Today, I went to get the vaccination my college requires of all students. The nurse looked at my charts and told me there was good and bad news. The good news was that I didn't need the shot. The bad news was I needed four others. Now, both of my arms are swollen enough to make Popeye proud. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I woke up with a swollen face and have been diagnosed with mumps. Despite having been vaccinated against it. Twice. I have three assignments due next week and I can barely stay awake long enough to type this. FML
Today, my needle-phobic mother took me to get a shot. She fainted. FML
Today, I couldn't prove my son has had chickenpox, so his school gave us the option of getting a potentially dangerous shot he didn't need, pay for an expensive blood test to show that he previously had the virus, or sign a waiver stating I'm a religious nut refusing medical treatment. FML
Today, I found out that I can’t get my COVID vaccine due to my chance of going into anaphylactic shock. FML
Today, I picked up my Gardasil 9 HPV update shot that my doctor prescribed, only to discover that not only do I need three of them, they are $200 apiece. The guy I was dating who was the reason I needed the booster broke up with me on Friday. FML
Today, I went to the blood bank to donate plasma. All went well until the machine went to return my red blood cells. It turns out the nurse sliced my vein and the blood built up in my tissues. I now have a massive swollen arm and bruising, and look like a junkie. FML
Today, I went to get an MRI for preventive care. The diagnosis was great, but I ended up having complications with the contrast, so now I have terrible muscle pain and have to see more doctors. I have mixed feelings. FML
Today, I had to get bloodwork done. I'm deathly afraid of needles. The whole lobby heard me scream as soon as the nurse said 'hello'. FML
Today, I was going over my vaccinations when I spotted that I hadn't gotten my Covid vaccine since last year. Not a big deal, my doctor hadn't made a mention of it on the last visit, and I got my flu shot last month. At least it wouldn't be a big deal if my friend hadn't tested positive for Covid last week. FML
Today, I went to get my blood drawn to see how far along I am pregnant. The lady stuck both my arms twice and then busted a vein in my right arm. She told me to come back tomorrow to try again. FML
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Top comments
EvilPotato 15
Well ****!
HideouslyHuman 10
Toot toot!
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Comments (180)
EvilPotato 15
Well ****!
JMTS 0
You fights to da finish, cuz ye eats your spinach!
ariannaimelda 7
Perfect opportunity to pick up the ladies!
Georgieeporgiee 9
Bin eating up ya' spinach?
enonymous 9
Pretend I'm Olive and let's see how thick your fingers got
StoryOfTheYear 15
Hmm.. and I thought I'd actually need to hit the gym to impress the ladies.
baseballgirl2100 0
haha nice
AshleighNason 24
meow
xoconnie 8
lets not exaggerate here. i got 4 shots at the beginning of the school year and they dont get swollen, they just are sore for a bit. sooo u'll be ok :D
The_Real_Peter 1
I like the way OP worded that... Yes indeed...
False_Stupidity 42
#90, the OP could be allergic to one of the shots, making his arm swell.
TheJester12 15
Take those temporary guns and get LAID. Or if you are a chick try embaressing a skinny dude with your huge muscular dike arms. Swoll arms are always a good thing no matter the gender ;)
LiveLaughFML 10
you're Popeye the sailor man! *toot toot*
HideouslyHuman 10
Well 119,This is awkward.
pie29302930 0
Atta boy. I bet popeye would be proud. Not a lot of people can say they look like that hoss.
StoryOfTheYear 15
Lol @ 125
drlove78843 6
I think it depends on what type of shot and the body immune system to swell or not.
HideouslyHuman 10
Toot toot!
HideouslyHuman 10
...It didnt really fit with the situation,but when I read popeye I immediately went to the song....on the cartoons...
StoryOfTheYear 15
Which would mean it fits the situation.
megan_lovee 0
message mee!!!..if yur cuteeee
HideouslyHuman 10
...Yes.
syki 22
...You sure do... love ellipses...
HideouslyHuman 10
Quite comedical.
HideouslyHuman 10
Yea in real life I would.Honestly I just use ellipses to show when I'm thinking between typing.
HideouslyHuman 10
Haha thanks.
enonymous 9
My ... Pauses ... Are ... From ... Being ... Out ... Of ... Shape...
