Today, I went to the movies on a date. My chair made a fart sound while I moved around a little, so my date thought I'd let one rip. He then let out a really horrendously smelling one to make me feel less embarrassed, giving me a reassuring look. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was on a first date with a girl at the movies. Trying to be polite, I held in a fart until an intense, loud action scene came on. As soon as I let go, the scene went silent and my fart was clearly heard to everyone in the movie theatre. My date went to the bathroom. She didn't come back. FML
Today, I was out on my first date in months. My stomach didn’t feel quite right after dinner, but I tried to ignore it. During the movie, it got so bad I decided to try to sneak a small fart for relief. As soon as I did, the theater fell dead silent. My fart practically echoed in the silence. FML
Today, I went on a first date to the movies. During the flick, I choked on a piece of popcorn. I took a gulp of soda and that got stuck as well. I finally got my breath back and let out the loudest burp I ever have. He looked at me and said, "Does this mean I can fart now?" FML
Today, while on a date, I desperately let out a stealth fart in my date's car. I didn't have the nerve to own up to it, even as he started panicking and thinking the smell was coming from his engine. FML
Today, the waiter farted while I was on a date. My date thought it was me. FML
Today, while walking down the aisle of a movie theatre, I passed gas so loudly that the audience missed the climax of the film laughing at me. FML
Today, I went to the movies with my friends. All throughout, some guy kept making weird sounds and breathing deeply. Midway through the movie, he got even louder. Just as I was about to snap, chunks of vomit sprayed over my chair and shoulders. FML
Today, I was on a first date when my lactose intolerance decided to make an appearance. My date thought I was just “getting comfy” when I kept shifting in my seat. Nope, I was trying not to fart. FML
Today, while sitting on the couch with my husband, I farted quietly. Not a big deal, except it's hot out and our fan was blowing in his face, and it stunk. FML
Today, at the movies on a date, I drank all my soda and waited too long. I couldn't take it anymore and quickly got up, knocking my date's popcorn on the floor, and ran to the bathroom. I didn’t make it and went home in shame. It’s better he thinks I stood him up. FML
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Top comments
Lauren324 18
That's sweet, in a disgusting way...
Amrel 10
The next step to loving a man, is to love his farts
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Comments (254)
Lauren324 18
That's sweet, in a disgusting way...
TheMaster15 10
Aww, he cares about her!
Lauren324 18
Yes, but that doesn't change the fact of how smelly it was
Ijas 2
That's disgusting in a sweet way.
TheMaster15 10
14- It was a joke. Who the hell thinks farting would make her feel better?
puppypuncher 5
I believe it's quite sweet to do. OP's date could either be disgusted or accept what he thought she did. I'm sure she would rather him try to make her feel better. Farting along is better than sneering and kicking her in the shins or something.
Liimitless 6
I can't take you seriously when your picture is telling me to 'moo bitch get out the way.'
Lauren324 18
DKr
XmyviolentheartX 13
Reminds me of the time my bf first accidentally farted in front of me after I tickled him and he told me to stop. Haha. I felt bad because he was embarrassed so I let one out so he wouldn't feel bad. Then he made fun of me. -_- Ass. Lol.
desireev 18
It is kinda sweet for him to do.. He coulda been a typical guy and humiliated her if front of all the other people by hollering out "This nasty B**** just farted on me!" or something like that. But instead, he passed one to take the embarrassment off of her! Very sweet.. In a stinky way! :)
Ijas 2
46- Cool story
pandm101 0
No 59 typical douchebag, not typical guy. My girlfriend has gotten gassy at the worst times and I just shrug it off. And I do mean the WORST times as in going down on her.
iBoardSlide 0
Who said love was dead?
JacobWithaY 5
I think instead of breaking the ice he just melted it
Amrel 10
Its funny cause a lot of you are acting like if she actually farted
glenzhao2 16
Good man, he's got your back.
RochelleRedvines 8
So I'm guessing the date went well?
duckeater22 0
Ew....
freakinglaugher 10
Look on the bright side, could of been a shart.
Vikkichikkii 2
I love banging people I meet on hoookupstonight.gu.ma
Naasim 0
Hahahahaha !!!
1nertia 15
Like a boss
iliketofu 6
Never in history of commentary has there been made a comment as witty as yours. You are the true boss. Hail to the king!!!
BountyBass 13
Or hail to the boss!
ShadowsEcho 1
Or just get him a coffee.
swimchica22 0
Or a sandwich
Ballin8864 4
Or a cupcake . ;)
farnsworth 3
Get him a cookie
VorpikeII 17
How about a chocolate?
Ijas 2
Or a chocolate cupcake with a cookie on top
supnowww 0
How about a bottle of STFU.
HetaliaFreak 10
Combo break, motherfuckers.
GovernorGeneral 8
Damn you ^ I was gonna say something :L Lol.
Amrel 10
The next step to loving a man, is to love his farts
UrLyfSuxx 0
Family Guy.
kjcookie10 9
How sweet!!! :D
desireev 18
Actually, you have to "love the farts" BEFORE you love the man! Lol Kinda weird how that works that way.. :)
dannyboy66 7
30 god damn fat man
chili10 18
It's the sexiest think a woman can do.
Infamous_Hawk 6
That stinks..
Androidz 0
Hands down, dick up, most original comment on FML. Thank you 4.
CryMoreFMLs 15
34 - Your phrasing... It's unique, i'll give it that.
Infamous_Hawk 6
I agree..haha.
kozlowski123 0
Hahahaa I get it! This makes me laugh
Buttsexpirate 9
That's some real love right there OP! I'm so happy to see that butts bring people together.
deviable 9
You seem like you'd be the resident expert on farts amiright?
Liimitless 6
They bring people together anyways...
weasel123 9
Buttsexpirate, the combination of your username and this comment is a bit unsettling....
Amrel 10
Ironic, because in but secks you be spreading yer cheeks arrrgh
biglittlehead 12
I want to thumb this up, but I can't because it has 69 thumbs up and I don't want to distort the magic number.
leh9 2
Your pict is perf for this comment:)
GovernorGeneral 8
You can go ahead and give it a thumbs up cause it has 123 now or do you not want to distort that 123, abc, number either -.-
deviable 9
What a nice guy.
ZDK5498 6
my gosh! how thoughtful of him.. just trying to brake the ice
emvictoria 9
Atleast you know he won't judge you if you do let one rip.
leogirl95 12
Challenge accepted?
BeaterOfTheDrums 15
Not if said challenge is from Peter Griffin or Michael Moore..
profoundkisses 18
That's so sweet!
lakerslover1234 0
At least he was trying to be nice. So it's more like **** his life
Pentium_4 27
is this even an FML? haha but don't you just love all the awkwardness in the beginning of a relationship
Lauren324 18
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
Fmlll
ohmandapants 17
^ go away. This isn't an FML for you, princess. Anyway it is sweet in a weird way. He's trying to make her feel reassured, comfortable with him. He thought she farted and was basically saying "hey that's okay, I still like you and I'm not disgusted. Here, let me prove it."