Today, while sitting on the bus a stranger sat next to me, farted, put his hand under his butt to smell what it was like, and then sniffed it throughout the whole ride while glancing at me. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, on the bus, a large smelly man was sat next to me, pushing me against the divider and sliding into me on every turn. When he got up for his stop, his pants had loosened and his bare ass was staring me in the face. FML
Today, I was riding the public bus and a really fat, smelly guy sat next to me. He put his arm around my shoulder and asked me if I was single. My stop wasn't for three more miles. FML
Today, a woman got on the bus wearing extremely strong perfume and sat in the seat in front of me. The gentleman I was sitting next to began violently sneezing, so much so that he eventually sneeze-vomited all over my lap and backpack. FML
Today, while on the bus, the guy sitting beside me let out the vilest and most nauseating fart I've ever encountered, the kind that could retroactively sterilize five generations of one's ancestors with the smell alone. As I gagged, he smirked and said, "That's Taco Bell for ya." FML
Today, I was on the bus heading home from school, when I noticed a ridiculously hot girl near me, checking me out. I was about to say something charmingly funny when I suddenly got a whiff of onions. Turns out she had turned around simply to catch the essence of her own fart. FML
Today, the guy sitting beside me on the bus fell asleep and just drooled on me. FML
Today, a total stranger on the bus called me hideous and threw a soda in my face. I only asked him if the seat next to him was taken. FML
Today, I was sitting on the bus and the guy in front of me turned around and asked for a dollar. I politely said no. Now he won’t stop farting. I literally hate leaving my house anymore. FML
Today, I took a busy train into the city. I was lucky enough to get a seat. People were forced to stand in the aisle in front of me, and the person directly opposite me, whose butt was level with my head farted in my face. Twice. FML
Today, I was sitting on the bus when a large woman with what seemed like the flu came to sit beside me. After snorting hideously for five minutes, she picked up her scarf, blew her nose into it, and dropped it. It fell on my lap. When I stood up to leave the bus, there were streaks of snot on my new skirt. FML
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Top comments
DrAwesome 6
Doesn't look like the bus will be running out of gas any time soon.
Doortje 30
And he didn't offer you a sniff? How rude!
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Comments (100)
ceepevoy 0
Can someone please tell me what the hell OP stands for? just started using fml.
Grand_Cookie 21
Original Poster Pretty common for online message board type stuff.
5t3ff1k4h 47
No, no, no. You've got it all wrong. It's Organized Pandemonium.
bellaec825 4
lol omg thats totally creepy ;0
Grand_Cookie 21
My brother and a few of my friends do crap like that. No one wants to smell your fart. It is kinda weird that you didn't move though.
wriptidez 0
omword
annDxyz 0
I can see this happening on public transportation. you don't always have the choice to move. & not everyone can afford a car! pretty gross to see that though. my bf clipped his nails on a bus once. he got some guy in the forehead.
Daz3 5
this made me LOL
rustic 0
I'd so want to do this someday to a total stranger xD call me weird but I like doing unexpected awkward things just to see the reaction xD :3
valri3 0
No lmao here. but really maybe he got back from a university and wanted to see if it was true that he had been farting nonstop for half an hour.
W4X 0
Your on a bus... What do you expect people to do, sniff roses instead of farts?
Zqym 0
You must live in San Francisco.