Today, while having sex with my husband, we had to move around our cat during position changes. Our cat controls our sex life. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend in the missionary position. Once again, our cat decided to crawl onto his back and stare at me. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex. As we were getting into it, his cat came into the room, sat, and stared us down with what looked like disapproving eyes. After 5 minutes had gone by, we stopped completely. A cat just cockblocked me. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex, when we heard a screech. My two cats were having it harder than us. FML
Today, I was making out with my girlfriend in my room. About two minutes into it, my cat walks in and jumps on the bed with us. Without hesitation, my girlfriend tells me to stop, rolls over, and starts petting my cat. FML
Today, I was having it off with my boyfriend. He's the kind of guy that likes to keep things interesting. Just as he started climaxing, he began to meow. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were making love for the first time, when out of nowhere my cat meowed from the doorway. My boyfriend sighed, pulled out, and exasperatedly called me a selfish bitch for not having put my cat outside. FML
Today, when my boyfriend and I were becoming intimate, his cat decides to jump onto the bed and lie right in between us. He then informs me that he wanted to stop to "preserve his cat's innocence." FML
Today, I woke up with my girl laying next to me in bed. When she woke up we started to get hot and heavy but all of a sudden our cat hops on the bed. I guess the cat was more important cause my girl got up started playing it instead of me. Cockblocked by another pussy. FML
Today, my wife and I were getting intimate for the first time in several months. Then we heard our son yelling from the other room needing my help. He needed me to scratch his foot because the cat was on his lap and he couldn't reach it. FML
Today, I found out my boyfriend has a fetish for cats. I think I'm going to have to meow before we do anything together. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
luc887_fml 28
Cats control everything. "Dogs have masters, cats have slaves."
imp4ct 15
pussyblocked?
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (121)
pickleOnABun 10
its your fault. you keep letting it happen. lock it out of the room.
SThompson90 7
I don't think that's what he meant by having two ******* at one time
loserman67 36
This is your fault - completely - pick up the cat and get it out of the room. If the cat fights back, smash it's ******* pea-brain head against the door a few times - it'll get the message
karlcolt45 19
come on man, you could have just said kick it's ass out or tap it on the nose, but when you say pea brained and all that shit, it's kind of like an ASPCA thing
ewang_ 12
#28 Piss off ********. Go hurt animals somewhere else
Mynamewontfi 40
#28 Your username fits you.
JD1147 27
This was going to be my suggestion as well.. It's obvious
worldclassrager 41
I would think the cat would leave...all the movement would disturb it...
CharlieM78 9
Water gun simple easy effective it's a cat drown the stupid thing
mezochan 29
I feel ya, OP. My husband and I have a couple of cats and a bedroom door that doesn't shut properly or lock. We'll pile stuff in front of the door to keep them out and they still manage to get in. Sucks!
caysters 12
Here's an idea... Put the cat outside the room and close the door.
iknowiwantyou 13
they could lock it in another room that's on the opposite end of the house so that they can't hear it scratching and making noise
Girlie7 11
Meoww