Today, while having sex I realized two things. First, I can't remember the last time my boyfriend gave me an orgasm, and secondly I think the curtains slightly clash with the duvet cover. I was more annoyed with the second one. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my boyfriend and I fell asleep twice during sex. FML
Today, while having hot sex with my boyfriend, I was experiencing my very first orgasm. Right when my mother walked in. We had no blankets. FML
Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend. I was making a list of things to do tomorrow while faking an orgasm when I realize my boyfriend had finished about two minutes ago. He's pissed. FML
Today, I heard my boyfriend masturbate next to me and then relieves himself on my bed sheets. FML
Today, while my boyfriend and I were having sex, I had my first orgasm. He thought something was wrong, so he stopped. FML
Today, I decided to dress up sexy for my boyfriend. I put on cute undies and a corset because they made the most of my assets. The first thing my boyfriend said was, "The colours don't match." FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were getting it on. My boyfriend noticed that every time I'm about to climax, I hit my head on something. Whether it's a wall or his face. FML
Today, my boyfriend has so many hang ups about being good at sex that when we actually had sex for the first time this morning, he got upset that I was touching my clit while he was inside me. Apparently it was a sign I think he’s bad at it, and had to do it myself. Neither of us orgasmed today. FML
Today, I fell asleep while my boyfriend and I were having sex. What's worse is that he didn't even notice. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex, when he finished, seemingly angry. He stood there naked complaining for 15 minutes about how our sex sucked. Then he demanded that I dress him, because "it's my fault his clothes were off in the first place". FML
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Top comments
Twinklestar 0
They're your priorities, so why is this an FML? Perhaps the reason you're not enjoying sex is because you're lying there paying attention to the curtains?
brrrx 0
Sounds like you should start having sex in the dark...
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Comments (123)
DameGreyWulf 1
Rarely do I agree 100% with what you say, but this time I do. It's not respectful at all to fake it.
nicole1123 0
lol. why the **** would it matter if they SLIGHTLY clashed anyway?
Kate5587 0
This sounds like something I might say, except that my boyfriend's never given me an ******. Ha.
lologirl419 0
freakazoid. So the curtains don't entirely match the bedspread... big whoop? GAH you're like my grandmother...
N3VVRmiNd 0
I think it's safe to say you're not French
kubagami 0
You need to learn how to "get" an ****** and stop waiting for your man to "give" you one.
Hazy_fml 0
Thumbs up. OP, how about you give him some guidance as to what you like? I hate when women complain "Oh my man can't get me off!" And they do nothing to try and improve it.
LocoChaz006 0
#125 does have a point. If something is wrong you'd do something to try fix it. Also, if you notice things like similarities in drapes and duvet covers then I guess you can't get off because you're neurotic. At least you didn't call it 'intercourse'!
sryimanasshole 0
stop taking it like a plastic **** doll and do something
iztrollinnn 0
What. The. ****. okay, you knew your boyfriend couldn't make you see jesus, and you still got into bed with him? did you think you could just lay there, judging 'sunkissed' from 'sunflower petal' yellows while he thrusted? you're either a fatass, a stuckup bitch or just plain lazy. how can you just lie there during sex, anyway!? is your ****** shock absorbant or something? YDI.
Jazzgirl4ever 0
Wow... I think some one needs to stop laying there like a statue and actually get into. You ever think you're bf can't or won't get you off because you sit there like a useless log during all of it. God, don't just blame him when you were the one worried about matching colors or some bullshit. Stop being a whiny, lazy bitch and actually participate... maybe then your bf would make an effort to get you off!
GeorgiaBea 28
The only person stopping you from orgasming- is you. The responsibility is not on your boyfriend. Either you need to communicate your needs better, or you need to find positions in which you are able to control your own ******. Either way, YDI