Today, while having sex I realized two things. First, I can't remember the last time my boyfriend gave me an orgasm, and secondly I think the curtains slightly clash with the duvet cover. I was more annoyed with the second one. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my boyfriend and I fell asleep twice during sex. FML
Today, while having hot sex with my boyfriend, I was experiencing my very first orgasm. Right when my mother walked in. We had no blankets. FML
Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend. I was making a list of things to do tomorrow while faking an orgasm when I realize my boyfriend had finished about two minutes ago. He's pissed. FML
Today, I heard my boyfriend masturbate next to me and then relieves himself on my bed sheets. FML
Today, while my boyfriend and I were having sex, I had my first orgasm. He thought something was wrong, so he stopped. FML
Today, I decided to dress up sexy for my boyfriend. I put on cute undies and a corset because they made the most of my assets. The first thing my boyfriend said was, "The colours don't match." FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were getting it on. My boyfriend noticed that every time I'm about to climax, I hit my head on something. Whether it's a wall or his face. FML
Today, my boyfriend has so many hang ups about being good at sex that when we actually had sex for the first time this morning, he got upset that I was touching my clit while he was inside me. Apparently it was a sign I think he’s bad at it, and had to do it myself. Neither of us orgasmed today. FML
Today, I fell asleep while my boyfriend and I were having sex. What's worse is that he didn't even notice. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex, when he finished, seemingly angry. He stood there naked complaining for 15 minutes about how our sex sucked. Then he demanded that I dress him, because "it's my fault his clothes were off in the first place". FML
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Top comments
Twinklestar 0
They're your priorities, so why is this an FML? Perhaps the reason you're not enjoying sex is because you're lying there paying attention to the curtains?
brrrx 0
Sounds like you should start having sex in the dark...
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Comments (123)
threed 10
@ #14 - you already said exactly what i wanted to say and so eloquently. in this case, it is the OP who should be dumped by the boyfriend.
CFR 0
Takes two to tango hon.... So are you thinking about replacing the curtains, the duvet, or your boyfriend?
honeydoodles 0
This is not so bad. If he doesn't make you ******, but you don't mind that much, how is this an FML?
pozest_illusion 0
...I love how emotional everyone is over this one... I don't mind, the FML made me laugh.
VampiressMiharu 0
This one's so simple it's awesome.
allmidnighteyes 11
It would make this FML 947830x better if you posted this while he was going at it.
jonny2x4 0
You call this an FML? It's more piss & whine about how shitty you think your sex life is. He's not getting you off so it's automatically his fault. Yet you just lie there like a dead fish and take it and come here later to complain. YDI for being such a selfish brat who only cares about her own pleasure. If he isn't pushing your buttons, then show him where the buttons are. Don't come here to complain and troll for sympathy from strangers. I hate this kind of passive aggressive behavior from women.
p00p0ster0us 0
Then tell him to move out of your house, get another duvet, and get another boyfriend.
Bloodknight 22
I love it, haha! lmfao! just switch up the curtains and the boyfriend. there you go, problem solved.
Gixxer2k4 0
Well you could maybe help instead of laying there like a dead fish?