Today, while I was watching TV, my boyfriend took my unicorn pillow pet and made it hump my arm. I told him to stop acting like a child. He replied, "Children don't have sex like this," and started making sex noises while making the pillow pet hump my arm faster and harder. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I gave my 5-year-old daughter a unicorn pillow pet. She ended up giving him an ill-advised name, and has been loudly proclaiming to everyone she sees that her pillow pet is Horny. FML
Today, I walked in on my boyfriend humping my stuffed rabbit. I thought he was trying to be funny until I saw that he had an erection. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I were trying to get it on on the bed. As soon as things were starting to get heated, I turned over and saw that my dog had not only jumped up on the bed, but had been watching and started to hump the pillow next to our heads. FML
Today, while having sex with my boyfriend, he started pretending he was a dog. This included barking, licking my face, and scratching his ears. FML
Today, while cuddling with my boyfriend, he started humping my leg and said, "I'm gonna hump the fatness out of you and make you beautiful." FML
Today, I woke up finding myself violently humping my pillow. My mom recorded it. FML
Today, I climbed into bed with my sleeping boyfriend after a long shift at work. He immediately rolled over, clamped my leg between his knees, and started viciously humping it. This is the fourth time now, and he still doesn't believe that he even does it. FML
Today, i told my boyfriend that I wasn't feeling emotionally well, and wanted cuddles. He proceeded to hump my leg. FML
Today, I felt frisky, so I went over to my boyfriend's place, hoping to have some fun. I brought over a movie, and part-way through it, I started feeling him up. He responded by sighing, "That's really fucking annoying, babe. Cut it out, yeah?" FML
Today, my boyfriend managed to orgasm by humping my leg. I'm beginning to think I'm dating a puppy. FML
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Top comments
Xx3rdBASSxX 9
Was the pillow pet Horney?
MicroFuturism 1
Pfft don't be so uptight.
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Comments (343)
Unstoppabl3 0
Twilight Sparkle? O.o
hedgehog80 0
So how do children have sex?
anjtrg_1112 23
Hahaha your boyfriend is hilarious !!!! (:
arkid24 1
Hes childish while you own a pillow pet? Riigghht. Congrats, he just stooped to your level
iloveadele123 1
Quite the BF you got there! Lucky you, OP!
monkeysareyummy 0
I still don't understand this.
Strwbry3Shortcke 8
Lol... "My unicorn pillow pet" And he's the immature one!
soccerhoe 0
You should not be telling him to stop acting like a child if you even have a pillow pet in the first place
kelis_fml 0
He's the child? Why do you even have a pillow pet?!
Urface103 0
lol but isnt a unicorn childish!?? haha thats a little contradicting...i thinkni spelled that wrong haha