Today, working as a nurse, I asked a 61-year-old patient if he did any physical activity. His reply was, "Well, I do masturbate a lot". He then went on to describe the various techniques he uses. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my husband and I were fooling around in the shower. For some reason, I thought it'd be a good idea to grab his man meat and show him how to wash someone at a nursing home. He said he'd never be turned on by a nurse again. I'm a nurse. FML
Today, I visited my sick grandpa for a few hours in the hospital. His roommate, also an elderly man, wouldn't stop masturbating. FML
Today, I went to the Doctors and the nurse asked if I was married, in which I responded "yes". Then she asked if I was sexually active... "no". FML
Today, I went to the doctor for my yearly checkup. After getting my blood-pressure taken, my finger pricked, etc, the doctor began to ask me some questions. When asked if I was sexually active, I responded "Yes". The doctor started laughing. FML
Today, I had to feed an elderly man in the care home in which I work while he was whacking off. Our work policy states that I have to pretend not to notice. FML
Today, my parents sent me to the hospital because they thought I had diabetes. One of the symptoms is that you a pee a lot. The only reason I go to the bathroom so often is so I can masturbate. FML
Today, I volunteered at a nursing home. I approached a lonely, old man who had a type of nervous tick. I went over to speak to him, and not even four sentences into our conversation he says, "I'd really like to make love to you." What I thought was a tick was actually him stroking himself. FML
Today, I asked my husband, of only a year, why we don't have sex anymore. He said it's because he masturbates. When I asked how often he did it, he replied "Every day that we don't have sex..." FML
Today, I went to the doctor because I broke my wrist. My mom told the nurse that I broke it while masturbating. FML
Today, I walked in on my wife masturbating. Naturally, I asked her if she needed some help. She replied, "Nah, I've got this." FML
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Top comments
RouletteRed 6
He's builing up those arms! =D
iAmScrubs 19
Wait for him to demonstrate the interpretive dance masturbation.
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Comments (89)
ThreeSheetsGone 12
Did he name all the different techniques he uses and/or demonstrate them?
ngarcia333 0
Dude love ur pic!
ThreeSheetsGone 12
Thanks. Just say KNOW!
loserman67 36
Hey physical activity is physical activity - good for him - did you offer to lend him a hand if he ever needed one? If he can tug and fire at 61, maybe you need to give this guy a tumble - you may like it and/or learn a thing or two. Remember, age and experience usually triumphs over youth and enthusiasm!
Buzzy123 7
Is he a lefty or righty?
maz_irken 6
Gir picture FTW!
dragonwarrior 3
Hey at least he is doing some physical activity
bigguy123456 2
He Wante to score with u;)
perdix 31
Did he come in complaining of tennis elbow? For daily wanking, if he switches to a Continental grip, he'll recover quickly and continue having a ball. He should use the semi-Western for jelqing.
Battle765 4
This gives me hope!
phil68w 5
Welcome to the medical field!
aron33 2
At least share us some of his techinques. I once used a plastic bag with a towel in it but it didn't really give me pleasure. Also, even though I'm right handed I use my left hand to wank so I can surf the web while doing it.
unsuccesfulmastu 4
Holy shit me to!
malignantmegan 3
Lol try making a cup of noodles, drain out the water, and cut a hole in the bottom. Lol never judge a book by it's cover v.v I learned that the hard way
mama8809 0
Go grandpa go
tj4234 36
OP should have 'worked out' with him!