Today, while having sex I realized two things. First, I can't remember the last time my boyfriend gave me an orgasm, and secondly I think the curtains slightly clash with the duvet cover. I was more annoyed with the second one. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my boyfriend and I fell asleep twice during sex. FML
Today, while having hot sex with my boyfriend, I was experiencing my very first orgasm. Right when my mother walked in. We had no blankets. FML
Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend. I was making a list of things to do tomorrow while faking an orgasm when I realize my boyfriend had finished about two minutes ago. He's pissed. FML
Today, I heard my boyfriend masturbate next to me and then relieves himself on my bed sheets. FML
Today, while my boyfriend and I were having sex, I had my first orgasm. He thought something was wrong, so he stopped. FML
Today, I decided to dress up sexy for my boyfriend. I put on cute undies and a corset because they made the most of my assets. The first thing my boyfriend said was, "The colours don't match." FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were getting it on. My boyfriend noticed that every time I'm about to climax, I hit my head on something. Whether it's a wall or his face. FML
Today, my boyfriend has so many hang ups about being good at sex that when we actually had sex for the first time this morning, he got upset that I was touching my clit while he was inside me. Apparently it was a sign I think he’s bad at it, and had to do it myself. Neither of us orgasmed today. FML
Today, I fell asleep while my boyfriend and I were having sex. What's worse is that he didn't even notice. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex, when he finished, seemingly angry. He stood there naked complaining for 15 minutes about how our sex sucked. Then he demanded that I dress him, because "it's my fault his clothes were off in the first place". FML
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Top comments
Twinklestar 0
They're your priorities, so why is this an FML? Perhaps the reason you're not enjoying sex is because you're lying there paying attention to the curtains?
brrrx 0
Sounds like you should start having sex in the dark...
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Comments (123)
Xerosnake90 0
Women are soooo ******* stupid. How do you expect to have an ****** if you're so ******* stupid to obsess over a curtain in the room?
loser_fml 1
WHAT COLOUR ARE THE CURTAINS???
DameGreyWulf 1
tangerine with purple polka dots
nicole1123 0
and the bedspread is pink and black striped =D
xxviii28 0
haha f his life
lottofee 0
and of course: someone smiled at me/touched me/spoke with me and i realised that this was the most love/action/attention i've gotten in years/my whole life. fml
repyourcliche 0
Or "Today, I did something totally irresponsible to the point of it being plain thick-shitted. Karma then roundhouse kicked me to Spain and I got what I deserved. FML"
fwongraven 10
"Today, I realised that I am/do/know nothing about [something which makes me a dumbfuck]. FML" "Today, I had fun watching Disney. I'm 127. FML" "Today, I read an old FML and decided to repost it in a sad attempt make myself look interesting. FML"
CrimsonImpact 0
After a night of heavy drinking, I stupidly did _________. FML
lmmmr 0
Cockblocked. FML.
natasha_tailor 0
dump him!
game_over_fml 0
totally the only reason I favorited this. you win good sir, you win.