Today, whilst reading all 15 pages of this site, my French girlfriend asked me over my shoulder for translations, such as "What is buttsex?", "What is wanking?", and "What means farted?" FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my girlfriend, who recently started French classes, and I were having sex. Knowing how whispering in my ear turns me on, she whispered something in French, and I came. Later I found out it meant something like, "You should lose a lot of weight." FML
Today, I went to my room to find my girlfriend on the floor, butt up, with her pants down. I elatedly took the invitation and dropped my pants too, only for her to tell me, "Not so fast champ, I'm trying to force some farts out." FML
Today, I realised the only preparation I've done for my final French exam has been wanking off to French porn. FML
Today, I taught my girlfriend some French. She then used her newfound language to break up with me. FML
Today, while naked, my fiancée said there was something wrong with her butt. She turned around and I leaned in to look at it. She then farted in my face. On purpose. FML
Today, I was spooning with my girlfriend. She fell asleep and spent the next 15 minutes farting on me. FML
Today, I began taking a French language class. After completing and submitting some homework, I got a response. A response that was completely in French. I can't understand shit. FML
Today, in the middle of sex, my girlfriend asked me, "Are you sure you're a guy?" I still have no idea what that was for. FML
Today, my girlfriend told me what turns her on: cheese. FML
Today, I had to go with my mom to the gynecologist to translate due to her broken English. As we were filling out papers and answering questions, the doctor asked some very personal questions. I now know everything about my mom's sex life. FML
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Top comments
Eladar 0
when she asked what buttsex was... you should have been like "i'll show you"
nuclear 0
whoa, whoa, whoa. you read ALL 15 pages of this site while you were hanging out with your girlfriend? Instead of doing something else.. more productive? FYL! Nah, more like FHL. That must have been boring since she couldn't really understand :P
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Comments (81)
sugarquill 0
What means farted? LOL!!
never2late88 0
k not all canadian ppl think badly about french ppl, your just as bad as him, i happen to be canadian and i think french ppl are awesome
ItsJustMe17 9
BAHAHAAA!!!!
writergirl69 0
To #35+#43, what does "ppl" mean? "Te"? Pretty much your entire comments? Does "I" have a different meaning when lowercased? Could anyone translate their comments into English, for people like me who don't know that language? (No, I'm not actually that stupid, I'm being sarcastic. Chill.)
lakailuc 0
dang ge should of said " it's what were about to do.
FYLSLOWLY 0
Your gf doesnt know what farting is? **** her life, and the rock she's been living under!
TehGirreth 0
47, you're pro. Funny thing is, Canada is part French and part English. So apparently some Canadians hate themselves.
peaceful505 0
theres a french version in the app store search: vdm
gumhair 2
VDM = Vie De Merde, it literally means life of shit and you can translate it shit life. It was created before FML.
phuckejiu 3
lame
jabee8 0
Hey im french too :D i always ask my english boyfriend those kind of questions :P ;) its not a fml at all... Its normal she wants to learn its better than act like she knows everything and stay dumb :P