Today, while I was watching TV, my boyfriend took my unicorn pillow pet and made it hump my arm. I told him to stop acting like a child. He replied, "Children don't have sex like this," and started making sex noises while making the pillow pet hump my arm faster and harder. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I gave my 5-year-old daughter a unicorn pillow pet. She ended up giving him an ill-advised name, and has been loudly proclaiming to everyone she sees that her pillow pet is Horny. FML
Today, I walked in on my boyfriend humping my stuffed rabbit. I thought he was trying to be funny until I saw that he had an erection. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I were trying to get it on on the bed. As soon as things were starting to get heated, I turned over and saw that my dog had not only jumped up on the bed, but had been watching and started to hump the pillow next to our heads. FML
Today, while having sex with my boyfriend, he started pretending he was a dog. This included barking, licking my face, and scratching his ears. FML
Today, while cuddling with my boyfriend, he started humping my leg and said, "I'm gonna hump the fatness out of you and make you beautiful." FML
Today, I woke up finding myself violently humping my pillow. My mom recorded it. FML
Today, I climbed into bed with my sleeping boyfriend after a long shift at work. He immediately rolled over, clamped my leg between his knees, and started viciously humping it. This is the fourth time now, and he still doesn't believe that he even does it. FML
Today, i told my boyfriend that I wasn't feeling emotionally well, and wanted cuddles. He proceeded to hump my leg. FML
Today, I felt frisky, so I went over to my boyfriend's place, hoping to have some fun. I brought over a movie, and part-way through it, I started feeling him up. He responded by sighing, "That's really fucking annoying, babe. Cut it out, yeah?" FML
Today, my boyfriend managed to orgasm by humping my leg. I'm beginning to think I'm dating a puppy. FML
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Top comments
Xx3rdBASSxX 9
Was the pillow pet Horney?
MicroFuturism 1
Pfft don't be so uptight.
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Comments (343)
jadamsclassic 5
stop being a child? you have a pillow pet...
toxickitty666 1
Ur are the little girl .. Who has a unicorn pillow .. U don't have a sense of humor ..,
sickenedwinter86 0
He's a child for making a joke with your UNICORN toy-pillows? I think you're the child and he is just immature.
lemonloli1990 7
Let me get this straight, you own a pillow pet, and are upset with your boyfriend fir acting like a child? Makes sense to me.
stevenmx86 8
Can the person who was cuddling a pillow pet really tell someone else to stop acting like a child? Grow up OP...
SAgirl 23
Sounds like your boy friend has a sense of humor. You should really consider investing in one as well, it's healthy for a relation ship.
bitemebananaman 3
Reason you didnt deserve it is cause you told him to stop and he didnt. In the household I was raised in, if someone said stop you stop.
lreiss 0
And it's not childish to have a unicorn pillow pet?
coolstoryari 0
:D that is awesome!
Calyx_fml 22
You with the unicorn pillow should not be telling others off for acting childish.