Today, I had to go with my mom to the gynecologist to translate due to her broken English. As we were filling out papers and answering questions, the doctor asked some very personal questions. I now know everything about my mom's sex life. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Same thing different taste
Checklist
Today, I went to the doctor for a checkup. The doctor went through the normal questions, then paused for a moment and jotted something down. Later when I got back my report from the checkup, I noticed that the doctor had checked the "no" box by "sexually active." She didn't even ask me that. FML
Today, I had to go to the hospital. While I was there, my mom started hitting on a doctor. Later I saw them making out in the room next to me. FML
Stop talking, stop talking now
Today, I went out of town with my mother-in-law. I don't know what possessed her to start questioning me about her son's and my sex life. When I told her I wasn't talking about that, she began to discuss her and my father-in-law's bedroom habits. The car ride was two hours. FML
The longest monologue
Today, I was waiting in a doctor's office when I was approached by an elderly woman. She told me all about the ripping of her stitches in a very private place, in exhaustive detail. Of course, today was the day my doctor chose to be an hour late. FML
Not a good sign
Today, I went to see my gynecologist. She was writing my symptoms up in my chart on her computer. After a little while, I noticed that she had a confused look on her face and was reading something instead. When I took a peek at the computer screen, I saw that she was Googling my symptoms. FML
Today, I went to the doctor for my yearly checkup. After getting my blood-pressure taken, my finger pricked, etc, the doctor began to ask me some questions. When asked if I was sexually active, I responded "Yes". The doctor started laughing. FML
Today, I found out that the guy I've been sleeping with is my mom's gynecologist. FML
Today, I went to my gynecologist's for a check-up. After the doctor checked me I went to the bathroom. It turns out the walls aren't soundproofed, because I could hear the doctor telling his assistant, "God! How did she ever find a husband?" FML
Today, while sitting at a red light, my mother asked, "Do you have any intimacy questions?" FML
Revelation time
Today, I found out that my mom had read my diary because she was worried. She now knows details about my depression, details about my sex life, such as how I lost my virginity, to whom (I don't have a boyfriend), and what condition I was in at the time (drunk as a duck). She also showed my dad. FML
Top comments
plaguer 26
She was probably just as embarrassed.
yoimtrollin 24
These are the kind of things that stay with you for the rest of your life. Sorry you had to hear that OP
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (78)
yoimtrollin 24
These are the kind of things that stay with you for the rest of your life. Sorry you had to hear that OP
HouseElf 13
OP most likely had to repeat it too ^_^
Kallian_fml 21
My mother always told me the best way to remember things is to repeat them straight away. :)
klaralynn 17
7, your picture works perfectly for your comment
dakatabg 31
Now you know what is going on
rinblack1612 10
what does OP mean??
manowarkidd 8
original poster
plaguer 26
She was probably just as embarrassed.
fareith 15
Knowing women, if she was embarrassed she would have simply lied..
skittlestrailmix 14
Op should realize that she did a wonderful thing helping her mother out and ensuring she is healthy and getting the best care possible.
skittlestrailmix 14
As embarrassing as it was for both of them it was a kind thing to do.
Welshite 40
You are a good son/daughter, OP. Props for helping your mother out.
SirTalkaton 22
Bummer OP. Nice of you to help out your mom in a tight situation though
mystashisgone 6
Tight situation... Lol. I see what you did there, and gross. According to the fml there is prolly nothing tight about it.(puke)
allie2590 31
18 - How about no? It came across as a pretty innocent comment to me. Plus, there's nothing in this fml that indicates OP's mom is "loose." For all you know, it's possible she's only ever slept with OP's father.
lilhellian 27
She sleeps with him enough she will become loose.
allie2590 31
Trufax.
cloudsofneon 5
That's completely incorrect. Having sex with the same person for an extended period of time does not make you loose. If that's what you think though, you must not plan on ever getting married.
sabbyheartswhat 23
I'll help you because no one else seems to want to. They mean loose as in the state of the vaj being loose, floppy, no tread left on the tires, throwing a hot dog down a hallway, etc. etc... They don't mean loose as in she'll start going around bang bang banging...
ECSch 2
Or, perhaps, since it's a primarily muscle-based organ with a mucosal membrane layer, the ****** doesn't actually get loose with regular use? It's not even persistent space when there's nothing inside the canal, it's just potential space, which is why speculums are needed to view it. Real physiology > misogynistic, sex-shaming myths.
flockz 20
so... does she do more shlonging than you?
bamagrl410 31
That's a very kind thing of you to do. I don't even like talking to the doctor about my own body in that regard.
pistachiopanda 19
Bonding with your mother at it's finest... Try binaural beats to keep the nightmares at bay
RodzillaX 30
No more locked doors!
RodzillaX 30
No more locked doors!
RodzillaX 30
Well it could've been worse. Don't ask me how though.
Welshite 40
How the heck did you manage three posts in two minutes?
zandalee 20
Doggies on speed!