Today, while I was trying to explain to my friend how smoking weed everyday doesn't make you stupid, I forgot what I was talking about mid-sentence. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I had to give a deposition ahead of a trial in which my former boss is accused of fraud. I'm not a smart man, and I smoked a joint before heading out to try to calm my nerves. I got way too high and ended up giggling like an idiot through half the deposition. FML
Today, while giving a brief presentation at work, I blanked out on what I was going to say. I tried to make a joke and tell them I'd had a brain fart, but all I managed to say was, "I farted." Well, at least they all laughed. FML
Today, I had a really big debate in my English Class about the legalization of weed. My group had to state reasons why weed shouldn't be legal and no one except me had prepared. My partner came to class totally stoned. Our group lost the debate. We got an F. FML
Today, my asshat roommate tricked me into eating a weed brownie. I thought it was his terrible attempt at baking regular brownies until it kicked in at college. I was so high, I started giggling like a schoolgirl when my instructor said "Dickens". Now everyone thinks I'm a retard. FML
Today, I had to give a joint presentation at college. My partner was so high, she couldn't even pronounce her own name properly in her introduction. I'm pretty sure her antics are going to get us both failed hard. FML
Today, whenever I get into arguments, I end up mixing up words. I was trying to prove a point by saying a type of chips, and was debating between Dorito chips or BBQ chips. I ended up saying "burrito chips." I said my friend would "sell me out for a bag of burrito chips." FML
Today, my parents felt the need to lecture me about how people who "smoke the reefer" are a "waste of life" and will never amount to anything. I was baked during the entire conversation, and actually ended up breaking down in tears, because I realized they were totally right. FML
Today, I came home to my parents holding my marijuana. They told me that I had the stupidest hiding place ever, and that I was, "not only a pothead, but a dumbfuck pothead." FML
Today, I found another comment online referencing, "Smoke weed everyday." With all due respect for smoking weed, when will people learn that "every" and "day" need to be two separate words in that context? This is seriously making it hard for me to focus on my work. FML
Today, I was high on Marijuana and scrolling through Facebook when I couldn't figure out why I was seeing so much FML Posts no matter how far I scrolled and I was getting annoyed. Then I realized I was specifically on the FML Facebook Page and forgot because I was so high. FML
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Top comments
CryMoreFMLs 15
It happens to the... um... what was I saying... Damn, I forgot.
bonezisme 0
nice sounds like short term hit you bad
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Comments (728)
Capt_Oblivious 10
You're a dumbaaaahey, are those cookies?
emo0366 0
lol
5t3ff1k4h 47
I don't think there's any concrete proof it can help fight cancer. It takes the patients' minds off of their pain and nausea from the chemotherapy if used medicinally, but there's no proof it 'prevents it' or helps 'cure it', if you will. I also know people who have experienced a euphoric high while others have suffered with paranoia and intense social phobias (which they didn't have before). No real proof it enhances creativity as only some people experience that while others don't. Nobody has been recorded to have died of weed. Doesn't mean weed hasn't had something to do with death. Smoke is smoke; smoke in any way, shape or form is not good for the lungs. I'm not sure of the credibility of this, but I have heard that smoking marijuana (and more obviously, cigarettes) can cause lung cancer due to the smoke.
SpectSelf 0
156, best response I've seen on here
docscientist 10
Actually 156, there are studies that suggest marijuana has cancer preventative properties and actively fights off tumors. I'll try to find the study and post when I can.
5t3ff1k4h 47
Suggestions aren't proof. As far as I know, nothing's been looked into that far in depth. I think someone else commented saying they can't test this theory.
5t3ff1k4h 47
Posted in the wrong spot. Sorry.
Mr_mur_der 0
No, your just an idiot.
mk58 31
Don't call someone an idiot if you can't use "you're" properly. It reflects on you badly.
Suchagoonnn 4
bad grammar doesnt necessarily mean someone is an idiot. book smart isn't the same thing as intelligence. when will you retard grammar nazis learn that? bunch of idiots.
mk58 31
I didn't say he was an idiot. Grow up.
LifeSucksbtw 0
68 agreed
t765234 10
68- wow, I was willing to tolerate all the other dumbass pro-illegal drug smokers comments, but that was just plain idiotic. BOOK SMARTS ARE THE ONLY INTELLIGENCE THAT WILL GET YOU ANYWHERE SUCCESSFUL DAMNIT, I WSH FUCKTARDS LIKE YOU COULD UNDERSTAND THAT. I hate you and all pot smoking faggots of the sort.
Beebow_fml 5
Ya, he's got some mentally ill fighter as his avatar and his location is 'USA, nukka'. It will be impossible to reason.
CitrusGirl 0
Whether or not you are smart, if you can't figure out how to capitalize, use apostrophes, and use commas, you look stupid. It would be a shame to look stupid if you actually are intelligent.
MrSexyPants 14
Some of the smartest people I know have terrible spelling and grammar until it counts. Why don't people read the context of the comment rather the way it's written?
5t3ff1k4h 47
Because sometimes it's so bad you can't even tell what the point of it is. It's not hard to speak/type properly. If they're smart enough to know how it's supposed to be spelled/said, they should put it to good use.
puffballexhibit 0
Yes it does, bad grammar implies a bad education. If someone is badly educated, they're stupid...
dempsy_isa_tank 0
that's GSP. (George st Pierre). one of the best MMA fighters ever.
Suchagoonnn 4
198 i said book smarts isn't the same thing as intelligence retard. looks like you dont know how to read and comprehend well.
lifesucks1234567_fml 2
damn wats the deal with you calling everyone retards and idiots??
