Today, while having sex I realized two things. First, I can't remember the last time my boyfriend gave me an orgasm, and secondly I think the curtains slightly clash with the duvet cover. I was more annoyed with the second one. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my boyfriend and I fell asleep twice during sex. FML
Today, while having hot sex with my boyfriend, I was experiencing my very first orgasm. Right when my mother walked in. We had no blankets. FML
Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend. I was making a list of things to do tomorrow while faking an orgasm when I realize my boyfriend had finished about two minutes ago. He's pissed. FML
Today, I heard my boyfriend masturbate next to me and then relieves himself on my bed sheets. FML
Today, while my boyfriend and I were having sex, I had my first orgasm. He thought something was wrong, so he stopped. FML
Today, I decided to dress up sexy for my boyfriend. I put on cute undies and a corset because they made the most of my assets. The first thing my boyfriend said was, "The colours don't match." FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were getting it on. My boyfriend noticed that every time I'm about to climax, I hit my head on something. Whether it's a wall or his face. FML
Today, my boyfriend has so many hang ups about being good at sex that when we actually had sex for the first time this morning, he got upset that I was touching my clit while he was inside me. Apparently it was a sign I think he’s bad at it, and had to do it myself. Neither of us orgasmed today. FML
Today, I fell asleep while my boyfriend and I were having sex. What's worse is that he didn't even notice. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex, when he finished, seemingly angry. He stood there naked complaining for 15 minutes about how our sex sucked. Then he demanded that I dress him, because "it's my fault his clothes were off in the first place". FML
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Top comments
Twinklestar 0
They're your priorities, so why is this an FML? Perhaps the reason you're not enjoying sex is because you're lying there paying attention to the curtains?
brrrx 0
Sounds like you should start having sex in the dark...
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Comments (123)
drinkupgorgeous 0
"Today, I said something and my mom/dad/boyfriend/random hobo on the street replied with something witty back and I took it the wrong way because I can't take a joke. FML" "Today, my boyfriend/girlfriend/husband/wife/etc did something cute/funny. FML"
tarula 1
Have you tried moderating? Who in their right minds thinks their FML about getting rejected by FML will make it in here??
Kurmen 0
Get those curtains fixed.
DameGreyWulf 1
Not to mention all the ones about how they spent some time of their life reading FML. Oh, boohoo... Ah, what's hilarious are the unfinished ones. Don't they notice that none of what they just typed is there? Oh, also, I like how people use the term "dead fish" to describe an unparticipative girl. The mental image... lol **** THE DEAD FISH!
bizzmal 0
wow u r a bitch
Gingerly 0
You obviously need new curtains....Oh, and a boyfriend who doesn't suck in bed.
icedrake523 2
No wonder you can't ******, you're not even paying attention. YDI. Another thing, sex isn't just about the ******.
plexico 4
I'm a guy and I TOTALLY get where you are coming from, so to speak. It's going to take a lot of time, effort and money to find an exact match for your curtains and your duvet cover, or ones that complement each other. That IS upsetting. Solving the first problem will be a lot easier. Tell your asshole boyfriend, "Before I **** you, get down there and eat my pussy until I tell you it's OK." And then make sure you coach him so you can get to where you need to be.
bds0688 0
OP is a self absorbed ****. Tell him what you like, play with your clit, tweak your nipples, talk dirty. Do something, you stupid wench. Here's an idea. Enjoy the fact that someone is bothering to put their dick inside of you. Just going off of your post here, I doubt you are very interesting, bright, or enjoyable to be around.
FMLfangirl89 0
hahaha this made me laugh really hard. reminds me of this one time I was having sex with my (now) ex, it wasnt very good and I was staring at the wall thinking how it was dirty and that I should mention to him to wash it. Then I realized he was done. meh LOL
majorFup 0
lmao if you want to really mess with him or screw his self confidence then tel him that he will go in denial then ask all the exs haha if he gets a new gf then hes definently gonna ask her ....do it do it do it!!!!
debo123 0
Wow SOMA girl:D Right on!!!!! Get back at me if you can:) Seriously