Today, I went to my boyfriend's house to cuddle as we usually do. To prepare for this, the first thing I always do is dive into bed. This time, I felt something squishy under the covers, and screamed when I saw it was a Fleshlight. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my girlfriend and I were in bed after a long stretch of abstinence, finally heating things up. I went to the wardrobe to grab the vibrator (I love using it on her) and slowly revealed it: mold-covered, an absolute biohazard. The night ended with me fixing a leak behind the wardrobe. FML
Today, I crawled into bed, naked, wanting to get some, and hoping to surprise my boyfriend who's always complaining that I don't sleep naked. When he finally got into bed he rolled over, touched my bare ass, and said "Oh…" then rolled back over and went to sleep. FML
Today, I spent my first night at my boyfriend's place, and my first night sleeping beside him. I woke up in the early hours to him holding me and muttering in his sleep something like "surprise fisting". I'm beyond terrified. FML
Today, I was cuddling with my boyfriend and told him how smitten I was with him. He responded by giving me a wedgie. FML
Today, I was lying naked on my boyfriend's bed for the first time ever. He glanced at me, then started playing with a Rubik's cube. FML
Today, I was in bed when I rolled over and saw a hand right beside my head. I freaked out and nearly peed myself, just to realize that it was the huggable heart pillow my boyfriend had given to me on Valentine's Day. FML
Today, I got home from work and found my girlfriend waiting for me in some skimpy lingerie. She ended up pushing me onto the bed, and as I lay there, expecting to be pleasured, she pulled out a pair of adult-sized footsie pajamas and dressed me in them. FML
Today, I gave my mom an extra pillow since the ones in the guest room were too flat and hurt her neck. Hours later, I remembered that I'd stashed my vibrator in that pillowcase during a romantic camping trip with my husband. She found it. FML
Today, me and my boyfriend were fooling around on my bed when things started to get heated. I said to him, "Do what ever you want". He got up and said he'd be right back. I thought he went to get a condom. He came back with a sandwich. FML
Today, per my boyfriend's request, I bought some lingerie. He got so excited when he saw me, he ripped it off me right away. After we were done he used it to clean up. I essentially bought a $40 cum rag. FML
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Top comments
Ruairi the red 7
Atleast he ain't cheating
BurnInDemonFire 39
If you genuinely only cuddle, you can't blame the poor bastard. Affection and intimacy are two different things, and a loving relationship should have both. If you're waiting because of religion, or to be sure he's right for you, and he doesn't feel the same way, you need to find a compromise. If the fleshlight stops him from cheating, leave him be until you're ready to replace it.
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Comments (7)
Ruairi the red 7
Atleast he ain't cheating
prince21 3
give me his Instagram or number lol
Sumus125 17
wtf lol
bleachedraven 14
😂
BurnInDemonFire 39
If you genuinely only cuddle, you can't blame the poor bastard. Affection and intimacy are two different things, and a loving relationship should have both. If you're waiting because of religion, or to be sure he's right for you, and he doesn't feel the same way, you need to find a compromise. If the fleshlight stops him from cheating, leave him be until you're ready to replace it.
Gnomie Leviton 4
Anon here! I was already fully aware that he used a fleshlight and I don't mind one bit. Usually he keeps it hidden though. Accidentally laying on top of it was what freaked me out!
bobsanction 18
That really makes it not an FML then, more of an awkwardturtle.
BurnInDemonFire 39
Yeah, not an FML if you already knew. Unexepected sure, but you can't feel bad if you accept he uses it.
Brightside86 31
Seems like a double standard. Pretty much every girl I've slept with has a sex toy either under their pillow or in the nightstand. It's never struck me as odd.