Today, while having sex I realized two things. First, I can't remember the last time my boyfriend gave me an orgasm, and secondly I think the curtains slightly clash with the duvet cover. I was more annoyed with the second one. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my boyfriend and I fell asleep twice during sex. FML
Today, while having hot sex with my boyfriend, I was experiencing my very first orgasm. Right when my mother walked in. We had no blankets. FML
Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend. I was making a list of things to do tomorrow while faking an orgasm when I realize my boyfriend had finished about two minutes ago. He's pissed. FML
Today, I heard my boyfriend masturbate next to me and then relieves himself on my bed sheets. FML
Today, while my boyfriend and I were having sex, I had my first orgasm. He thought something was wrong, so he stopped. FML
Today, I decided to dress up sexy for my boyfriend. I put on cute undies and a corset because they made the most of my assets. The first thing my boyfriend said was, "The colours don't match." FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were getting it on. My boyfriend noticed that every time I'm about to climax, I hit my head on something. Whether it's a wall or his face. FML
Today, my boyfriend has so many hang ups about being good at sex that when we actually had sex for the first time this morning, he got upset that I was touching my clit while he was inside me. Apparently it was a sign I think he’s bad at it, and had to do it myself. Neither of us orgasmed today. FML
Today, I fell asleep while my boyfriend and I were having sex. What's worse is that he didn't even notice. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex, when he finished, seemingly angry. He stood there naked complaining for 15 minutes about how our sex sucked. Then he demanded that I dress him, because "it's my fault his clothes were off in the first place". FML
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Top comments
Twinklestar 0
They're your priorities, so why is this an FML? Perhaps the reason you're not enjoying sex is because you're lying there paying attention to the curtains?
brrrx 0
Sounds like you should start having sex in the dark...
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Comments (123)
mrhahn530 0
haha
candy62195 0
this is obviously so fake. it was actually embarrassing for ME to read it.
waterynuggets 0
I agree, or if this is real, the dumbass should participate instead of looking at the curtains.
epicwinmaster 0
well yur just a paranoid bitch
BioProject 0
Become a lesbian, then you can work on the carpets next.
thereitgo 1
I love the sudden influx of clever people on FML.
alex_vik 1
So you don't have sex for any reason then? If you're gonna have sex, at least focus on the ******* sex.
judgeymcjudge 0
If every woman thought that way ("Oh, my mind/heart's not in it, I just won't bother"), there are countless husbands and boyfriends who would never, ever get laid. Well done, champ.
Vitamin_C 0
Well help the poor bastard out! You want an ******, get involved and give yourself one instead of staring at the wall. On the other hand, if you're just not interested in sleeping with him personally, you should do something about that too. Don;t just lie there ffs!!
LatinoHeat 0
YDI for thinking of Clay Aiken while with your boyfriend.
alex_vik 1
I don't know who the **** Clay Aiken is, but SHUT THE **** UP WITH THE LAME CLAY AIKEN JOKES
Nightfallz 0
wow this wins the dumbest fml of the week award.
lottofee 0
i was fooling around with xy, something happens. fml i realised i am too fat to do this and that. fml
tarula 1
You forgot "my crush who I have never admitted my feelings to is in love with someone else"