Today, while on a date, I desperately let out a stealth fart in my date's car. I didn't have the nerve to own up to it, even as he started panicking and thinking the smell was coming from his engine. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I went to the movies on a date. My chair made a fart sound while I moved around a little, so my date thought I'd let one rip. He then let out a really horrendously smelling one to make me feel less embarrassed, giving me a reassuring look. FML
Today, the waiter farted while I was on a date. My date thought it was me. FML
Today, I was on a first date with a girl at the movies. Trying to be polite, I held in a fart until an intense, loud action scene came on. As soon as I let go, the scene went silent and my fart was clearly heard to everyone in the movie theatre. My date went to the bathroom. She didn't come back. FML
Today, I was calling my husband while driving. While the phone rang, I farted. As soon as the horrid smell hit my nose, my husband answered. I panicked and hung up quickly, thinking to myself how embarrassed I was because he could smell it. I'm an idiot. FML
Today, I was out on my first date in months. My stomach didn’t feel quite right after dinner, but I tried to ignore it. During the movie, it got so bad I decided to try to sneak a small fart for relief. As soon as I did, the theater fell dead silent. My fart practically echoed in the silence. FML
Today, I farted while I was in the car with my driving instructor and my partner. They couldn't hear it, but it smelled so bad that my instructor thought there was a gas leak, and he made us switch cars. FML
Today, while wearing a sexy pair of undies for my partner and taking him out on a nice dinner, I trusted a fart walking from the car to the restaurant and shit myself. FML
Today, I accidentally farted while on my flight home. It was silent but so deadly that several people were visibly distressed. The overweight guy sitting next to me got a bunch of dirty glares. I was too ashamed to own up to it. FML
Today, while flirting with a cute nurse at my dad's bedside, I accidentally let a noxious fart slip out and she thought the foul smell came from my sleeping father soiling himself. I let her roll him over and check his ass while he cried out in pain because I wasn't man enough to own up to it. FML
Today, while out with my boyfriend I accidentally let out a rather large fart. I was in such shock the only sentence I could make was "I farted." Clearly he was in shock too because the only words he could utter were "I know." FML
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Top comments
khorstmye 15
He knew. He was trying to take the attention away from you so you wouldn't be embarrassed.
cutycat136 28
Own up to it. If he takes it bad, maybe not a choice for you. Considering everyone has to fart sometimes, he should understand that it happens. Shouldn't be a big deal.
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Comments (82)
Carnaxa 8
Some of these comments makes me wonder if you are all pigs who go farting and grossing everyone out with your natural bodily functions just because its natural. have a little consideration, taking a dump is a natural bodily function but i wont do it on your lawn. time and place geez i bet you are the nasty a*ses who do that shit on the bus and the other passengers have to suffer
tburkey17 9
Sometimes you just gotta let it rip
wvcheesehead 13
Its all fun and games until he gets the garage bill for diagnostics.
hammonds92 21
That's sad why do chicks do this. To me there's nothing more sexy then a girl that's real and I can have a farting contest with I might be weird but I find that sexy
Carnaxa 8
Farting contest with...... -.-'.....
Michael903 18
So...your butt molecules smell like burning oil. I recommend more fiber and less fried foods.
collinchildress 12
Hope he doesn't eat your ass later
LyricaSilvan 30
If the smell was so noxious that he really thought it was engine fumes, you may want to make some changes to what you eat.
Hildy93 21
Girls don't fart...
abbeyp27 12
It happens to the best of us women, OP
Mightytall 35
Girl farts are the worst ...