Today, whilst in an argument with my girlfriend, I told her she was the craziest bitch I'd ever met. She responded with "Challenge accepted." I'm now terrified. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I proposed to my girlfriend. She promptly had a panic attack and screamed, "No!" FML
Today, I found our that my crazy ex, who, after our break up, said to me, "I'm setting my life to make yours hell" has befriended my current girlfriend. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I got into a heated argument at a house party. To avoid a huge scene, I pulled her into another room, during which I managed to trip over my feet and faceplant the floor. She shouted, "Hah! That's what you get!" Now everyone thinks she beat the shit out of me. FML
Today, I proposed to my girlfriend. She slapped me in the face, stormed out and won't answer my calls. What the hell? FML
Today, the girl I thought I was dating got into a fight with me over the phone. She did this because she bet her boyfriend that she could make me cry on FaceTime. She won the bet. FML
Today, my fiancée has been saying, "Shit's gone cray-cray" for over a week. I finally snapped. When I was done ranting, she murmured, "Baby, don't be cray-cray". FML
Today, I tried to change my usually stoic behaviour and be friendly to a coworker. Now she is convinced that I finally went insane and intend to murder her. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I were playfully arguing about who loved the other more. After about a minute of this, my girlfriend walked over and kicked me in the crotch as hard as she could. She then said, "There, now you don't love me as much. I win." FML
Today, my girlfriend and I got into a huge fight. She kicked me out of the apartment and told me to never come back. Devastated, I waited outside of the apartment door for hours, hoping she'd reconsider. I ended up falling asleep. I woke up to her foot stomping on me, screaming, "I meant it!" FML
Today, after a week of intense fighting, my girlfriend of 4 years and I hung out. She told me she loved me, and I pointed out that last week she said she was going to dump me. Without missing a beat, she replied, "Only to scare you into submission." FML
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Top comments
PowerRussia 2
YDI dude, even in an argument you shouldn't insult your girlfriend like that.
OhAidan 7
Challenge complete.
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Comments (161)
iamzikang 17
You startled the witch !
lonelyharts86 8
That's funny. Good luck to you!
mismis_fml 7
Right up my ally
Sai_Run614 7
Yea, I would think about peacing on her. Cut off ties. Hope for the best. Plan for the "crazy bitch". Possible "kit" for such planing; zombie apocalypse.
BigDogMatt 13
I think I know a few to add to the list. Lol
kimg0885 23
Ok op so here's where you went wrong: first off never call a chick crazy. Never call them a bitch either. Now use them in a sentence together... Your ******!
missbrad 4
That's some pretty good advice. You should become a marriage counsellor.
ksuth 25
If I was dating someone and he called me a crazy bitch they wouldn't be my boyfriend anymore, if they truly thought that. So you should be lucky. But also scared.
sumbody123 0
Saw this on Facebook a couple of years ago. He totally copied it.
alexlovescandy 3
I'd sleep with your eyes open for now on.