Today, while putting on a load of laundry, I squeezed the detergent bottle and it made a noise like a woman's orgasm. After laughing, I realised that I'm probably too immature to be washing my own clothes. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, while a very cute girl was explaining the apartment's laundry machines to me, I blurted out, "It's okay, my pants are used to handling huge loads". FML
Today, it was laundry day. After my fifth and final load, I noticed I never added any laundry detergent. FML
Today, after finishing the laundry, I took clothes out of the dryer and took a big whiff of their delicious clean scent. That was when I noticed that my mom was watching me, and I had just smelled my dad's still-stained underwear that was on top. FML
Today, my husband decided to drain his motorcycle oil into an empty bottle of laundry detergent. Also today, I decided to lift a stain out of my white comforter with some detergent I found in the garage. FML
Today, I walked into my house with a couple of friends and I saw my girlfriend doing laundry. I jokingly asked her if she had time to do a load of mine as well. She scoffed and said, "Yeah babe, I'll gladly do your laundry… The same day you learn to wipe properly." FML
Today, I went to gather the laundry out of the dryer. My daughter had seen my wife put bleach in the washer, so she decided that honey in the dryer would make the clothes smell sweet. She wasn't wrong, but now I have a giant ball of sticky socks and underwear. FML
Today, I was doing the laundry but couldn't tell if one basket contained dirty clothes or clean clothes. I put my head down into the basket and took a whiff to check, and smelled something strong. I looked down and noticed I had shoved my nose into my mother's dirty panties and inhaled deeply. FML
Today, while doing self-checkout at Walmart, the cap of my laundry detergent came off as I scanned it and dumped all over me. FML
Today, I accidentally washed an entire box of macaroni and cheese with a load of laundry. I'm 25 and do not have kids. FML
Today, my dishes smelled so perfume-y after going through the dishwasher and a clean glass of water tasted soapy. I checked the pods my husband bought and loaded into the dishwasher to make sure we never got that brand again. They were laundry detergent pods. I was essentially a millennial eating a Tide Pod. FML
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Top comments
SkoomaKi 28
That's not immature! That's funny as hell and you have awesome humor!
misterjez 15
I think you are referring to a queef not an ******.
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Comments (216)
SkoomaKi 28
That's not immature! That's funny as hell and you have awesome humor!
ibenj 1
You must be a Prepubescent little boy to find that funny.v
rocker_chick105 31
14- or you must not have a sense of humor.
Razzle_Dazzle_5 11
14 Nope he just has a good sense of humor.
Sparks808 10
He sure he knows what a woman's ****** sounds like? Because it doesn't sound like it, based on this FML.
TheOrangeProon 13
She...
GoingCommando93 14
27 is right, not sure why you thumbed him down. If you got your heads out of your asses and looked at the top for a second you'd realize that OP is female. And 14, a woman with a good sense of humor, (or one with the sense of humor as a guy) is extremely attractive. If you were being sarcastic then I apologize, but try to make it more obvious if you were.
Razzle_Dazzle_5 11
27 I don't know about the other people but I was referring to Skoomaki and (He) is a guy. I think....
VoteForTaco 8
That IS funny !
ttttttyyy 0
DERP!!
murdersquirrel 15
Agreed. Being able to identify something as immature is a sign of maturity!
Demonfish 14
#14- I sigh disappointedly in your general direction.
happle 21
How does a bottle of detergent possibly sound like an ****** of any kind?
iiTsAJ 5
I would've laughed…
blaablaa_fml 5
@112: The reason why everyone is telling 14 to get a sense of humor has more to do to the fact that 14 called SkoomaKi a "Prepubescent little boy", which is pretty disrespectful to be honest.
GoingCommando93 14
112, 14 expressed his/her opinion in a completely immature way by bringing insults into the mix. I inferred that 14 was talking about OP due to thread jacking becoming a popular trend. Either way, it's rude and not mature.
kingfin88 0
Your an idiot
angela3825 1
Or maybe he has a sense of humor unlike you
Llamacod 11
Hey 143, *you're
Fmeonce_shameonu 15
OP. You know how I know you've never made a women ****** and maybe are still a virgin poser?? A queef isn't an ******. Never has been and never will be. It's trapped air. For Christ sake
lighteninghands 0
^OP is female.
idntwannaknow 3
Plenty of grown/mature guys laugh at fart jokes, so I wouldn't worry about it :) (and yeah, I know op is a woman, I'm just saying...)
esines 9
^ it wasn't a fart joke though, it was an ****** sound. Btw does anyone else have a hard time imagining a detergent bottle sounding anything like an ******? Maybe a mans grunt I guess
cheefer 0
OP is a clown shoe comedian. You youngsters don't know shit about that so back up bro.
