Today, while on a date, I desperately let out a stealth fart in my date's car. I didn't have the nerve to own up to it, even as he started panicking and thinking the smell was coming from his engine. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I went to the movies on a date. My chair made a fart sound while I moved around a little, so my date thought I'd let one rip. He then let out a really horrendously smelling one to make me feel less embarrassed, giving me a reassuring look. FML
Today, the waiter farted while I was on a date. My date thought it was me. FML
Today, I was on a first date with a girl at the movies. Trying to be polite, I held in a fart until an intense, loud action scene came on. As soon as I let go, the scene went silent and my fart was clearly heard to everyone in the movie theatre. My date went to the bathroom. She didn't come back. FML
Today, I was calling my husband while driving. While the phone rang, I farted. As soon as the horrid smell hit my nose, my husband answered. I panicked and hung up quickly, thinking to myself how embarrassed I was because he could smell it. I'm an idiot. FML
Today, I was out on my first date in months. My stomach didn’t feel quite right after dinner, but I tried to ignore it. During the movie, it got so bad I decided to try to sneak a small fart for relief. As soon as I did, the theater fell dead silent. My fart practically echoed in the silence. FML
Today, I farted while I was in the car with my driving instructor and my partner. They couldn't hear it, but it smelled so bad that my instructor thought there was a gas leak, and he made us switch cars. FML
Today, while wearing a sexy pair of undies for my partner and taking him out on a nice dinner, I trusted a fart walking from the car to the restaurant and shit myself. FML
Today, I accidentally farted while on my flight home. It was silent but so deadly that several people were visibly distressed. The overweight guy sitting next to me got a bunch of dirty glares. I was too ashamed to own up to it. FML
Today, while flirting with a cute nurse at my dad's bedside, I accidentally let a noxious fart slip out and she thought the foul smell came from my sleeping father soiling himself. I let her roll him over and check his ass while he cried out in pain because I wasn't man enough to own up to it. FML
Today, while out with my boyfriend I accidentally let out a rather large fart. I was in such shock the only sentence I could make was "I farted." Clearly he was in shock too because the only words he could utter were "I know." FML
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Top comments
khorstmye 15
He knew. He was trying to take the attention away from you so you wouldn't be embarrassed.
cutycat136 28
Own up to it. If he takes it bad, maybe not a choice for you. Considering everyone has to fart sometimes, he should understand that it happens. Shouldn't be a big deal.
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Comments (82)
Cassandra2015 21
he most likely knew what the smell was, so he was trying to make you feel less embarrassed. that's a good dude lol
sprints54 19
Gas gas gas lol
PizzaElHutt 7
I think this deserved at least a 4
PossiblyInDanger 24
Never be embarrassed of that. it's totally natural. If he is grossed out by it, he's not worth your time.
Carnaxa 8
Someone elses fart is pretty gross and farting whenever where ever is also pretty rude. Anyone who does that isnt worth anyones time. So this comment really makes zero sense
smokecloud_ 37
I dunno, early in the relationship for some can be uncomfortable. It took nearly two years with my ex to be comfortable farting quietly in his presence, and loud ones were embarrassing. I'm also one of those girls who is squicked out about farts/any naturally occurring things from my behind being shared with anyone. He never could bring himself to do it in front of me either. I'd probably be mortified in this situation too.
PossiblyInDanger 24
I've never understood how it's rude. Everyone does it, sometimes you can't help it.
SteamyPenguin 46
What had you been eating that your flatulence could be mistaken for engine trouble? You do realise you can never fart around him again unless you are near a car. It's a bit hard to blame it a car if you are in the middle of a restaurant.
brandoneyez1 25
I wouldn't have owned up on a date either.
abNormal62 23
Gives a whole new dimension to the phrase burning rubber
TCRII 30
Never trust a fart...
EvilLittleMan 23
At least you could have made up an excuse to exit the vehicle and check the tire pressure but it appears from your post that all ends well that smells.
ballbags 14
Haha. That is awesome. Remember it's better to fart and be ashamed then to hold it and be in pain
brittaaany_93 38
Better to fart and stink a little than bust your ass and be a cripple!
PizzaElHutt 7
Bravo.
openminded8 17
hey op just be happy your "separator " was working!