Today, I went over to this girl's house that I really like. I was planning on cooking her dinner. In the process, the grease in the pan got too hot and caught fire. We ended up having to call the fire department. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I cooked dinner for the girl I've been dating. Everything was going well until I accidentally set off the smoke alarm. The fire department showed up, and my date spent the rest of the evening flirting with one of the firefighters, so I guess we weren't actually dating? FML
Today, to impress my date with dinner, I spent hours prepping and cooking. Just as I was about to serve her, I realized I'd left the stove on and my kitchen was on fire. As the fire trucks arrived and my date looked on in horror, I couldn't help but think, "My cooking is so hot it literally set the house on fire." FML
Today, while I was at work, my wife discovered you cannot put out a grease fire with water. I came home to a frantic spouse, a fire department bill, and a newly destroyed kitchen. FML
Today, I went to kiss my girlfriend on the neck while she was cooking on the stove. Apparently I scared her and now I have a nice burn mark on my head from the hot frying pan she hit me with. FML
Today, I was sleeping in my apartment when I woke up to the smell of smoke. Alarmed, I ran out to the kitchen to find my roommates trying to put out a fire on the stove. As soon as they saw me, they ran for it, informing me that it was my problem now. They used my good frying pan. FML
Today, I tried to make breakfast. I had everything cooking on the stove when I reached to turn on the faucet, only to find out that the head of the faucet was up the sleeve of my robe. After drying off, I went to serve my boyfriend his plate, but when I returned, the stove had caught fire. FML
Today, I asked a waiter at a restaurant if I could go in the kitchen to compliment the chef. She turned out to be really pretty, so trying to be cool, I leaned back onto what I thought was a table. It turned out to be a stove, and my shirt caught fire. FML
Today, my boyfriend was cooking me dinner. He walked away and I decided to help by giving the pan of veggies a sautee flip. My boyfriend failed to mention that he had just pulled that pan out of a 500 degree oven. FML
Today, my boss told me to not burn the place down while she was outside. When she came back inside, I accidentally started a fire. FML
Today, I wanted to impress my girlfriend with a cool fire breathing trick I learned online, and ended up burning half her room. FML
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Top comments
biass 0
that was a hot date...
DocBastard 40
Tell her you're just a hunka hunka burnin' love.
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Comments (113)
biass 0
that was a hot date...
LandeisJ 11
Nice.
ThePwnapple 0
I like to cook lasagne, I love it. I wear an apron with fake boobies on it, 'cos I'm SUCH a character!
biass 0
hope she had insurance... (P.S here comes the post about men not being in the kitchen)
marinus_fml 20
haha I see what you did there #1 :)
KiddNYC1O 22
why wasn't SHE cooking something!?? ;]
MissErikaHart 0
was this a girlfriend or just a girl u liked? if not then that's kinda **** of u to cook dinner for a girl ur in like with, op. u should take her out to a nice resturaunt next time.
Phustercluck 11
Pedobear, Katy Perry is a little old for you.
MAGNAVOX 0
Cover the pan.
KingDingALing 9
You owe her, OP. Eat her out ;)
glambert1998 0
LMFAO
louisstephen 8
YOU sir, are a comedian !
rawrkittehpwnage 0
doesn't look like Its gonna work out
randomchickkk 0
well no one got hurt so that's good.
metalboxzes 0
where'd you eat out at?
Doortje 30
Taco Bell.
mrahhhhh 21
"Bush" Gardens.
farkie3 8
Clever.
DocBastard 40
Tell her you're just a hunka hunka burnin' love.
shortyshort21 0
no
honeybee366 0
will old ppl please stop trying to use the Internet?! please!!! it's sooo annoying!!!! I know you're old..you've got a picture of your kid and you always post stupid things like this, that only an annoying old person would say. do us all a favor and just go away. go take care of your kid in the picture.
5t3ff1k4h 47
It's also annoying when little whiny illiterate kids use the internet. So if the old people have to GTFO, so do the little kids. Also, it's the internet, dude. Who cares who's on it? If you have access to the internet, you have the freedom to go on the FML site, provided you aren't causing issues. Oh, and his little girl in the picture (or her little girl...) is young enough that Doc may not actually be old. Young parents. It happens.
20waffleater10 0
sucks for you
SpaceMannn 0
did u pick her up and carry her away to saftey like in the movies? :o
TRACKGiRLJONNi 0
kfc is the all American dinner.
biass 0
Yea, no eatin out until the third date. :) Nd yes, I kno wat I said. =P
Annihilator 0
Just when you think you got it all, a big failure occurs when you least expect it. People's daily FAILURES keeps me entertained. I wonder what's next? Hairy moles, car accidents, retarded boyfriends, girls complaining about their periods, stolen money, failing at life and then working at MC forever........It's all possible. 『❻❾』（ゝ。∂)
dalafave8668 0
you chance of getting laid in now a 0... just like before. FYL
20waffleater10 0
now you have an excuse as to why she should do all the cooking! :)