DarksideDoll 31
201- You're not alone. I've been sitting here with a quizzical look on my face trying my damnedest to picture how (& I'm usually quite good with things of this nature.)
randomthing 22
.... Indeed... c:
RussianFox 13
Maybe you should have just clicked the "I agree" button instead of even commenting.
redmane 21
This would be a perfect example of a comment you make just because you want to be first. Indeed.
randomthing 22
no, lol. :p
Livencountry 5
I would have laughed.
yoursucklives 36
I think most of the people here would have laughed, me included.
ghirahim 5
AAHHHHHahhhhahhh ahh ah aah ahh ahh yeah yes yes oh **** me yes aaah ah AAHHHHaaahhhhhgggfdsdj
ghirahim 5
Ahh ah ah ah, ahh, ah yeah, **** me ah, ahhhhAAHHHHhhaahhhgggfbbj
Heinousness 0
I like woman's orgasms as much as the next guy, but I think it's a bit immature. It's lol funny, but not HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA funny. Laugh, but don't go crazy( not saying you did, OP) just don't listen to these guys saying its funny. You probably are too immature to wash clothes(but very mature about other household things)
ClassyCommando 13
Wait, what?! I was always told the female ****** is a myth! Damn Christian schools!
Heinousness 0
Wait, OP's a girl!! Well, in that case, it's very immature!
siickman 7
I think many of us would have laughed. The maturity level is tested on how long you prolong that incident. Thats how i would test it lol.
VoteForTaco 8
My immaturity level is 69.
JustDerpin 11
my maturity level is OVER 9000!
Llamacod 11
On a scale of...?
VoteForTaco 8
On a scale of apple pie.
Link5794 18
If you're still making that reference, you're nowhere near that mature.
ibenj 1
Come on, is it really that funny?!
Razzle_Dazzle_5 11
5 Yes the concept of a detergent bottle orgasming is pretty funny.
Theia_fml 0
That isn't funny to you? Where'd your sense of humor run off to?
redmane 21
5 - The immature sense of humor is often times the best one, in my opinion. Yes, it is that funny.
fylx100 19
Agree with number 5... This isn't even an FML in my opinion
redmane 21
134 - FMLs don't have to be tragic to be FMLs.
redmane 21
And 134 is gone. Oh. Well okay.
LSS_fml 18
Yes 5, it's really that funny. Loosen up a bit!
Razzle_Dazzle_5 11
Don't feel bad. A couple months ago I bursted out laughing when I was pouring syrup on my pancakes.
micahsmommy 13
Sounds like a sticky situation. (Sorry I couldn't resist.)
AlexBblah 10
Lol,
Aug1508 9
It doesn't hurt to laugh once in a while! And noone is ever too immature to do their own laundry, it's actually very mature.
Llamacod 11
Ok, so I've looked up "noone" in the dictionary and I couldn't find it, granted the dictionary is circa 1984. I was just wondering 2 things; 1: what does it mean and 2: when was it entered into the dictionary?
CheckItOutItsYou 7
^ do you look up every slang word that you read? Or are you just a prick?
IcyWeiner 0
I'm gonna go with he's a prick
TomHarrow 5
Have to agree with 173.
twisted_cherub 14
161- "Noone" is not slang. It's simply "no one" without the space. It was probably a typo, 158. Relax.
XxTooCoolxX 0
I'm a guy and I have the same ******* glasses as you!
rocker_chick105 31
Possibly too immature to give a girl an ****** as well.
fuckmebutdontfml 16
you don't have to be mature to give a girl an ******...if they let you touch them in their naughty bits, and you're still immature, you could make them ******...providing you don't give away your immaturity at the moment of trying or she's a pedo :)
Archay 13
Im pretty sure she has since OP is a girl, unless she doesn't " flick the bean"
Freakophiliac 12
Tsss... Even children **********. -.-
tehaustiebear 34
Actually, if you're immature and don't have your man parts all grown out, you'll find it very hard to pleasure anyone.
SkoomaKi 28
77 - You don't need a penis to pleasure a woman... All you need is money or very good fingers and hands.
sematariux 7
Probably never been given a true ****** yourself negative Nancy
MerrikBarbarian 9
Don't forget tongue ShoomaKi ;) those are good for giving women orgasms too. You might be immature if you think you need a penis to give a woman pleasure though...
Aug1508 9
Or tongue
supbabes 0
Bahahah that's jokes
therealslim 15
102- bahahah that's jokes
theHIGHroad2 5
I don't think having a dirty mind is a sign of being immature :D .. Or may be that's just me
Theia_fml 0
Yep, that's just you. >.>