Today, I was stuck in the bathroom yelling for someone to get me toilet paper. My grandpa slips a small leaf under the door and says, "This is what I used in my day." FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I ran out of toilet paper. I yelled from the bathroom for my parents to bring me some toilet paper. My dad slipped one tiny piece of toilet paper under the door and boomed, "THE FINAL TEST." FML
Today, I took a dump without checking for toilet paper. I then called my step dad, who said "use the stuff in the garbage." FML
Today, while I was in a bathroom stall, the guy next to me asked me for toilet paper. It was then that I realized I didn't have any either. FML
Today, in desperate need of a shit, I quickly ran into a shop to buy toilet paper. I rushed home and unleashed, only to realise I'd bought paper towels. Without options, I had to wipe my ass with them and consequently blocked the toilet. I found rolls of toilet paper while looking for the plunger. FML
Today, there was no toilet paper left, so I asked my grandmother if I could use her Kleenex tissues. I found out too late that they were Vicks VapoRub tissues. My crotch has been burning for the last half hour. FML
Today, I was in a public toilet stall and realized too late that there was no toilet paper left on the roll. I had to awkwardly shuffle around in a panic, knocking on the stall walls to ask for help. The guy in the next stall over gruffly said, “Dude, be a man, just use a sock or something.” FML
Today, I was hanging out with some friends, and I had to take a dump. After I was done, I realized there was no more toilet paper, so I asked my friends to get me some. They threw in duct tape, sandpaper, and saran wrap, and told me to make a decision. FML
Today, while I was doing my hair, my grandpa walked in, dropped his pants, and started taking a crap in the toilet right next to me. FML
Today, the stall I was using didn't have any toilet paper in it. Being the immature idiot I am, I was too embarrassed to ask for someone to grab me some. So I waited 45 minutes for the bathroom to be empty and crept into the next stall, only to find it was also out of toilet paper. FML
Today, I had just sat down and taken a dump in a public restroom when I realized there was no toilet paper. I tried to discreetly call for help, but no one heard me. My only option was to text a friend and have them bring me some. The worst part? My friend ended up texting me, "You called for backup?" as I waited in humiliation. FML
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Top comments
Demonfish 14
Your grandfather is a legend! Tad cruel though :P
unknown_user5566 27
Grandparents: always there to remind us how "spoiled" they think we are.
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Comments (108)
Demonfish 14
Your grandfather is a legend! Tad cruel though :P
tacojauns 45
but where did he get the leaf?
unknown_user5566 27
55- I am sure OP has a tree somewhere near his/her house.
Demonfish 14
55- my guess, is the OP's grandfather, found the leaf, on a tree or a shrub. Radical thinking, I know, but it could be true.
TourettesGuyFTW 26
60- what are these treacherous ideas you are trying to spread? Leaf?! Trees!?
Nyahko 16
What are these "trees" you speak of
wellfuuucckme 7
59- I feel bad for you son i got 99 problems and sandy ain't one
AllThingsBright_ 11
60- I think, you used, too many, commas,.
texashater75 16
Slip him a nickel back under the door and tell him to buy some toilet paper with it and to to buy himself something nice with the change.
Demonfish 14
85- I, don't, give, a, ****.
PuggieKid 22
LOL one of my favs fml xD
unknown_user5566 27
Grandparents: always there to remind us how "spoiled" they think we are.
Roevera 14
In my family, grandparents are there to spoil us.
NeDaroft 5
In Soviet Russia, leaf slides grandpa under door.
TheOnlyX 11
What about Soviet Russia?
p3mguin 7
Your grandpop had a sense of humor, **** MY LIFE...
geon_olam 17
In your grandfather's times they probably didn't have penicillin either. You better hope he's not your primary caretaker next time you get an infection.
ClassyCommando 13
Penicillin's been used since the 1940's, so it probably was around "in his day".
geon_olam 17
87- well acc to Wikipedia, toilet paper was already quite popular by the turn of the century so Grandpa must be oooooold.
Welshite 40
He should've given you a page from a Playboy Magazine since catalogs were used as toilet paper back in the day.
unknown_user5566 27
If OP is a boy that would just distract him from his original goal, though. :)
Welshite 40
It'll occupy him long enough that someone else might cone along and give him some real toilet paper.
astoryofroses 9
I'm scared to know where he lived back then...
lolfood 24
On earth. :|
IworkAt711 14
Near a tree.
Pre_Damed 3
Super absorbent! :D
DocBastard 40
How the hell did you not notice there was no paper before you sat down? That's Restroom Rule #1 - ALWAYS check for toilet paper before you sit. I think we all know what #2 is...
Welshite 40
Read FML?
unknown_user5566 27
You've never, ever used the bathroom only to find out the toilet paper is gone? Unfortunately, I've had that happen before. I think I just expect TP to be readily available at all times, since it usually is.
Demonfish 14
Well, I don't think OP will be forgetting that golden rule again :P
TrailblazerSS 5
11 - you read it. That's what the FML is about; him/her breaking rule #1.
unknown_user5566 27
28- I believe Welshite was saying Rule #2 is to "read FML".
CallMeMcFeelii 14
I can say that I don't always look for TP when I use the restroom. At least not in my own house. The only time I absolutely make sure there is some is when I'm in a public restroom.
Futacy 30
11- It was a pun. Rule #2 >>> #2 in the bathroom.
evilplatypus 39
We buy toilet paper in bulk and keep the extras in the bathroom, under the sink. I'm confused as to why people would store their toilet paper someplace other than the bathroom. Where else would you need it?
skyeyez9 25
Oh docbastard, Don't act like you never waddled across the house with your pants and undies around your ankles to retrieve another roll of toilet paper.
sheethapins 13
~Sings~ Do the walk, baby do the walk of shame. Do tee tee do do dooo doo.
TheNewGuy03 29
Certainly sage advice, but we've all had that time when we felt that our insides would empty their contents into our trousers, and the last thing on our minds was "toilet paper." Those are usually bad days.
Ren_Uchiha 11
Unfortunately, I always forget that rule and end up waddling down the stairs with my pants half off to get some.
oj101 33
Rule #2 is to take your smartphone so you don't get bored. It's been all over the Internet in memes lately - First World Problems/ Bad Luck Brian etc when it comes to forgetting your phone and needing a dump.
TrailblazerSS 5
I misunderstood. Sorry Welshite. All I can say now is... Well, shit.
Bassmint_Stile 9
I always need toilet paper in the attic. So I store it in the garage.
kimg0885 23
Not even the Charmin bears use leaves. Sorry op. going green is tough.
TheMajesticBeard 2
Where did he get the leaf from?
ViviMage 40
Poison ivy bush!
KiddNYC1O 22
The yard?
ICastillo 25
A tree...
ambowew 7
He pulled it out of his own ******* arse.
obnum 19
...Did you seriously need to ask that? What is the world coming to!?