BooGhosted 0
They want to feel important:( It's like bullying but on the Internet where everyone is really a 60 year old pedophile 0.o
CitrusGirl 0
You never get on anyones good side by calling people retards, I can tell you that much right now.
anongrl 2
Grammar Nazi's: who cares? This is fml for gods sake! Not an essay for school or anything. This is the only site I've ever been on that has members who gives a crap about proper grammar. It's just a comment, noone cares if it's gramatically correct, as long as you can understand it. I'll never understand why you people care so much. I'm guessing it's just to pick fights.
5t3ff1k4h 47
279 - If you claim to be intelligent, you should be able to spell and comprehend. If you can't, you're not intelligent.
sparkles0103 4
stoners definitely don't have all of their brain cells.
andybyeahthatsme 0
i dont have all my sperm cells either but thats cause i left half of em on your mother's chin
Krilleee 5
#18 : word!!
BahahahLOL 0
Hahahah 56. I smoke pretty much every weekend and I'm acing all my classes.
albertaboy 7
I'm a stoner and do great in school and such so I would watch your mouth there pal.
Zebidee 9
That's because you're 16 and have only been smoking for five minutes. Keep it up and call me when you're 36.
illmatic2 16
Look at all of the stoner's grades in school and compare them to the average student's grades. It doesn't take a genius to figure out smoking pot is a stupid thing to do. Sure, many of them might be stupid just naturally, but the weed sure as hell doesn't help any. I don't care if you smoke pot, that's your choice. But don't try to defend yourself and act like it's not bad for you.
PattisonDaStud 0
133 u mad bro?
docscientist 10
Where are your objective studies that show these results, 133? Yeah, smoking weed every day is not the best thing for you, neither are s lot of things, but people in all ranks of society smoke weed. Smoking it in moderation is apparently good for you, according to recent studies.
illmatic2 16
I don't need to show you any studies. It's just common sense. Although I probably could if I wanted to. I know there might be some small benefits, but as you already know there are plenty of negatives. It's not worth it unless maybe you're really sick or whatever.
Shadow4i5 3
someones a dumba$$ ^^^^^
docscientist 10
It has nothing to do with common sense. You can't just determine that a group of people who smoke marijuana do poorly because of smoking the drug. You need to look at other factors involved. Maybe they aren't motivated to do well, aren't interested in school, have social pressures to 'not care', or simply aren't academically prepared. I'm not defending being a pothead, and it's probably not the best idea to smoke it every day while your brain is undergoing extensive development, but your small personal experience doesn't mean your observations are correct. It may seem like common sense, but you need objective study to make that claim.
akichan15 5
lol wow shows how much you know.
illmatic2 16
Docscientist, like I said in my first comment: lots of them are probably naturally just stupid. And I do know quite a bit about marijuana. I just get annoyed when stoners come on here and say shit like "I smoke weed all the time, and I'm fine." That's just bullshit. Look at Doc's post under the first comment. That should be more than enough information for all of you to know that it's stupid. I understand that what I said was a bit of a stereotype, but it definitely has to stand for something.
illmatic2 16
I just looked it up. People who smoke marijuana (especially ones who. do it a lot) DO tend to get lower test scores. Google it if you don't believe me.
docscientist 10
Yeah, I understand man, I just do my best to fight stereotypes of any kind. It is difficult to know a person's convictions through a small window of comments as people tend not to naturally fully articulate their points of view in a forum.
docscientist 10
And I do believe you, habitual use can lead to short-term memory impairment, but I encourage people to do research as it can open your eyes or strengthen your argument greatly.
joshosh420 2
its not bad for you. your just a common close minded individual.
illmatic2 16
^^^ And you're in denial. If you're gonna do it I don't care. But only a dumbass thinks it is good for you.
Suchagoonnn 4
shut up. nas smokes weed too go bitch him out.
illmatic2 16
I'm not bitching anyone out, bitch.
Suchagoonnn 4
give me my cookie
illmatic2 16
Sorry, I ate them all.... I got the munchies.
LEGALIZEWEED 0
Dude what do you mean small benefits ? Weed has never killed anyone ever . If weed were legal it would help balance the deficit it has endless uses just look at my profile or better yet got to NORML.org
illmatic2 16
"Weed has never killed anyone ever" You should be shot for saying something so stupid. Stupid kids that smoke weed like you are the biggest motivation for me NOT to do it.
beanshweemps 0
ALOT of everyday things are "bad" for you... why not smoke a little herb? it's natural... unlike crack, meth, etc etc
Yuuki_mei 0
this is why i will never go on drugs.
alym1617 0
marijuana doesn't kill brain cells. the study done to prove that was essentially a scientist suffocating monkeys with pot smoke for 5+ minutes which would give anyone brain damage. it can make you dumber, but any and all effects wear off in a month
j_cat187 20
damn whats with all the ganja haters. it jst an herb
imahitu 0
good thing he only smokes weed instead of stones like crack and shit
wat11115 0
dude shut up
tcuhornedfrog 0
Agreed... I have never known a successful stoner, mostly just losers that do shit jobs
ollie179 21
you must like weed too
CitrusGirl 0
Maybe you shouldn't have tried to argue that point when you were high.
jecaluv3 0
U showed him hahaha lol
forgetmylife12 0
HAHAHAHAHAA. That's happened to me on more than one occasion. I feel ya.
staceysgenesis16 0
aha , youre a little faded then eh?
s3xymoma 1
can I see a picture of your car:) I love cars to. Dam u got a hot ass car lol
Lv2drum930 1
so wut? i kno plenty of sober people who have never touched any drugs that this has happened to. everybody loses train of thought mid sentence, has nothing to do with weed.
casaco 0
good man set um straight
Sk8er951 3
guess that offended this pothead lol
psychokid429 0
I kno how u feel