Today, my girlfriend, who recently started French classes, and I were having sex. Knowing how whispering in my ear turns me on, she whispered something in French, and I came. Later I found out it meant something like, "You should lose a lot of weight." FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my girlfriend were having sex. When I finished, she whispered in my ear, "30 seconds." FML
Today, I taught my girlfriend some French. She then used her newfound language to break up with me. FML
Today, while in the shower with my girlfriend she was going on and on about how she thinks she's fat when she's in perfect shape. With what she said still on my mind, I meant to say "honey, you're so beautiful", but accidentally said "honey, you're so fat". I'll be sleeping alone tonight. FML
Today, my husband discovered that whispering anything in my ear will turn me on. He turned to me and whispered 'cheeseburger' in my ear. Unfortunately, I moaned. Now he now laughs about it with our roommate. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I were getting intimate in the bed for the first time. Halfway through the session, she slowly leaned over to my ear, thinking she was going to say something dirty. Instead, she decided to let out a long burp because she thought it was "cute". FML
Today, I was trying to be sexy and change in front of my boyfriend. As I was changing, he started to talk to me about how we should both try and lose weight. FML
Today, my girlfriend said that we should try something new. I got excited because I thought it would be about sex. Nope, she wanted me to start speaking with animal noises so we could build up a secret language. FML
Today, as my wife and I were getting intimate, I thought I would try a little "dirty talk". I whispered in her ear that I would "dick her down good". She couldn't stop laughing. FML
Today, whilst reading all 15 pages of this site, my French girlfriend asked me over my shoulder for translations, such as "What is buttsex?", "What is wanking?", and "What means farted?" FML
Today, I was doing it with my girlfriend. Trying to be sexy, I moaned her name. She replied, "What?" FML
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Top comments
xJC77x 0
Did it still turn you on?
lolorly 0
Your name is "gleefan" and you have a girlfriend?
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Comments (109)
xJC77x 0
Did it still turn you on?
Thebloodygore 0
She recently started having French classes, meaning she isn't an expert. Perhaps she meant something else but it came out wrong.
xJC77x 0
Seems like a pretty straight forward statement, and I doubt you can *accidentally* say that lol.
WTF_FML_FTW 0
#1 this fml turned me me on. to the fact that fml can have dramatic stuff in it.
KiwiLime 0
agreed with #6. she shouldn't be able to say that if she just started. you sure it wasn't something like, "je voudrais mange un pizza"?
DocBastard 40
This isn't an FML for two simple reasons: 1) You have a girlfriend, despite your weight 2) Said girlfriend still wants to dance the horizontal mambo with you So live it up, fat boy!
DocBastard 40
Oops- fat girl, I should say. This FML just got hotter...
zinoxity 23
OP is a chick right? That just turned me on.
St0n3r0d1um 0
Depends in how long she have studdied french, because they r a lots of differences between "je voudrais manger une pizza" and "tu devrais perdre du poids"
andruha1123 5
maybe she meant to say something like, "you have a fat dick"?
andruha1123 5
38... oh shit dam gays messing with my comments :(
Intoxicunt 6
@39 *steps out of the way for inevitable headshot*
alexarose 0
well, obviously, since at the time he came.
swimchic007 0
At least she didn't say hamburger like in that other fml... :)
gohabs21 0
YDI for not making me a sammich
megamandude455 10
is the op a lesbian? HOTT!!!!!!
megamandude455 10
38, I believe shemales are chicks with dicks
th3b0ss 0
and u came to that...
Brittney_E 0
she shouldve said 'hamburger' (:
bigredmonkeybutt 30
Lots of people get off on being humiliated. You're 1 of them. So what?
Itzy02 0
hamburger lol.
Zigma_fml 0
Wasn't there another "whispering turns me on" girl here? They should get together...
MearaRocks 0
can i just point out that this FML was written by Gleegan116 and that he's a girl? I call on fake.
hypnos_fml 0
it's actually gleeFan not gleegan... perfectly reasonable name for a girl..
GetInMyManGina 0
#6 is sexy =]
englishhottiexx 0
this FML says "my girlfriend" but then it says that the op was a girl. what's up with that?
Freeze_fml 17
It means she's a lesbian. Your thinking process. What's up with that?
quite_bored 9
Uhh 44, I'm pretty sure girls can come...
btrfly8888 0
I think u need to study english. u said studdied along with many other grammar mistakes
jjxbby5665 0
lmaoo
LuCanO 0
# 45 You made me laugh so hard, I read that one too. And who says girls can't cum huh? Yes she is a girl and yes she can cum if she is turned on enough.
ImmortalKratos 0
any one else fine it extremely erotic that it's two chick doing it? even if one of them is a BBw. still pretty hot
TheGalwaySpirit 20
OP is a girl
I2HomlessGuys 0
lol epic you got owned but it's still kinda sad
zoe7day 0
AGREE. It's funny though, thanks for making me lol...
anorexicbarbie 8
And?
OmgO_o 0
b I t c h! you should learn another language and tell her something that she won't understand either (; she how she likes it,, XD
lolorly 0
Your name is "gleefan" and you have a girlfriend?
QWERTYCommander 5
The OP is a lesbian, her name says she's a woman.
happymollie 0
i would date a guy who likes glee. that would turn me on.
ImmortalKratos 0
unfortunately a guy who likes glee wouldn't date you cuz he'd be gay
shadowdragon0820 20
the post said that she came. How!?!?
MarkTheMintMan 21
114-you must be new to the subject of sex
T1A2Z3 35
I thought Glee was like a super gay show? Wouldn't that make sense...? Is OP a guy? I didn't get that impression...
joanjett 0
hahahahahahaha ydi for not checking google translator first
joanjett 0
oh wait whoops i didnt notice shes the one that sed it so fyl
englishhottiexx 0
what girl would say she came? why didn't she say she had an orgassim?
LissaMccracken 23
#77... a lot of girls say that?
Spierdalaj 7
So..?
infamouszzdesi92 0
lol epic
FyourLIFEdotCOM8 0
well either you should lose some weight or she meant to say something else but IRS most likely the second one.
FmyLinNY 0
I know IRS not even that big a deal anyway.
Schizomaniac 24
19, why do you have a picture of someone who isn't you posted?
sourgirl101 29
Maybe he's the photographer and he's showing off his work. (:
Schizomaniac 24
I highly doubt that. But it's a possibility. :/
BagleHead 6
19, you tottaly showed up all the asshats with their abbs as their photos
ImmortalKratos 0
leave the girl alone she obviously meant to type it's but missed the t and hit the r. and her phone capitalized it.
EmilyIsLHAO 0
I swear this was posted before or something like it?!?