Today, while having sex I realized two things. First, I can't remember the last time my boyfriend gave me an orgasm, and secondly I think the curtains slightly clash with the duvet cover. I was more annoyed with the second one. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my boyfriend and I fell asleep twice during sex. FML
Today, while having hot sex with my boyfriend, I was experiencing my very first orgasm. Right when my mother walked in. We had no blankets. FML
Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend. I was making a list of things to do tomorrow while faking an orgasm when I realize my boyfriend had finished about two minutes ago. He's pissed. FML
Today, I heard my boyfriend masturbate next to me and then relieves himself on my bed sheets. FML
Today, while my boyfriend and I were having sex, I had my first orgasm. He thought something was wrong, so he stopped. FML
Today, I decided to dress up sexy for my boyfriend. I put on cute undies and a corset because they made the most of my assets. The first thing my boyfriend said was, "The colours don't match." FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were getting it on. My boyfriend noticed that every time I'm about to climax, I hit my head on something. Whether it's a wall or his face. FML
Today, my boyfriend has so many hang ups about being good at sex that when we actually had sex for the first time this morning, he got upset that I was touching my clit while he was inside me. Apparently it was a sign I think he’s bad at it, and had to do it myself. Neither of us orgasmed today. FML
Today, I fell asleep while my boyfriend and I were having sex. What's worse is that he didn't even notice. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex, when he finished, seemingly angry. He stood there naked complaining for 15 minutes about how our sex sucked. Then he demanded that I dress him, because "it's my fault his clothes were off in the first place". FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
Twinklestar 0
They're your priorities, so why is this an FML? Perhaps the reason you're not enjoying sex is because you're lying there paying attention to the curtains?
brrrx 0
Sounds like you should start having sex in the dark...
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (123)
Essentials 0
women expect men to give them orgasms are dumb. it works a lot better when you're into it. try communicatng with him instead of interior design.
doof_fisch 2
exchange your curtains for shades -- and maybe you'll be made in the shade.
TheIrishJaneDoe 9
Yeah, but does the *carpet* match the drapes?
star_ver 0
Lame FML is lame. Lrn2fuck, bitch. Edit: If he's given you one before but you just can't remember the last time, help him do what he did then that worked. It's not rocket science.
swodah 0
*LOL* I think U have to change "somethingS" in your life ( note the plural ;-)
FuzzyWalnuts 0
Then ****** tell him! Women have no right to bitch and moan about their significant other not giving them orgasms if they don't try to do something about it. If he obviously can't do it on his own, then help him figure out how to hit the spot. ******* tard.
romaunts 0
Gave you an ******? It's not all his job, y'know! You have to work at your pleasure, too. Maybe it'd be better if you were into the sex with him, instead of staring at the curtains and duvet cover. Geez. Talk to him about the sex.. not like having an ****** all the time is that big of a deal, though- I'd rather have amazing sex without an ****** than okay sex with one. I still feel just as satisfied afterward... I mean, its not like sex itself doesn't feel good, and if it doesn't to you... maybe you shouldn't have sex? Anyways, if the second bothers you more... then what's the problem? I'm not bothered at all if I can't have an ****** during sex... (note, 'I can't have one', not 'he can't give me one') and I don't consider it anything like 'my life is ******'... I think the REAL problem is you. I think the boyfriend should be posting FMLs instead of you... 'Today, I realized that my girlfriend is more interested in the interior design of a room than me when we're having sex. FML'
Bucinka 5
I agree, it's better to be annoyed at the second one. It's easier to give yourself an ****** than to make new curtains. Trust me, I've done both.
Bucinka 5
Actually, this whole thread reminds me of an old joke. Q: What's the difference between a hooker, your mistress, and your wife? A: A hooker says, "Faster, Faster!" Your mistress says, "Slower...slower!" Your wife says, "Beige." ("Yup...think I'll paint the ceiling beige.")
marlux 0
... well then you and your bf need to try, try again or u can get new curtains