Today, it's my 26th birthday. My girlfriend gave me a matchbox car, a glow necklace, and a squirt gun. For her birthday, I bought her a new dress, rented a limo, and took her around to bar hop with her friends. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, it was the girl of my dreams' birthday. She already knows I am totally in love with her. So for her birthday I decided to buy her a $60 dollar bottle of rum for her and her friends to have fun with. She picked it up from my house with her new boyfriend waiting in the car. FML
Today, it was my 16th birthday. My surprise was a new car, that is now in the side of the garage because my mom lost control while driving it around front. FML
Today, it's my birthday. My wife took me to my favorite restaurant for dinner. She made me pay for my birthday dinner, along with hers. She also got me a gift card to HER favorite store. FML
Today, it's my birthday. My girlfriend gave me the present she'd bought for me. I said, joking, "I hope it's not a tie!" It was a tie. FML
Today, it's my sixteenth birthday and my mom promised me she'd buy me a car. She came home with a toy lego car. FML
Today, it's my birthday. My fiancé decided to give me the gift of "freedom." That's how he put it, anyway. FML
Today, it was my birthday. My boyfriend had promised that the day would belong to me. But no, I had to drive 80km forth and back to pick him up from work, then he took pictures with his new camera lens, then he decided what to eat, demanded a massage, and then he just fell asleep. Happy birthday to me. FML
Today, it's my 17th birthday. I asked for a newer car because my car right now sucks. I got a book on photography. I don't own a camera. FML
Today, it's my birthday. My boyfriend took me to dinner and near the end, he pulled out a long, rectangular box. Thinking it was a necklace, I got very excited. It was a wand. FML
Today, it's my birthday. My girlfriend gave me a Paul Frank t-shirt. It says "I'm single." FML
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Top comments
SAgirl 23
You're her sugar daddy, not her BF.
kman1759 7
if this was flipped and the boy was given the squirt gun and the girl was giving the limo everyones opinions would be completely different.
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Comments (164)
edge1995 0
dude, that sucks! Well, happy birthday, today is mine as well!! (:
jewban 3
I agree that those gifts are lame but it's all about the giving not receiving and in the end your the better person
TheRealFamilyGuy 5
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
she didn't even have to get you anything. women have the 3 best presents anyone can give them, a hand, a mouth and a ******.
ShadyFTW1 0
24 you forgot the asshole. OP, I hope your girl put out that night, at the very least.
ThePillow 0
She got you better presents. You, OP, are one lucky man. Something like this would pass on MLIA. >:D
TheRealFamilyGuy 5
#29 I tip my hat to you, forgot about that present!
bubblezz0504 0
#23 you're a pig.
sourgirl101 29
Don't forget her ears, so she can hear you "coming".
sourgirl101 29
Bullocks Pen! It's funny how you can take one word and change the whole meaning of a sentence. No offense to the cuckoo bird.(:
WallyTheWombat 0
That was pretty awesome pendatik. So it sounds like op only gives awesome presents because he expects awesome presents in return? Maybe she can't afford to rent you a damn limo. Do you know how awesome a squirt gun can be? Fill it with grapefruit juice and whoever you shoot will be sticky for the rest of the day! Use your new power wisely.
Zitho 0
On a man's birthday, women are supposed to provide great sex, then STFU for the rest of the day.
doughnutboy99 2
exactly nobody said you ad to use only water
rickolette 0
lol! I read this twice!!! GAWD, I have no life, xD jk >.> <.<
satomi_ishida 0
Lol Shady and TheRealFamilyGuy also forgot boobs :P 5 good presents gentlemen.
carriema 7
Noticed they put their FML under the "love" category. Not very good at categorizing either. And, YDI, you didn't even double check and reread it before sending it.
mod3rator 2
#33 and the boobs... don't forget the boobs :D
Lolerskatez 0
"Girls don't like boys, girls like cars and moneyyyy" =D
CiaranPM 0
No it's "Girls like cars and men; so I named myself Carmen." -to man- "What's your name, then?" ... " B.J. Titsandgolf."
W4X 0
I'm never gonna see a Carmen the right away again lol.
Contradicted 1
LMFAO, thats a win.
30STMluvva 0
good charlotte for the win! :)
BrightSidegirl82 0
Good Charlotte:D
awkwardddmoment 0
true true!
ZombiesRCrazy 0
heck yes I love that song!
SAgirl 23
You're her sugar daddy, not her BF.
Grand_Cookie 21
bullseye!
xxxbooxxx 16
well.. if you were my boyfriend.. I wouldn't want a limo and a new dress and all that... glow sticks and a matchbox car is good enough for me :D
natsaysheyyy 16
That sounds like an ideal boyfriend to me. I'd be disappointed as hell to be dating his girlfriend. She must be too poor to afford anything else and also unappreciative since she proves to be incapable of at least being more thoughtful than a freaking squirt gun.
soytufan 0
it's the tought that counts??? naah fyl.. but happy b-day go oig with out her.. :D
soytufan 0
OUT* LOL
Amgnowai 0
thought* too :)
thejacl 0
^ unless he is French :P
badbe 0
Dump her
JonaDona 2
...or hump her
ledzeppelinIV 0
I say dump the bitch's ass
metalboxzes 0
I say hump the bitches ass
sixtimessix 0
bahahaha
BadasS14 0
i say hump and Then dump!
IridianShadow 20
This thread gives a new meaning to Humpty Dumpty.
Cass3m0 0
Don't be so materialistic, OP. Maybe she just didn't have enough money to buy YOU a limo and a tux and take you out to a bar with your friends.
Morpheus414 0
**** that! All this proves is that she's an ungrateful little shit.
danilols689 11
that's so true, I was thinking the same thing as I did the same thing once! I'm not MADE of money!
LudicMonster 22
I don't think he'd be angry if that was the case
badbe 0
Omg!!! None of my comments are coming up *rage* she's obviously not as well financed as you, if you're not happy leave.
Doortje 30
This relationship seems a little.. unbalanced. But just a little, no biggie.
juilly_fml 3
at least she got you something OP - stop whining and get over it
Pb25797051 0
you would whine over it too
dudeitsdanny 10
^^^ Yep, a lot of people would. For my ex's birthday I spent a lotttt on a romantic weekend. On my birthday, I got a movie. And I knowwww she's better off than I am. Glad to be rid of her ;P
completelydeck 0
OP's girlfriend found
shanks19 0
just think of all the activities you can do with your birthday presents . ahhhhhh so many activities