3
I don't see what the problem is, your a nurse.
sailorfreak_fml 4
we all know you wanted to ask ;]