Today, while cooking with my girlfriend, I thought it would be funny to slap her with a raw porkchop. She thought it would be funny to throw the hot cooking grease on me. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I went to kiss my girlfriend on the neck while she was cooking on the stove. Apparently I scared her and now I have a nice burn mark on my head from the hot frying pan she hit me with. FML
Today, I was cooking bacon while my dog watched me, drooling. I thought this was funny and I teased her a bit. I then slipped in the drool as I was carrying the bacon and she got to enjoy it. FML
Today, my boyfriend came home while I was making a snack in the kitchen. We started making out and he lifted me up and sat my ass on the hot stove. FML
Today, I went over to this girl's house that I really like. I was planning on cooking her dinner. In the process, the grease in the pan got too hot and caught fire. We ended up having to call the fire department. FML
Today, my boyfriend was cooking me dinner. He walked away and I decided to help by giving the pan of veggies a sautee flip. My boyfriend failed to mention that he had just pulled that pan out of a 500 degree oven. FML
Today, my girlfriend threw boiling water at me to get me off my phone. It worked, but now I'm burned. FML
Today, my girlfriend hit me on the head with a frying pan for a funny video, because she thought it would go bonk and make me do a funny reaction. She must be a new kind of stupid cause I got four stitches, a hairline fracture, and a headache. FML
Today, my wife stabbed my hand with a fork, making it bleed. I'd only tried to take some fries from her plate. FML
Today, I was helping tidy up after my girlfriend's flat warming. I went to put a sharp kitchen knife in the sink while she was washing dishes, and stabbed her in the finger instead. FML
Today, I tried to surprise my girlfriend by cooking dinner. As I was chopping onions, I cut my finger and started bleeding everywhere. She walked in, saw the blood on the onions, and almost passed out. FML
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Top comments
peete182 0
Wait until she falls asleep then take all of her left shoes, leave the right ones, she won't know what's going on
leftyy 0
then there would be nothing LEFT
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Comments (180)
TessaV 3
Dude why hit a girl with Raw meat it maybe funny with your friends, but you girlfriend it's a no. You deserved maybe not hot grease but you do relies how stupid that was I hope. :( sorry it had to hurt but your gf is a special person not another bro you hang with!
TessaV 3
Dude why hit a girl with Raw meat it maybe funny with your friends, but you girlfriend it's a no. You deserved maybe not hot grease but you do relies how stupid that was I hope. :( sorry it had to hurt but your gf is a special person not another bro you hang with!
thatguy32692 4
U deff deserve payback but hot cookin oil? A little to far if u ask me dump the pshyco bitch
brianjman14 23
A little far? That was completely too far.
Ikickmidgets 11
Suck it up, you started it. Women don't play fair, you should know that by now. You're just lucky she didn't dump that shit on your balls and turn them into bacon bites!
THE_A_TEEN 28
Can I throw hot cooking oil at you and say"suck it up"?
Okayitwasme 0
Let's consider that this might not have been his first pork slap.
witchdoctor1 9
So say you hit someone with a fist do you deserve that person turnin around pulling out a gun n shooting u in the face (given grease n bullets are diff. But comparison here) provided you survive the scars and etc shoul the doc say "bitch it's just a bullet wound! Be a man n Suck it up!"? I don't think you'd go back to that doctor for being a douche...
terrask 11
Yeah... that's aggravated assault. That moron needs to be behind bars.
brianjman14 23
Here come all the Feminists with all the "YDI!!!!! WE DONT LIKE WITH BE SLAPPED WITH RAW MEAT!! HOPE THAT LEFT PERMANENT BURNS ON YOU!!!!!"
Enslaved 38
So far, all the female comments are stating how extreme the OP's gf was to do that. Not all girls stick together when a crazy bitch is involved. Lol
brianjman14 23
Yeah, but look at the "your life sucks" to "you deserved it" ratio.
Enslaved 38
Wow! I just saw those numbers. That's crazy. Lol
mserrato 8
At least she didnt think it would funny to slap you with a knife
zeiss24 7
Ha! You Guys Are One Funny Couple! You're Next Family Reunion Should Be A Blast. "Yeah, I Got That Burn Mark From... Well. Never mind."
Okayitwasme 0
Wow, even the comments are violent! OP the meek will inherit the earth. Either that or stop watching violent cartoons.
Kiki242 19
I think its time to evaluate your relationship.