Today, while I was trying to explain to my friend how smoking weed everyday doesn't make you stupid, I forgot what I was talking about mid-sentence. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I had to give a deposition ahead of a trial in which my former boss is accused of fraud. I'm not a smart man, and I smoked a joint before heading out to try to calm my nerves. I got way too high and ended up giggling like an idiot through half the deposition. FML
Today, while giving a brief presentation at work, I blanked out on what I was going to say. I tried to make a joke and tell them I'd had a brain fart, but all I managed to say was, "I farted." Well, at least they all laughed. FML
Today, I had a really big debate in my English Class about the legalization of weed. My group had to state reasons why weed shouldn't be legal and no one except me had prepared. My partner came to class totally stoned. Our group lost the debate. We got an F. FML
Today, my asshat roommate tricked me into eating a weed brownie. I thought it was his terrible attempt at baking regular brownies until it kicked in at college. I was so high, I started giggling like a schoolgirl when my instructor said "Dickens". Now everyone thinks I'm a retard. FML
Today, I had to give a joint presentation at college. My partner was so high, she couldn't even pronounce her own name properly in her introduction. I'm pretty sure her antics are going to get us both failed hard. FML
Today, whenever I get into arguments, I end up mixing up words. I was trying to prove a point by saying a type of chips, and was debating between Dorito chips or BBQ chips. I ended up saying "burrito chips." I said my friend would "sell me out for a bag of burrito chips." FML
Today, my parents felt the need to lecture me about how people who "smoke the reefer" are a "waste of life" and will never amount to anything. I was baked during the entire conversation, and actually ended up breaking down in tears, because I realized they were totally right. FML
Today, I came home to my parents holding my marijuana. They told me that I had the stupidest hiding place ever, and that I was, "not only a pothead, but a dumbfuck pothead." FML
Today, I found another comment online referencing, "Smoke weed everyday." With all due respect for smoking weed, when will people learn that "every" and "day" need to be two separate words in that context? This is seriously making it hard for me to focus on my work. FML
Today, I was high on Marijuana and scrolling through Facebook when I couldn't figure out why I was seeing so much FML Posts no matter how far I scrolled and I was getting annoyed. Then I realized I was specifically on the FML Facebook Page and forgot because I was so high. FML
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Top comments
CryMoreFMLs 15
It happens to the... um... what was I saying... Damn, I forgot.
bonezisme 0
nice sounds like short term hit you bad
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Comments (728)
ambowew 7
You've obviously been smoking a bit of weed yourself. Wow, you're an idiot, dattebayo!!!
JokerJohn7 0
it really doesn't make you stupid, it actually opens your mind up more, maybe the op is just naturally a little stupid
marijuanasmoker4 3
It might make it seem like your mind has opened up, and you've become one with the universe, but your really just high.
docscientist 10
I'd say you're just high.
laden_swallow09 35
it doesn't "open your mind", it merely distorts what's already there.
bluefire8q3 0
You ever herd of being perma-fried???
wat11115 0
lol everybody on fml are right wing assholes, weed isn't bad for you at all
lidemocr 0
hey I'm right winged and very much for marijuana. don't generalize
teresa96706 29
that sucks.. my cousins smoke weed yet they're smart, with pretty good grades.
laden_swallow09 35
Yeeeeaaahhhh, keep tokin' till they're in their mid-30s, then get back with us on that.
JinSaysNever_fml 0
Smoking weed does make you stupid.
andybyeahthatsme 0
and sucking dick makes you a dicksucker...
t765234 10
61- So, you just stated an obvious fact and at the same time agreed with him, gog job bro.
brianjman14 23
No it doesn't. If my parents weren't like people you, I would do a lot better in school. It helps me focus.
staunchpoo 0
you were probably high at the time
mk58 31
25, refer to comment 23.
OfficeNinja 5
smoking stupid does not make you weed. NO! that's nit right! let me try again! smoking weed every day does mot make you....peanut butter and jelly sandwich! those are so good! remember when you were a kid, and your parents would make you peanut butter and jelly sandwiches and it made you so happy? why can't we be that happy as we get older? WAIT!! what was I talking about again???
brianjman14 23
I'm only 75% sure you're making fun of stoners, but even if you are, I gotta admit, that was a little funny. :)
SlyTail 5
Weed isn't horrible for you. If you wanna smoke, smoke. Dont let these wimps tell you how to live.
Krilleee 5
even if weed don't make u stupid, why would smoke it?! **** drugs!
Krilleee 5
why would you smoke it*
albertaboy 7
Marijuana is not a drug. is is the leaves from a plant.
Krilleee 5
yeah and pigs can fly ...
whiterabbit420 4
99, you're wrong. it's the bud you smoke (like the flower) of the plant. the leaves don't have much, if any THC. still from a plant but I hope you're not just smoking leaves. might as well smoke some oak leaves. the'll get you about as high.
Grimmerie 31
and it is still a drug. a drug is any substance outside of necessities that alters your level of consciousness or perception.
docscientist 10
99 - weed is a drug. Being natural doesn't make something not a drug.
Xxak907xX 0
I second this
joshosh420 2
your both wrong the buds are the plants vegetables.
j_cat187 20
or herb its natural like the coca leaf wy fo people find natural things evil?
imahitu 0
it's not a drug retards is literally and genetically an herb
jess6blondie9 3
Smoking weed everyday does make you stupid actually.
SlyTail 5
Your name just made your point invalid.
marijuanasmoker4 3
Smoking weed every day will affect your short-term memory but will not make you retarded.
ReynshineCutting 10
I think it's the fact that they smoke weed in the first place that makes them stupid.
andybyeahthatsme 0
and you ******* people for money makes you a *****
xoxotayy58 0
you sound like a douche.
andybyeahthatsme 0
fml adds plus8 douche to everyone
Sparx1_1 16
#51 With an impaired short term memory you cannot take in new information as effectively. Weed does not make you stupid but over time it does lower you IQ because it slows your learning.
jess6blondie9 3
66 - I don't **** people for money. I'm not a *****. And smoking weed does make you stupid. It kills brain cells. It's also illegal, so by smoking it you're breaking the law, so that does make you stupid.
monnanon 14
@55 your pal may have got the highest score but he needed drugs to do it. I see no victory in that. Many uni students smoke but you do not NEED a drug to do well, I've graduated uni and I haven't touched any drugs apart from coffee and booze and I wouldn't dream of doing an exm drunk. Your pal is no hero, he is a stoner who caught a lucky break. If he carries on smoking the way he does there won't be much more.
akichan15 5
lol win 47
casaco 0
Try it and u will see how ur views change
marcxikk 0
because of the high. that's why it's bad because the high is so great u like it but u need more and more because of tolerance and eventually u could potentially do other worse drugs u just proved how it's bad.
marijuanasmoker4 3
ok, 329 according to your logic everything that you enjoy could possibly lead to worse things because you enjoy them?
j_cat187 20
when a law is unjust u break it. the goverment has no right to tell me what i can and can not do to my body
5t3ff1k4h 47
439 - You're twisting his words, but yes in a way you do get a high from things you enjoy. This is according to a few philosophers; it's the aesthetic stage I believe Kierkegaard theorizes about. Basically, if you enjoy something you want to do it more and more because it feels good. When you build up tolerance to what you enjoy, sometimes you get to the point where you'd do anything just to experience it again. That's where most of the danger lies. 440 - Who are you to say a law is unjust?