Today, while getting intimate with my girlfriend, she asked me to whisper her name. Apparently, her name isn't Kate. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was doing it with my girlfriend. Trying to be sexy, I moaned her name. She replied, "What?" FML
Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend. I really get off on hearing her say my name so I was imagining her doing so more often than she actually was. I then called out my own name by accident. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I were doing the dirty, when she told me to say her full name, including her middle name. I'd forgot her middle name. It was completely awkward after. I'm a dumbass. FML
Today, while I was getting it on with my girlfriend I accidentally called out "Mom" instead of her name. FML
Today, I was having sex with the guy I've been in love with for years. I moaned, "say my name." He didn't know it. FML
Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend. Mid-thrust she says "I love you, Jeremy." Then in rapid succession, she fires off 2 other names. None of the names were mine. FML
Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend when I said the wrong name in bed. On top of that, it was the name of her ex-husband's ex-girlfriend. Who he cheated on my girlfriend with while they were together. FML
Today, while making love to my wife, I let slip her sister's name. I don't think it would calm her down much if I told the truth: I was actually thinking of an ex girlfriend who shares the same name. FML
Today, I was at my girlfriend's house. It was just me and her. Things began to get heated, and we started doing it on the living room couch. Near the end of it, I whispered in her ear, "Who's your daddy?" I then heard behind me, "I am." FML
Today, after some very passionate sex with my girlfriend, she exclaimed, "That was amazing Drew." She quickly tried to turn "Drew" into my actual name, which doesn't sound anything like Drew. FML
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Top comments
unknown_user5566 27
She's your girlfriend, and you don't know her name? Are you kidding me?
Fx13mz 7
You done goofed there, genius.
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Comments (169)
unknown_user5566 27
She's your girlfriend, and you don't know her name? Are you kidding me?
notsorandomguy 18
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
Assuming he just calls her sweetheart or honey or the like, it's possible that he forgets her name, since he never uses it. That said, it's still pretty ****** up.
Welshite 40
#14: I don't think anyone in a serious relation doesn't know their partner's name. Maybe if it was a extremely drunken night with a one night stand...
Welshite 40
*relationship Sorry
princessAj1 6
Same thing happened to my brother. Always called his girlfriend babe, honey Etc till he forgot her name.
unknown_user5566 27
Welshite- Exactly. Forgetting her name in the heat of the moment is one thing, but calling her a completely different name (as the FML implied) is ridiculous.
hamrtym 15
Now she's just somebody that he used to know. U-used to know, u-used to know.
rainbowkissies 14
maybe her name is kate, katie, or something similar, but she doesnt like being called that.
THATguy0698 4
True
hatesfate 6
56 - then she wouldn't have requested him to whisper it. JFC, do people not read and comprehend what they are responding to?
walmartpaysme 15
89, reading comprehension is becoming more and more rare these days. Some people just can't connect the dots.
jelly713 19
I agree with 1. In any serious relationship, your partner knows your name. Although in my case, my boyfriend forgets exactly what my last name is & pronounces my first name weird (very strongly) which is because he likes my nickname, Ellie, better. So unless your name is hard to pronounce, or long there is no reason your boyfriend shouldn't recall your name even if it takes a moment or so (when you're in the moment). & definitely no excuse to call you an entirely different name.
Meettitan 14
56- your logic makes no sense. Let's say OPs girl has a name with multiple pronunciations; you're saying she wouldn't then ask to have her name whispered because of that? It's appalling how you even mention reading comprehension.
SoSoRachel 7
14- If they were together, names should've been brought up..
tjolivas 9
Then what is it?
SkoomaKi 28
Katy. It could have been an honest mistake by OP. Nah, he's still got piss-for-brains.
KrazieKleo 13
Her name was Jessica. God damn Jessica and Kate are too similar :(.
katykitkat 4
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
My names Katy:) but your right it must have been a mistake, people call me kate all the time
Posthuman 26
Britney. Cause it's his sister
PrincessPesa 20
63, nice previously posted FML reference. Too bad no one got it...
norotors 16
That's a really old fml you referenced there, 62. Nice job.
may651 14
If it is katelynn and she wanted to hear the whole thing and he only said Kate asshole gf. But if it is no where close to Kate asshole guy.
smilessss 4
If he knew, he wouldn't have written this FML.
KupkakeKitten 8
Anyone else think of Katy from mean girls? "catty heron?" "its katie!"
melanierules123 7
i remember that one!!!!
lozzaaa96 13
96- pretty sure her name's cady
PrincessPesa 20
Jeez, I posted at 2 AM when 63 had 6 thumbs down and I got buried. The guy below me wrote virtually the same comment- he doesn't even give kudos to the right number- and gets thumbed up. WTF Internet? Is this a time zone thing?
Janawa 22
It's John, and her name is girr.
Kog_Hiro 17
142, its the fact that you claimed none of us remembered it. The one after you didn't.
Fx13mz 7
You done goofed there, genius.
marina_xo 9
Consequences will never be...the same!
imavelociraptor 6
I am calling the cyber police and the state police!!!
Sandman366 6
And I know who's doing it, because I back-traced it!
itsharkley 8
IT'S CRISPY HONEY PIE POO YOU DIMWIT.
Curiousmaknae 5
Smooth.
onlychildFTW 34
As smooth as sand paper.
patrickalamo 48
Happens all the time.,, next please
scoobysmith44 9
Like Keith Stone.
NeonBluee 8
Not sure whether she told you a fake name or you cheated on her and said another girls name. Need more information.
Czech_Zidane 14
I think that if she had told him a fake name, she would remember the fake name. Maybe not, who knows, but more likely it was the "more girlfriends at once" problem.
nancyschmancy 9
My boyfriend called me his ex's name in the heat of the moment. I attributed it to all the blood being in his little head. I was still pissed though.
Rosicles 8
or he's just fantasizing about someone else at said time? I doubt he wouldve forgotten her name!
UncleMuscles 5
At least you didn't say "Daniel"
ibforever 3
Your profile picture... Just winning
Posthuman 26
Or his sister's name...
THATguy0698 4
Your picture made my day
metalhead4740 14
Your picture made my day good sir...
tinyj96 3
Cyanide and Happiness short, the man who could sit anywhere. Or something like that
retrorewind 13
duh
gmc_blossom 21
Your comment is so full of wisdom and humour, I'm beginning to feel the rush of an overload of awe for your comment. I doubt I'll be able to finish typing th
Welshite 40
By "apparently" you mean you have no clue what her name is, right?
Binsy 8
"Apparently?" Is this news to you? I kind of hope she punched you...
nygiantsfan85 8
Your sexy that's all
Tezoma 28
Only kind of?
Grimmerie 31
Reverse the genders in that sentence. Imagine saying to a girl "I hope he punched you". Not as funny. Domestic violence is domestic violence, regardless of gender, and quite honestly I find that sort of joke quite tasteless. All right, I'm done. As you were.
Beranii 5
123- are you kidding me? It would hardly be an act of domestic violence. Punching some idiot who very well deserves to get some common sense knocked into him does not sound like a bad idea to me. Now if she did it on a regular basis... Then yeah. But that's not the case. Learn to take a goddamn joke and get that stick outa your ass
Izizack 2
Everyone gets confused sometimes lol?!
Kaurageous007 12
You forgot your girlfriend's name? YDI
T9FTW 20
It looks like you're talking to yourself since OP's name is "you" Oh, witty OP names..