Today, while waiting at the park for my friend, an intoxicated tramp came up to me and asked me out. After I politely declined, he snatched the phone from my hand, threw it on the ground, screamed that I was a "two-timing whore", and staggered away. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, while waiting outside a liquor store for my boyfriend, a drunk guy leaned over my shoulder, took a large bite out of my burger, and walked away. FML
Today, I was at a coffee shop, when a middle-aged guy called me a "two-timing whore", dumped his coffee on me and walked out in tears. I'm 14 and I have no idea who he was. FML
Today, I went to a bar with a close friend. She got drunk and was feeling sick, so I carried her to my car to take her to her house. Some stranger accused me of drugging her and tackled me with her in my arms. She threw up on me, and he took off running without an apology. FML
Today, I saw a drunk woman drop her purse in the street. I picked it up and went to give it to her, only for her to scream at me for being a thief. Then she started crying, apologized and hugged me, then got angry again, and finally threw up on me. FML
Today, I saw a beautiful girl at the bar. I attempted to be friendly and hit her up for a chat. She called me a “creep” and told me to get lost. A few moments later, another guy does the exact same thing I did and she smiled and kept flirting. FML
Today, after countless nights spent together and flirty texts, I decided ask my crush on a date while at a party. We went on a walk and held hands. Just as I asked him, he said no, let go of my hand and briskly walked away. He was my ride home. FML
Today, the guy I've been sleeping with for the last three weeks got really drunk. I drove him home from the party and took care of him. At 2am he asked for the phone. When I asked what for, he said he wanted to drunk dial his girlfriend. FML
Today, while out for lunch, a guy approached me and asked for my number. I politely declined. To my dismay, he dropped to his knees, grabbed his head, and started moaning about how nobody ever gives him a chance. I felt the accusing stares. FML
Today, I was out clubbing. My girlfriend went to get us drinks, so I danced alone while I waited. Some girl with hideous meth mouth, who was clearly tripping balls, started harassing and groping me and got all three of us kicked out when my girlfriend returned and beat the hell out of her. FML
Today, while at a party, I ran into the girl I've liked for ages. I was so nervous, but I managed to keep the conversation going for a half hour. After mustering up the courage to ask her out on a date, her drunk, over-protective ex burst in and threw up on my shirt. Good timing, asswipe. FML
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Top comments
Halcyon3210 6
He's not a part of your system!
kbt13 0
I like how you cheated on him without you guys actually being together.
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Comments (155)
Cesar8 4
First
UnicornHunter 12
No one ******* cares, loser.
ChucktheNorris 0
Well, did your phone break? O.o
AaronTkr 0
she switched to the verizion iPhone
UnicornHunter 12
I'm guessing it did.
CattyPurry 0
you should have yelled after him "CAN YOU HEAR ME NOW?"
CryMoreFMLs 15
No, but her emotions were shattered.
flockz 20
HE THREW IT ON THE GROUND!!!
dolphincheddar 10
You had sex with a bum and didn't date him? Oh and any normal bum would have keptthe phone.. That one must have been high off his rocker
iamyour_petrock 8
HELL YES
MyScrewedUpLifeS 0
42 I was gonna say that :(
ChucktheNorris 0
42 and 57,,, DO NOT SASS ME. I WAS SIMPLY WONDERING. YOU KNOW WHAT THEY SAY. CURIOUSITY KILLED THE CAT. WAAAAIT A MINUTEEE NEVERMIND ABOUT THAT. DO NOT MESS WITH CHUCK NORRIS. THE GUY WITH THE PUPPY PROFILE PICTURE KNOWS.I WILL JACK YOU UP. I WILL ROUNDHOUSE KICK YOU TO PLUTO. The lonely planet that was.
Rebi3144 8
Sucks to be you, ya two-timin' *****.
onesky 0
for once I'd like to see a post that doesn't have any YDI when they obviously dont
Rebi3144 8
I wasn't saying ydi. I was saying the life sucks. Jesus.
NuTrees 9
86 was just trying to be at the top. they were trying to start a new topic,, sort of
xlord 27
95 don't try bringing Jesus into this... He's got enough trouble fighting of all the ninja mutant nazi zombies
iSitt 0
ydi for not quickly securing your phone when you notices a crazy guy approaching you.
beasting 0
u can sue
Halcyon3210 6
He's not a part of your system!
Goodatbeingbad 9
He took it and threw it on the ground!!
Nosrebor 8
That was an epic comment ^^^ (talking about 7's comment)
skppy1225 7
HIS DAD'S NOT A PHONE.... DUH!
boobygirl 8
man!!!!!!
Klug_fml 7
DAMN. I commented the same thing and then saw this. Ugh.
ily236 0
He's an adult! MAN!
Malkria 1
nice picture 7!!!!
DCFan 9
...... Shouldn't be so stuck up!
123jade456 0
haha crazy people
iJasper 8
Lol at your picture
idontcare8l 3
Does that mean the bird will now bite in stead if peck?
kbt13 0
I like how you cheated on him without you guys actually being together.
mycookiezz 0
I almost peed laughing at ur profile pic, kmsl
idontcare8l 3
Holy shit i didnt even notice the guy in the window ... Hes kinda scarey
123jade456 0
haha i love the picture hahahha
bluebob13 10
It's gollum!!!
salvorican 24
For some reason I imagined the intoxicated guy to be House...
Iwashere12345 0
saying 'get the **** away from me' isn't politely saying no, OP
getviolated 5
you know those times where you feel embarrassed for someone else after they say(or type) something stupid? Yeah...
sarabraun8 7
politely declined! read it over again if u must.
Iluvbeinamommy 0
You should re-read before you post a comment and make yourself look stupid.