Today, while on my graveyard shift at an inner-city backpackers lodge, a drunk pissed in a dorm at 4am. I had to clean up after him, wash all the luggage that got dowsed, clean up 2 separate piles of puke, and help 3 drunken Brits back to their room while they abused me. I have a science degree. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I arrived in my dorm at 3 am to find my roommate passed out and a nauseating stench. While I was gone, he got drunk and puked all over the walls, carpet, and both beds. His inebriated attempt to clean up the mess consisted of smearing his vomit everywhere with my shower robe. FML
Today, at my hotel job, I had to help a drunk naked guy back into his room. Earlier today, a fat old guy wearing only briefs came down to the lobby drunk as hell. I used to like my job. FML
Today, I woke up after passing out at a very small house party. I'd set a three drink limit, but apparently nobody listened, because there were beer cans everywhere, half my stuff was on the floor, and someone had shat in my bathtub. I had to clean all of it up alone. FML
Today, in a 2-hour period at work, I had to talk to the cops, clean up shit and clean up vomit, yet none of these events were related. The worst part is, I work as a lifeguard and none of this is in the job description. FML
Today, while at work, I saw a kid empty his bladder all over the floor. His mother walked over, looked at me, said, "Yep… that just happened," and dragged him away. I'm a 30-year-old man, four credits shy of a Master's, stuck cleaning up piss at a dead-end job. FML
Today, I woke up at a guy's house drunk and soaked in my own pee. I had passed out with all my clothes on. Since I was late for work and didn't have a change of clothes, all I could do was throw my jeans in the dryer. I had to sit all day at work in crusty pee pants. FML
Today, I decided to do a good bit of spring cleaning. When my apartment was finally spotless I went to lie down. I woke up later to find my drunk flatmate passed out in a puddle of her own puke on the living room's carpet. FML
Today, I started working my crappy, minimum-wage retail job at a local electronics store. An hour into my shift, my boss sent me to scrub out a discount bin, after some drunk cunt in his teens staggered into the place yelling, and puked his guts into it. What a life. FML
Today, there were reports of a drunk and disorderly male, and I arrived at the scene only to discover a drunk guy having explosive diarrhoea in a photo booth. He turned to me and shouted "God save the Queen!" It's then that I remembered it was my job to do something about it. FML
Today, after my work's Christmas party, everyone got so drunk that I had to help one of my only sober co-workers take everyone home and clean up vomit. FML
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Top comments
jasonsaied 1
where the hell do you guys see unconscious poms?
repyourcliche 0
oh god, i read "unconscious poms" as "unicorn ****"...
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Comments (118)
KurouTenshi 0
you should hook up with the guy who can use semi colons like a pro :D y'all seem to have a good deal in common ^^
thatssomeBS 9
YDI for taking that job... hold-out for a good job with that degree.
Archangel12 9
Yep, how dare somebody decide to work rather than sitting around job-hunting while unemployed.
Pearljammer001 0
ugh you are right 34 now I feel stupid. btw I'm on an iPod so the text is amazingly small.
The_Disturbed 5
That's ok :) even at normal size it can be a bit of a pain to read...I had to look twice before I noticed it said pom instead of **** :P lol. Just thought I'd make it a bit clearer :P
Enoch134 0
I want to be in ur pants 0.o lol jk I want to be a sugeon
Pearljammer001 0
btw sorry about that. damn tiny text >.<
caittycat95 0
agreed.
lancer126 0
if u have a science degree y u working there when u could be doin some science shit
FUDGELOVESME 0
y don't you just get a new job ydi
IAMLALA 0
go collegeeeeee. sure gets you somewhere.
GiganTronic 0
Science degree=WENT TO COLLEGE. Thinking fail? Making connections fail? I dunno, something fail.
abes22 0
science is a useless degree, you have to do something postgraduate or a more specialized degree to get somewhere
_WhatTheFuck_ 5
Brits are assholes, everybody knows that.
Sirin_fml 47
Oh yes, most certainly.
letmeinplease 0
This makes me LOL for all the smug comments made by science graduates whenever an arts grad makes this kind of FML. Yeah, the world may not need all off it's Etruscan Pottery Majors or World Music degrees, but it also has it's share of scientists doing the most godawful pointless research on unlimited funding. OP, if you're good at science, then do something useful with it. If you're not, don't. Just don't. Cause there's only so many times that I need to hear stories like 'Scientists have discovered the perfect formula for beans on toast' etc, whilst my research into Genocide Prevention and Recovery goes up the swanny for lack of funding.