Today, while cooking with my girlfriend, I thought it would be funny to slap her with a raw porkchop. She thought it would be funny to throw the hot cooking grease on me. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I went to kiss my girlfriend on the neck while she was cooking on the stove. Apparently I scared her and now I have a nice burn mark on my head from the hot frying pan she hit me with. FML
Today, I was cooking bacon while my dog watched me, drooling. I thought this was funny and I teased her a bit. I then slipped in the drool as I was carrying the bacon and she got to enjoy it. FML
Today, my boyfriend came home while I was making a snack in the kitchen. We started making out and he lifted me up and sat my ass on the hot stove. FML
Today, I went over to this girl's house that I really like. I was planning on cooking her dinner. In the process, the grease in the pan got too hot and caught fire. We ended up having to call the fire department. FML
Today, my boyfriend was cooking me dinner. He walked away and I decided to help by giving the pan of veggies a sautee flip. My boyfriend failed to mention that he had just pulled that pan out of a 500 degree oven. FML
Today, my girlfriend threw boiling water at me to get me off my phone. It worked, but now I'm burned. FML
Today, my girlfriend hit me on the head with a frying pan for a funny video, because she thought it would go bonk and make me do a funny reaction. She must be a new kind of stupid cause I got four stitches, a hairline fracture, and a headache. FML
Today, my wife stabbed my hand with a fork, making it bleed. I'd only tried to take some fries from her plate. FML
Today, I was helping tidy up after my girlfriend's flat warming. I went to put a sharp kitchen knife in the sink while she was washing dishes, and stabbed her in the finger instead. FML
Today, I tried to surprise my girlfriend by cooking dinner. As I was chopping onions, I cut my finger and started bleeding everywhere. She walked in, saw the blood on the onions, and almost passed out. FML
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Top comments
peete182 0
Wait until she falls asleep then take all of her left shoes, leave the right ones, she won't know what's going on
leftyy 0
then there would be nothing LEFT
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Comments (180)
PYROxSYCO3 7
Dumbass i thought people learned never play in the kitchen!!!
alliecat1876 2
Now dats a hot mess
lionlvr 9
Ugh..I once accidentally poured hot cooking oil all over my hand at a Chinese restaurant. Not fun.
lulzmylife 4
You deserve that one for sure. How on earth is slapping someone with a raw porkchop even remotely funny? Love how men try to dish it out, but they can't take it. Quit crying.
brianjman14 23
Bitch, being slapped by a porkchop is NOTHING compared to having hot grease thrown at you, so that "can't take in what you dish out" is off-scale, retard.
Themrcobain 2
are you retarded
AlexanderSilver 0
3- You are the first sensible person I've seen in a long time.
lizliz23 0
#132, he never said it was hot
brianjman14 23
He obviously did... Read the FML again.
chels1994 11
I dont see why people think he did something horrible. I mean he just hit her with raw meat.. big deal. if she Wasatch vegetarian it would be different, but if not then just wash your face Jesus nbd
Themrcobain 2
I don't see how being a vegetarian makes even the slightest different.
chels1994 11
you dont see how hitting someone who is vegetarian in the face with raw meat is worse than hitting someone whose not? think about that...
chels1994 11
was a vegetarian * damn phone
WinTheDay 4
You should be thankful you didn't find that rawporkchop up your ass, Count your blessings my friend(;