Today, whilst reading all 15 pages of this site, my French girlfriend asked me over my shoulder for translations, such as "What is buttsex?", "What is wanking?", and "What means farted?" FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my girlfriend, who recently started French classes, and I were having sex. Knowing how whispering in my ear turns me on, she whispered something in French, and I came. Later I found out it meant something like, "You should lose a lot of weight." FML
Today, I went to my room to find my girlfriend on the floor, butt up, with her pants down. I elatedly took the invitation and dropped my pants too, only for her to tell me, "Not so fast champ, I'm trying to force some farts out." FML
Today, I realised the only preparation I've done for my final French exam has been wanking off to French porn. FML
Today, I taught my girlfriend some French. She then used her newfound language to break up with me. FML
Today, while naked, my fiancée said there was something wrong with her butt. She turned around and I leaned in to look at it. She then farted in my face. On purpose. FML
Today, I was spooning with my girlfriend. She fell asleep and spent the next 15 minutes farting on me. FML
Today, I began taking a French language class. After completing and submitting some homework, I got a response. A response that was completely in French. I can't understand shit. FML
Today, in the middle of sex, my girlfriend asked me, "Are you sure you're a guy?" I still have no idea what that was for. FML
Today, my girlfriend told me what turns her on: cheese. FML
Today, I had to go with my mom to the gynecologist to translate due to her broken English. As we were filling out papers and answering questions, the doctor asked some very personal questions. I now know everything about my mom's sex life. FML
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Top comments
Eladar 0
when she asked what buttsex was... you should have been like "i'll show you"
nuclear 0
whoa, whoa, whoa. you read ALL 15 pages of this site while you were hanging out with your girlfriend? Instead of doing something else.. more productive? FYL! Nah, more like FHL. That must have been boring since she couldn't really understand :P
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Comments (81)
Eladar 0
when she asked what buttsex was... you should have been like "i'll show you"
chippa 24
Hahahah, Eladar, winnnn.
thecman25 14
Dumbass of 2014 goes tooooo.............................
reader5567 19
I live for this comment.
xMooMoox 0
Lol since when does "fart" have to do with interesting conversations! That made me laugh so did #4!
kathira120 3
your profile pic is gorgeous! cute dog. :3 anyway OP I'm really sorry haha that's awkward
nellieelectron 0
kathira120, I want your last name. Hell, I want your life you lucky liverpool girl!!! BEATLES FOR THE WIN.
lostguy 0
#4 is win!!
24788 7
Lol, just say you don't want to know.
monkeyz0r 0
what means farted? hahaha
nuclear 0
whoa, whoa, whoa. you read ALL 15 pages of this site while you were hanging out with your girlfriend? Instead of doing something else.. more productive? FYL! Nah, more like FHL. That must have been boring since she couldn't really understand :P
Unfunktional 0
I would FYL...
IPityTheFool 0
I would just **** her, not her life
cindayy77 0
^ your pic is a win xD
Peachoune_fml 0
I'm French too, I just didn't understand "wank". ^^ On apprend plein de vocabulaire intéressant... =)
brie3 0
So true. English slang is frickin' weird...
RedheadCutiee 0
Je peux parler français aussi! :) Juste pensé que je partagerais ça.
MadameLaura 2
ca veut dire masturber. et wanker c'est branleur.
ItsJustMe17 9
What the crap.... yea I'm american. I have NO idea what u just said.... and I grew up with American slang so it makes sense to me, just like what you grew up with makes sense to you
fmlizdabest 0
aaaallllooooo :)
punkchica123 0
it means male masturbation
dragonstrike94 8
Wank is England English
StingRay_RZA 16
J'habite en Angleterre et je parle français aussi!!! This conversation is winning!!! "Branleur"?? That's a new word...
vooper 0
I agree wholehartedly with number four. "I can show you wanking too"
LordLayAlot 0
Well I didn't know what wanking meant until just now, but then again I'm American, we aren't known for being cultured, LOL.
PumpkinTarte 0
You look a bit like Adam Sandler. A lot, actually!