Today, I had to explain to my one person on my staff why having kids aged 6 to 9 hammering in screws with the butt end of a screwdriver is neither safe, nor a good idea. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I had to explain to my 27 year-old sister why a stainless steel fork isn't a good toy for my 8 month-old baby. Twice. FML
Today, my husband told me he didn't want me to get power tools to build things, because he thinks a miter saw and a sanding orbiter are more dangerous than guns. FML
Today, our 9 year-old son managed to shoot himself in the gut with my nail gun. According to my wife, this is completely my fault, because I ONLY kept it in my locked garage, ONLY secured in its box, ONLY completely disconnected from the power, ONLY on the highest shelf near the roof. FML
Today, I cut myself with child-proof scissors. FML
Today, while life-guarding, I had to explain to teenage boys that shoving objects up each others' butts and complaining that someone was giving them anal was inappropriate at a family facility in front of kids under the age of 10. FML
Today, I had to explain to my son why it is not okay to slap old women's butts. He's 16. FML
Today, I had to explain to my little sister that not all guitars are supposed to have a hole in them, that when I was talking about "breaking it in" I didn't mean I'd smash a hole in it, and that she shouldn't have taken a hammer to my expensive new guitar. FML
Today, I asked my wife to keep our toddler confined while I hung a shelf. Of course, she didn't, and he came in and picked up a screwdriver. I tried to take it away, and he ran off giggling, only to trip and slice his forehead open. According to my wife, this is entirely my fault and she is taking him to her mom's. FML
Today, I learned the hard way that if you tell your child that they're old enough to cook their own food in the microwave, you have to make sure they're smart enough not to put the metal spoon in with the food as well. FML
Today, I managed to staple my finger while showing my kindergartner class how to properly use one. FML
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Top comments
bigsc 0
there are so many things wrong with that
ilaleahcim 6
There are so many things wrong with this sentence.
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Comments (86)
bigsc 0
there are so many things wrong with that
insanesna1l 0
yeah, slave labour is losing the quality it used to have
rallets 23
is one person considered a staff? a staff is multiple employees...or a magical stick
piiing 0
op needs to work on their grammar
countryboyj17 0
55 care to correct him..?
benefiits 0
op said one person ON the staff so it should be correct
ScaughtieHolden 11
69 ;D
metallakes 0
THATS THE FIRST THING I SAW!
MissBunny25 0
oh god my eyes..
BIGshooter 2
miss bunny you are beautiful.
MissBunny25 0
thank youu :)
tattortotamus 0
I was thinking th same thing she really is gorgeous.
MissBunny25 0
kk this is a tad embarrassing :$ lol but thanks
quin01 0
#18 omfg sameee
wakeNmakePIZZA 0
me 2
ilaleahcim 6
There are so many things wrong with this sentence.
marinus_fml 20
In fact, there is nothing wrong with your sentence...
IzBtrolololin 0
this made no sense and confused me.
you_freak 7
Agreed, I had to read it a few times to figure out what was going on...
skull4k9 0
she should have just let them use hammers their much safer lol
NerdsWillRule 3
They're*.
Juliaa15 6
Been there, done that.
valri3 0
Some peoples wrote, sentences wrong. :(
MrLaryRottweila 1
Do you work at McDonalds?
instnt1nfction 17
that defiantly makes sense
BleakAsFcuk 0
Your sentence definitely makes sense.
Jimboom 12
Exactly.. I mean their little hands are way to small to properly use a screwdriver.... should have given them a hammer. ;-)
truthinlies 1
you don't use a hammer on screws screw the screws and nail nails
calcetines 0
Truthinlies, I love your use of metaphor in saying "screw" and "nail" when you actually meant Jimbiim's mother! ;)
DocBastard 40
Truthinlies, you're an idiot. OP said the kids were using the butt end of a screwdriver to try to hammer in nails. Learn to read. Calcetines, you're an even bigger idiot. That was such a failed attempt at humour. The sound of cows being slaughtered was funnier than that.
Rainbow35 6
41: The OP definitely said screws, not nails. Maybe they meant nails, or maybe some stupid person actually did try to hammer in screws.
DocBastard 40
Correct you are. I am shamed.
truthinlies 1
doc who should learn to read ?
GoPro2Oh 0
Then I better have my house fixed!