Today, I went with my dad to Starbucks. There is this really cute guy who works there and he kept looking over at me, so I went over to say hi. He ended up asking if my dad was single. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was with my dad at the supermarket and this guy was checking me out. My dad yells at him with a grin, "I know! I make beautiful babies!" FML
Today, I'm a barista at Starbucks. When my crush walked in and asked how much his coffee would cost, I said a date. He said he'd rather pay for the coffee. FML
Today, I was at the mall and I noticed this guy staring at me from across the food court. He smiled and waved at me so I walked over there and tried to talk to him. He was looking at his girlfriend the whole time. FML
Today, I went on an a date with a guy I met online. We were waiting in line at Starbucks when he turned to me and said, "Do you want anything?" Just before I was about to answer, he practically shoved in front of me and paid for himself. The cashier looked more horrified than I did. FML
Today, I was at Starbucks after having a rough day. The old man beside me was talking to his friend. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw him point at me and say, "See that beautiful girl over there?" Flattered, I listened closer… until he finished his statement with, "She's gonna die." FML
Today, I was in Walmart with my mom. I was looking for some CDs I wanted and saw a cute guy. Then he nodded at me and as he started to walk towards me, I hear my name being called over the intercom. Apparently, according to my mom, it was time to go. FML
Today, my dad and I were at the grocery store buying toilet paper. As we walk out I see these two attractive guys that I know. My dad gets that I think they're cute, so he shouts "Hey babe, how's your stomach feeling now? Will this be enough for you?" They walk away laughing. FML
Today, I went out for coffee with a guy I really like. We met up at the local café, and decided to sit at a counter in front of the window. We talked and flirted for a while. Then he kissed me, and while he was kissing me someone banged on the window. It was my parents. They didn't know I'm gay. FML
Today, I was at a club with a friend. A cute guy kept smiling and looking over at me. He left his seat and went to the bar and brought back two drinks. He waved me over and then said, "Can you tell your hot friend that I bought her a drink?" FML
Today, I took the train to visit my parents, which arrives late at night. As I was getting off, the cute guy in front of me looked out the window, then turned to me and said, "Doesn't that guy out there give you the creeps?" That guy was my dad. FML
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Top comments
Tupelo_Honey 30
So what did you say?
imyy 20
She obviously said, "He's not single, but I am. Watching you is making me hotter than your coffee, so no need for more cream for me."
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Comments (75)
Tupelo_Honey 30
So what did you say?
imyy 20
She obviously said, "He's not single, but I am. Watching you is making me hotter than your coffee, so no need for more cream for me."
WolfieTheBadass 9
Maybe... He was looking for a good spouse for his mom! Don't give up yet, my friend~
finnrambo 13
But she did want extra cream if you catch my drift ;)
DefiningDivine 13
That was a plot twist.
Miss_Attitude96 24
So.... Is he? O.o
fsomelife 26
"Today, I wrote to my fellow FMLers about how this really cute guy who works at Starbucks asked if my dad was single. They ended up asking if my dad was single. FML"
rfvyhn 14
Maybe that was just a bad conversation starter and he actually likes you?
WhatsGoodBro 12
It'd probably be one of the worst ways to get a girl to like you. For some reason I don't think girls are into guys that hit on their dads first.
oj101 33
Perhaps he wanted to know if your dad wanted a single shot of coffee as an awkward icebreaker to initiate conversation with you?
OhDearBetrayal 25
Or maybe he did mean it. This actually reminds me of that one MadTV skit, "My gay dad always steals my boyfriends even though they say they're straight."
benmec 18
That's when you say yes, invite him over but secretly plot to turn him straight. It can't hurt to try. Go get it girl!!!!!
landon_loe11 16
You don't just turn someone straight.
accioshannon 17
I feel as if there are quite a few plot holes in this plan.
DocBastard 40
Your plan is as likely to work as my plan to turn you smart. Good luck with that.
greenie213 23
There are ex gays in the world. It could work.
laden_swallow09 35
25- Where? Even then, wouldn't they simply be bi?
greenie213 23
No. There have been cases where people went from gay to completely straight.
conqueror57 11
Plenty of women carry out gay relationships in their late teens, early 20s but wind up happily married in monogamous relationships with men. Why can't the same be true for men?
williamcarter93 13
You don't change sexuality. You are gay, straight, bi, transgender, whatever. You can try to live as something else but too many times it does not work
greenie213 23
Thumb me down all you want. They still exist.
bookshot 9
There have been cases where people have been overcome by societal pressure and/or sadistic reprogramming attempts and claim to be straight, but there's no such thing as ex-gay. Just ex-out.
iChompYa 18
Just look at this way, you have something to talk about with your dad now :P though i am sorry to hear that OP
zero91 4
dont worry , soon a straight guy will ask you out instead ..
jetsown08 21
So call me maybe?
marinus_fml 20
Awkward level: Gay
ladyLALAA 29
DILF!! I feel for you, but this is awesome. Hope you told him it was your dad, the dude would be even more awkward!