Today, whilst reading all 15 pages of this site, my French girlfriend asked me over my shoulder for translations, such as "What is buttsex?", "What is wanking?", and "What means farted?" FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my girlfriend, who recently started French classes, and I were having sex. Knowing how whispering in my ear turns me on, she whispered something in French, and I came. Later I found out it meant something like, "You should lose a lot of weight." FML
Today, I went to my room to find my girlfriend on the floor, butt up, with her pants down. I elatedly took the invitation and dropped my pants too, only for her to tell me, "Not so fast champ, I'm trying to force some farts out." FML
Today, I realised the only preparation I've done for my final French exam has been wanking off to French porn. FML
Today, I taught my girlfriend some French. She then used her newfound language to break up with me. FML
Today, while naked, my fiancée said there was something wrong with her butt. She turned around and I leaned in to look at it. She then farted in my face. On purpose. FML
Today, I was spooning with my girlfriend. She fell asleep and spent the next 15 minutes farting on me. FML
Today, I began taking a French language class. After completing and submitting some homework, I got a response. A response that was completely in French. I can't understand shit. FML
Today, in the middle of sex, my girlfriend asked me, "Are you sure you're a guy?" I still have no idea what that was for. FML
Today, my girlfriend told me what turns her on: cheese. FML
Today, I had to go with my mom to the gynecologist to translate due to her broken English. As we were filling out papers and answering questions, the doctor asked some very personal questions. I now know everything about my mom's sex life. FML
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Top comments
Eladar 0
when she asked what buttsex was... you should have been like "i'll show you"
nuclear 0
whoa, whoa, whoa. you read ALL 15 pages of this site while you were hanging out with your girlfriend? Instead of doing something else.. more productive? FYL! Nah, more like FHL. That must have been boring since she couldn't really understand :P
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Comments (81)
ceuti 7
haha you should of told her "o come over to my house and ill show you" teehee
wren415 0
You mean he should HAVE told her... Also, she was reading over his shoulder. They were already together.
Rach_star 0
How is this an FML?
Phelpski 0
How is the an FML??? Shoulda just showed her... hahaha
Moemoemoe_fml 0
#3 Are you a complete moron? English isn't her primary language. Do YOU know how to say fart in French, or would you understand the word if you encountered it?
Loosechange 0
No offense even though you should take offense French people suck and should not be alive or cleansed so they forget french.
matt643 0
why was she not in the kitchen making sandwiches???
FYLSLOWLY 0
Why aren't u at a bar somewhere breaking a glass bottle over your head?
bballchamp43 0
ppl with te FML username loosechange shud b killed 4 thinking that all French ppl shud b killed
mad2physicist 0
'Fart' is the only word in the English language that I find offensive. It is just disgusting and onomatopoetic. On the main subject, I don't see why this is a big deal? It could get better if she starts asking for hands-on demonstrations of 'doggie style' and such!
marisalee 0
Wren 415 do you have a life? Or do you just sit on your fat ass and criticise other people's FML's and look at some gay fairy pictures.
_Ama_Lia_V_ 0
Of Course You Think Badly About French People...You Live In Canada! Problamo Solved ^.^