Today, while cuddling up on the couch with my boyfriend, I asked him if this was his happy place too. He said, "Nah, it's in pussies." FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was having it off with my boyfriend. He's the kind of guy that likes to keep things interesting. Just as he started climaxing, he began to meow. FML
Today, I was cuddling with my boyfriend and told him how smitten I was with him. He responded by giving me a wedgie. FML
Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend in the missionary position. Once again, our cat decided to crawl onto his back and stare at me. FML
Today, I found out my boyfriend has a fetish for cats. I think I'm going to have to meow before we do anything together. FML
Today, I went to my boyfriend's house to cuddle as we usually do. To prepare for this, the first thing I always do is dive into bed. This time, I felt something squishy under the covers, and screamed when I saw it was a Fleshlight. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were cuddling after getting it on a few times. He holds my face in his hands, looks deep into my eyes and says "I smell chicken." FML
Today, it was my first time with a new boyfriend. We had sex in my living room. He asked if he could "eat my pussy." This has became my parakeet's new favorite phrase. FML
Today, i told my boyfriend that I wasn't feeling emotionally well, and wanted cuddles. He proceeded to hump my leg. FML
Today, I called my boyfriend crying to tell him I had the most terrible day. He said I should come over, and he would make me feel better. I said I just want to snuggle, and I was impressed with his sincerity. Then he said, "Can we snuggle... with my dick in you?" FML
Today, I was giving my boyfriend head on the living room couch. Apparently his two cats didn't approve, and they started attacking my face. Luckily for him, since my boyfriend was holding my head down, his privates didn't get a scratch. FML
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Top comments
fenceme235 0
Hope he ment yours
spyman178 0
Meow
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Comments (169)
bawlerr75 9
How romantic ....he's a keeper aha
ikickgingers 15
Take me on... Take on me.
Freeze_fml 17
I'll be gone.
leadman1989 16
*shrieks In a day or twooooooooooo
justanotherhuman 21
...so neeeedless to saaay.
badactor009 0
Immature
False_Stupidity 42
What's so immature about him being honest?
Freeze_fml 17
What an honest tool.
leadman1989 16
Seems legit. A place that's dark, wet, warm, and offers endless pleasure! :)
colabobo 5
You my friend couldn't have said it any better
ikickgingers 15
Bangarang, Peter!! Wha? Nobody else thought Peter Pan? *takes the walk of shame*
underguarded 20
A way to a mans heart is through sex and food. Why would his answer surprise you
HomeAl0ne 20
You can also try going through your younger sister, especially if she is a stripper specialising in bachelor parties.
Red_Wing_Nut44 14
Like a boss
Okamigurl 16
At least he's honest.
Capt_Oblivious 10
At least he didn't say "Nah, it's in asses". Always have to look at the positive.
kristen69 0
If he meant u then good lol but if he didn't dump his loser ass!!!
slushpup9696 12
If you disagree with her comment, tell her why at [email protected]. She was kind enough to include her email address in her profile.