Today, in the middle of hot passionate sex with my husband, he stops and tells me he won't be able to finish until I go brush my teeth. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my boyfriend and I were kissing. Halfway through the kiss, he rubs his tongue along all my teeth and says, "You need to brush your teeth." FML
Today, having been in a bit of a dry spell, my husband woke up feeling frisky. I was feeling it too, but I asked if he could get up and brush his teeth as I’d already brushed mine and wanted to have some fun. Instead, he stormed off, insisting I'd ruined the mood. Sorry but morning breath is gross. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were making out when I asked him to go brush his teeth, since his breath stank. He went back to playing video games. FML
Today, while getting it on with my boyfriend, I decided to be spontaneous and do something sexy. I started taking his underwear off with my teeth. My teeth dragged over his shaft, and my braces cut up his foreskin in the process. Now he's not talking to me. FML
Today, while having sex I managed to chip my tooth. FML
Today, my husband and I got into an argument over him not brushing his teeth. It ended with him snapping his toothbrush in half. He's 52. FML
Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend. As soon as I began to climax, he started repeatedly asking, "Are you done? Are you done yet? Are you done?" Well, NOW I am. Thanks, honey. FML
Today, I had to show my husband a video on how to brush your teeth. FML
Today, my husband and I got into a fight because I refused to let him use my fingernail to clean the plaque off his teeth. FML
Today, my boyfriend confessed that after every fight we have, he dips my toothbrush in the toilet. FML
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Top comments
Hgielad_720 0
Awww that sucks. But that's really gross! You should brush your teeth before, OP.
funzcpl 0
ewwwwwwww! for a guy to actually stop in the middle of sex must mean your breath smelled like ass!
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Comments (62)
Hgielad_720 0
Awww that sucks. But that's really gross! You should brush your teeth before, OP.
CitrusGirl 0
That's gross but that means if he has some personal hygeine issue, you can stop and tell him to fix it as well.
syddyb 0
agreed! brush your teeth more often or something!
EffinAhole 0
I'm sure Op brushes her teeth but maybe just had dinner or something. It's still good he was honest but what dude would care that much mid-sex? Switch to doggie style! Problem solved!
KittehSayzRAWR 0
Major turn off haha.
gotmilk23 0
I like your attitude toward life. wish more people saw the world the way you do. peace
cantfightfate 0
this is not an fml. your husband should feel comfortable saying stuff like that to you. I mean, you are married. don't you want sex to be enjoyable for him as well?
TheRealFamilyGuy 5
reminds me of when my wife, halle berry and I were having an awesome threesome. except I had eaten ribs that night which gives me terrible gas, anyway I couldn't stop farting the whole time. lesson is don't eat ribs before sex with halle berry.
5t3ff1k4h 45
"Should have brushed your teeth before..." What happens in the middle of heat-of-the-moment sex? Neither party will be thinking, "Oh, I need to go brush my teeth now." It just happens.
Lonlyboysh 0
It does not necessarily mean like that. If someone kills your child, it does not necessarily mean that you could or should their child. But that would be awesome.
skittle68 0
Lol 9 stole my comment. He should have just switched to doggie so he couldn't smell your stank breath anymore.
Animal123 0
agreed
lilldevil99 6
ROFLMFAO
hurshanandwala 0
Hey: )
Devin91 20
hot breath is the worst
oakleyguy 0
quit tossing his salad lol next time brush your teeth
Rawaha 0
Your hot!
ohsuzykuew 0
what's hot breath? please don't say, "what's urban dictionary?" yeah, I could go look it up, but I'm trolling FML, not ud. thx!
iliterate 0
unless he said it in a horrible way you should be thankful that he thought enough of you, and your relationship, to tell you with fear of you over reacting and taking it as some sort of personal attack. clearly he was wrong...
iliterate 0
without fear rather
padma_yeshe_dawa 0
I agree w/ #1, that sucks (for your husband too), and you really should brush your teeth beforehand. Though I'm curious as to how your husband managed to even start if it was that bad.
littlemissdqgirl 8
I was thinking the same thing. Now I would tend to think maybe op and her husband just had dinner(something tasty but smelly, like garlic bread or something) but ops wording makes me think that is not the case. Op- just brush and rise before hand from now on and your husband will be thankful for the refreshing change:)
theporkchop 0
littlemisdqgirl is hot! makes me want dq!
TerrorDollie 0
He couldve given you the memo before!!!
farkie3 8
Sometimes it is hard to smell your own breath, but even so, it's unhygenical to not brush your teeth regularly. And brushing teeth makes them all sparkly and white! :D
syddyb 0
agreed!
BrzlnBrwni 0
... ewwk u literally were having HOT* passionate sex.... emphasis on hot
oliveindamiddle 0
this makes no sense..
lbeer 1
that must suck
funzcpl 0
ewwwwwwww! for a guy to actually stop in the middle of sex must mean your breath smelled like ass!
xoalisababy 0
true.. lmao.
Judus_beej 0
one of my pet peeves too. tell him to wash his unit in the middle of it before you go at him. then make him do it again before he puts it in. that will show him lol