Today, while I was watching TV, my boyfriend took my unicorn pillow pet and made it hump my arm. I told him to stop acting like a child. He replied, "Children don't have sex like this," and started making sex noises while making the pillow pet hump my arm faster and harder. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I gave my 5-year-old daughter a unicorn pillow pet. She ended up giving him an ill-advised name, and has been loudly proclaiming to everyone she sees that her pillow pet is Horny. FML
Today, I walked in on my boyfriend humping my stuffed rabbit. I thought he was trying to be funny until I saw that he had an erection. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I were trying to get it on on the bed. As soon as things were starting to get heated, I turned over and saw that my dog had not only jumped up on the bed, but had been watching and started to hump the pillow next to our heads. FML
Today, while having sex with my boyfriend, he started pretending he was a dog. This included barking, licking my face, and scratching his ears. FML
Today, while cuddling with my boyfriend, he started humping my leg and said, "I'm gonna hump the fatness out of you and make you beautiful." FML
Today, I woke up finding myself violently humping my pillow. My mom recorded it. FML
Today, I climbed into bed with my sleeping boyfriend after a long shift at work. He immediately rolled over, clamped my leg between his knees, and started viciously humping it. This is the fourth time now, and he still doesn't believe that he even does it. FML
Today, i told my boyfriend that I wasn't feeling emotionally well, and wanted cuddles. He proceeded to hump my leg. FML
Today, I felt frisky, so I went over to my boyfriend's place, hoping to have some fun. I brought over a movie, and part-way through it, I started feeling him up. He responded by sighing, "That's really fucking annoying, babe. Cut it out, yeah?" FML
Today, my boyfriend managed to orgasm by humping my leg. I'm beginning to think I'm dating a puppy. FML
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Top comments
Xx3rdBASSxX 9
Was the pillow pet Horney?
MicroFuturism 1
Pfft don't be so uptight.
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Comments (343)
xSorry_fml 10
You know the job is done when you have a rainbow stain on your arm.
RedPillSucks 33
That's how skittles are made. Respect the Rainbow.... Respect it!!!!
Joanlysn 0
I thought only children had pillow pets...
onelove1heart88 0
The unicorn shoot out a rainbow of course!
Dsk0ne1 5
Your a bitch! Smile once in a while so maybe people can know your alive. *****.
Dsk0ne1 5
What a bitch! Laugh once in a while so people know you aren't dead inside. *****. My comment was removed! Wtf happen 2 freedom of speech!
Dsk0ne1 5
You're*
Dsk0ne1 5
A bitch, laugh once in a while so people know you aren't dead inside
ZeroIce 12
im sorry but thats funny
kei1108 13
...... Dump please...
lovinit5683 0
I don't see the problem with this. He is just kidding around. Sheesh.
SwiftFaux 0
Stop being a child? You have a unicorn pillow pet... come on, son.
cheesecakex 5
Says the one with the unicorn pillow... Lighten up a bit, I'd find it funny if my boyfriend did that; or tackle him and have sex.
CrizzyCream 1
That's wat i'm saying.!