Today, my 97-pound pitbull wagged and chased his tail while I was being mugged. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Same thing different taste
Today, my fully grown, 90-pound German Shepherd sniffed and wagged his tail as a guy mugged me. FML
Unattack dog
Today, I got mugged while walking my dog. He seemed to be OK with it. FML
Cujo 2: Electric Boogaloo
Today, I was mauled by my own dog. I own a Chihuahua. FML
It's a doggy dog world
Today, my 175-pound rottweiler I've raised since a puppy watched me get jumped and robbed of my phone and money in my yard. An hour later, he hopped the fence and chased the mail man down the street after he leaned on the fence for a second. FML
Who's a good boy?
Today, my dog celebrated my coming home by slapping me in the junk repeatedly with his tail. FML
Today, I went for a run, and my own dog attacked me. FML
Beast Mode
Today, my 80lb black lab decided that the moment I start doing pushups is her cue to mount me. FML
Classic canine move
Today, I was walking my dog when another dog barked at him. My dog ran, pulling me with him. I fell to the ground in pain, with my hand still holding the leash. FML
Bad boy!
Today, I dog-sat for my neighbors' pitbull. Weighing in at 100 pounds with a nasty bite, this dog is no lap dog, but I treated it as one - not knowing how deadly this dog could be - beckoning it towards me with my hand. I now have 6 stitches in my hand and arm, and the neighbors didn't pay me. FML
Today, my dog decided to chase a smaller dog for three blocks. When I finally caught up with him, he laid down and refused to go anywhere. I had to carry my 80 pounds Labrador like a baby all the way home. FML
Top comments
gigistar15 21
Shows that not all pitbulls are vicious! But that definitely sucks for u :(
stuner56 22
Knowing the way people are, if your dog actually did something, your mugger would probably sue you
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Comments (105)
gigistar15 21
Shows that not all pitbulls are vicious! But that definitely sucks for u :(
drunkmunkey 24
he should be glad his pit didn't attack otherwise this fml would be about how they're putting his dog to sleep... it's a pet not a weapon, if he wants protection he should get a knife or a concealed carry permit, not a dog
StantheMan93 12
#35 It doesn't matter if he trains his dog to be a weapon or not. I wouldn't assume the dog would be put down if it helped his owner. The owner could plead self defense.
khorstmye 15
Agree! Getting a dog that is not trained for that and hoping that it will protect you is just a false sense of security.
chosha_fml 27
#1 Getting mugged sucks. But having a dog that is vicious sucks in more situations than this one where it might have been useful.
Algorithm 24
Pits are actually specifically very, very people-friendly unless you can find a way to condition them otherwise. Not a good guard dog choice.
AverageJoey 18
And people say Pitbulls are mean dogs. FYL OP.
teapotrevolt 27
I'm so sorry this happened to you OP, but do you really expect your dog to do something?
jojimugo 20
Yes... It's a pitbull
teapotrevolt 27
What I was trying to say is that jus because it's a pitbull doesn't mean it's just born to be bad, and do bad things.
lifes_a_b1tch 7
Every dog I've ever had would have done something. The Pomeranian probably would have just barked a lot, lol, but she still would have tried to protect me. That's what loyal dogs do.
shessohighh 10
I think it's pretty normal for dogs to be suspicious of strangers. So yes I'm sure OP AT LEAST expected the dog to bark or growl.
JayGatsby 25
If it looks like anyone is attacking me, even if I'm just wrestling with my friends, my dog will bark and will attack on my command. A lot of dogs are usually protective of their owners, even if they haven't been adopted for very long. OP wasn't so lucky here however, so FYL OP.
immaloser95 28
Dogs can be very protective over their owners. My old pug would bark and growl at anyone she didn't know, unless if I told her off. Dogs aren't meant to be used as a weapon, but sometimes, when you really need them (like OP here), a body guard can come in handy.
RodzillaX 30
All dogs are a reflection of their owners. It doesn't matter if it was a pit bull or not. That's my two cents.
countryb_cth 38
My mutt will bark and lunge at anyone who hits me if I say ow. In OP's situation she would sense my fear and probably attack or at the very least bark and growl.
LittleBells 17
What a bitch
mattrd_fml 31
actually a bitch is a female dog.
LittleBells 17
Yeah, I realized that right after I posted it. But someone had to make the pun.
elusiveshame 22
Nobody has to make a pun, and your pun wasn't funny.
Jinxsie 27
I thought it was a good attempt and I chuckled a bit. :)
pussystank 18
Gurl dat waz funny tho.
BassImpulse 7
God damn it why do people keep making shitty puns on here?
Jasim 17
Look at the bright side, you don't have a viscous dog. But on the other hand...
ComoEsJuan 24
I hope no one has a viscous dog...weird.
Steve95401 49
Or a vicious dog.
False_Stupidity 42
On the other hand... I have fingers.
stuner56 22
Knowing the way people are, if your dog actually did something, your mugger would probably sue you
201chasew 22
There was a home invasion somewhere in Florida where the burglar ended up breaking into the guys panther cage (it was some type of large cat). The cat ended up injuring the burglar, so he sued the owner of the house for his injuries.
liquifiednate 21
Also in California, a while back, a burglar robbed some dudes house. While he was in the process of breaking in through the window, he ended up falling through it and got stuck in the dudes laundry hamper. The robber ended up getting slightly hurt and sued the owner of the house for that. -_-
pharm121 21
Why would you own a Panther?!
je_suis_petit 12
How do they even expect to win the case??
stuner56 22
Our ****** up judicial system...
cappellaaa 23
#8 Sadly, I can definitely see this happening
willyjac 17
It's so ****** up but so true, and he'd probably win
ToBeFilledInLate 11
because panthers are awesome.
dntbeadouche 25
why would you not own one? well, if you legally could?
Shlalg 15
Today, my dog failed to live up to its breed's falsely bad reputation, which is so bad they get put down for no reason and banned from some states. Fml?
Himynameisrodney 17
I'm pretty sure it'd be fml for any dog breed...
epodax 12
Apparently OP is one of those people who doesn't realise that if you want a dog to defend you, you'll have to train it to do so
shessohighh 10
That's not necessarily true. Every dog I've ever had has been protective, and I've never done anything to encourage that. It's just natural.
Razi_tail 25
Very true 10. Even if most dogs seem protective, you can't expect an untrained animal to do something. The dogs rely on the owner for their safety and piece of mind. Getting robbed would send out all kinds of fear scents that would send dogs into fear mode quicker than attack mode.
epodax 12
#51 There will always be exceptions. But in general, a dog wont defend you without training
WitEluded 13
That's ruff. But seriously, for what it's worth, criminals eventually get what's coming to them.
BamBAmGG 14
You honestly can't blame your dog for not protecting you, especially if it wasn't trained to. Be happy you have such a friendly boy!(: &You should learn how to defend yourself .