MagicGiraffe 12
Stevie... From... Malcolm... in the... Middle...?
i_wuz_nver_here 31
Happy bday hideous :)
HideouslyHuman 10
Thanks for the early wish.
jillianmathers12 13
That sucks! If that were me I would have cried! Last time I went for needles they couldn't give it to me because I was yelling at them to much!
lovepotion75 4
Have some spinach, that'll sure bring it down.
chickenwalrus 14
it obviously didn't work that way for popeye.
lovepotion75 4
Naturally spinach is good for you, no harm done.
flockz 20
and you didn't have to eat nasty ass spinach!
ColdplaySucks 18
Spinach is pretty good depending on how you eat it/what you put with it.
Mayjay122 7
I eat my spinach raw!....like a boss
DQEight 8
With salt!!
TheWindowLicker 13
Well yea, spinach can be good. But ass spinach certainly wouldn't be.
JocelynKaulitz 28
Spinach dip! Yummmmm :P
hahalaughing 0
i had to get 4 before. i had cheer right after too. it suckedd cat nipple.
SirSquishyPants 1
Really?
flockz 20
hm wouldn't know, never sucked cat nipples before.
2ndSucks 15
***********, anyone?
CleverBastard 8
Well I too, had four shots at one appointment before.. But I wasn't a PUSSY about it!
mikeeg 0
You and the person below me have the same face but backwards. Weird.
bizarre_ftw 22
109 - I once had 5, they didn't even hurt, why do people made such a big deal about it?
ms_YoungMula 8
Getting those shots is the easy part of college
chessypie 0
Thats what she said
MwahFMLS 6
You must feel like a big kid! :D
chester75 5
it tends to hurt more if you tense up.
iAintEvenMad 0
Thank you captain obvious.
KiddNYC1O 22
"Those are giant tumors..."
DDpandaz 0
"I'd say about 2 months"
KiddNYC1O 22
YES. ^
ikickgingers 15
Dr Hartman, ftw
ipodlover1995 0
"and that thing you're doing with your eye, you had a stroke"
KiddNYC1O 22
LOL.
teddy4nyy 13
A normal person should not look like this.
laden_swallow09 35
"It's naht a tu-mah!"
LolFMLnot 10
67 hahahhaa your not funny now go dig a hole and don't come out until you get wiser :)
WCARlover 35
Where's a 67?
HideouslyHuman 10
Dejavu,this guy was posting in reply to someone on a completely different FML and said the same thing... I'm going to assume it's a sort of a glitch?
HideouslyHuman 10
Easter rabbit is taking this hiding thing to an extreme!
LolFMLnot 10
Yeh sorry wrong FML Epic fail -.-
ohmandapants 17
Really? You didn't notice that you were commenting on the wrong FML? You didn't notice that you were replying to no one? You wrote this exact same comment on another FML HOURS ago. Attention *****.
WCARlover 35
Would you like a lollipop?:)
ikickgingers 15
Sour apple, please...
MagicallyFat 12
OOOHHHHH peach or blueberry please
HideouslyHuman 10
You don't get a choice,they are all grape flavored :-@
Enslaved 38
Hands down. Butterscotch dum dums are my favorite!(:
HideouslyHuman 10
Too bad they are all grape.
perdix 31
Have you tried the Buttered Popcorn flavor Dum-Dum? It's weird, but awesome ;)
Enslaved 38
Perdix, I have not but if it's anything like the Jelly Belly jellybeans, then yuck! I couldn't get the texture to match the flavor profile. Just like that cheeseburger pizza Dominos had a while back. They used ketchup and mustard instead of the marinara sauce. It tasted all too strange for my liking!(: Don't get me started on how I feel about spaghetti squash. Lol
perdix 31
OK, then don't go out of your way to get the buttered popcorn Dum-Dum. I'm fascinated by how you feel about spaghetti squash. I can hardly imagine anyone having very strong feelings about it. Let me have it!
Enslaved 38
Well, apparently you have a more sophisticated palate than I. Lol I can't get past expecting foods to taste a certain way only to have them not match. Just like the other foods I mentioned. And I love all veggies! But that one feels weird in my mouth.
HideouslyHuman 10
*heavy breathing* Grapist
deadlydk 0
I'll GRAPE you in the mouth!
perdix 31
Enslaved, I'm wondering why spaghetti squash is the one with such a disconnect. Were you expecting meatballs, too, when you cut open the squash? I've got to admit that your mention of things feeling weird in your mouth turned me on a little bit. ;)